Dude, I was reading this and I started reading the part with the lyrics and I was like, "Holy Sheet! I know that song!'' Then i started singing it. Great story by the way, really heartfelt.

wicked! i love the plot! . great story its a nice way of ending too -

Okay first you need to learn to separate one character story line from the next You go from Sanzo to Goku back to Hakkai/Gojyo but with no marker it gets confusing as to who we're with now. Especially there toward the end of 13. Also separate Author notes from the story, you did it a little but it should have been done throughout the story.

The characterization was fine. They seemed in character for the most part with the exception that I don't believe that with Goku sick and possibly dying that Hakkai and Gojyo would go to a bar and get drunk. Then after realizing their sleeping together continue. They just seemed to instantly accept it and don't remember till morning.

Sorry one of their best friends is really bad sick and they just up say to hell with it and go get drunk? I just don't believe Goyjo or Hakkai either one would do that. Pace a hotel room and smoke or the doctors office yes. Hakkai would have defiantly returned later to try to make Sanzo leave or at least rest after a few hours and promising he and Gojyo'd watch over Goku.

I think this because at the end of ep 20 Sanzo was still recovering from his poison but Goyjo didn't just go off getting drunk, no, he stayed at the hotel in case he was needed. When Goku was kidnapped by Houra he didn't just dismiss it like Sanzo and go get drunk. In the reload manga vol 7, Goku was dying wounds everywhere Hakkai can't do anything. Goyjo didn't just leave him and be oh well he's dying so what lets go get drunk or even afterwards when he was no longer dying or in danger he didn't leave him and go get drunk.

I realize you wanted a romance type situation between them but to me it made it seem like they didn't give a damn about what happened to Goku. I'd have had the doctor send them off to find a rare element that would cure Goku's fever and found a way to work the romance in somehow.

Plus if the doctor was THAT terrified of Sanzo I just don't see him staying in the room alone with Sanzo. He's already stated he can't do anything for him so why sit there and watch him? Sanzo I could see doing it because he cares and is worried, but I'd think the doctor would have other things to do and possibly other patients to attend to.

Also what happened to the Goddess of Mercy? She was there one minute demanding an answer out of Sanzo then it was suddenly like she was no longer there. And how would she get into Sanzo's mind? That made no sense.

Plus when Goku collapsed during battle like that Hakkai would not have been okay you say you're fine that's good and walk away. He'd have realzied something was wrong checked him out and found he had a fever.

I suppose its possible but in all the years Sanzo's raised Goku it seems hard to believe this is the first time he's been sick.

Also having a list of people you'd like to thank should go at the end of the story not annoy the rest of us at the beginning.

Nice fic! But there were times where I didn't know paragraph 1 from paragraph 2. It's still good, though! Hope there's a sequeal!

wow... i'm not on yaoi, but someday... i'm gonna write one for your story... only one story, but noy a oneshot... but i'm not a yaoi faN i just liked your story... first yaoi i've reviewed, and last.

Exciting piece this is!

That was fantastic!Absoltiy aswome!My Spelling sucks but who cares I loved your story and I finanally finshed reading it too!Hehehe!

Laterz

~PunkerPrincess67~

ohohoh good!

cool! i love it! i think everybody does but it feels likei've heard that song somewhere...

LOVED the story! I hope all your works are this good.

Aww, it's done?
man, why so many fics finished today?
I hope you'll write another one!
ja ne!

good fic. write another. ;)

i love ur fan fic!
its great...so touching...it almost made my cry.
keep up the good work...
i like short chapters...juz like u did..stick to it..
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! GAMBATEH~

You should have used restrained rather than refrained at that one part.. but what's detailed grammer in a fanfic, right? .
I enjoyed reading this fic very much and followed it as it came out. There were some parts that were a bit slow, but overall, it was very enjoyable. I like how you portrayed the impatience and frustration of the situation.. but the end... CHESE! :P
Though always happy to see an Evanescence and Hyde fan.. been watching FMA?
;)
Jaa ne. and Thank you very much for your effort.

Finished already? Oh well...I loved it though! _ I wanted to see more though but I hope write another story! _ Ja!