Very good story

Keep writing as life allows

Please finish this story

Although I’m enjoying this story immensely, I have to say that several important things could have been mentioned in chapters 10/11, and I would have seriously loved it if someone had pointed them out aloud: for one thing, Dumbledore, McGonagall, or Snape (or any of the Hogwarts staff, really) should have pointed out that IF anyone actually believed that there was sexual abuse of a student happening at the school, the Aurors would be involved, not merely reporters — especially reporters so unprofessional as to mention the name of the underage victim in a news story AND storm the school AND harass the alleged victim(s)/criminal(s). The reporters should have been silenced by the teachers immediately, too. The complete lack of true authority (Auror) involvement, even just as show of action or an intimidating presence, cheapens the whole incident, making it look like the farce it is. And someone really should point out that no reputable journalist would mention any names or print such a story prior to an investigation, especially when children are involved (whether they’re the victims or the suspects), because of course, a newspaper that prints lies will no longer be trusted and will no longer be paid for/read by the public.

And, it bothers me that Harry hasn’t called Dumbledore/others on what looks to me like harassment; if he was required to tell them his background/qualifications, he should have been questioned as a prerequisite during his interview, not made to feel as though he owes them information now that they’re colleagues. At the very least, Dumbledore should be attempting to question Harry in private.

If I may offer a few more critiques . . .
- The story would benefit from some editing; the following things don’t really detract from the story, but they do distract me as a reader:
- There are random numbers in with the story; missing quotation marks; whole paragraphs that repeat themselves, mixed in with each other; and things that you tell us in early chapters that you then repeat in later ones. There’s one part where you included what appear to be notes for yourself (you wrote: “Poppy’s eyes widened [suggest adding: As realization dawned upon her].” — which made me laugh), and a few things that look like leftovers from trying to format the story for another site. Also, I don’t think that, so many chapters in, we still need to see Jason’s name in quotation marks; we know he’s Harry’s disguise.
- Like I said, these don’t make the story awful or hard to read (because you, unlike so many, have a great grasp on apostrophes and the story itself is truly great, with a good, solid flow), but I do find myself skimming some parts, looking for repeated plot points and things I haven’t read yet.

Aside from that, I really have been enjoying this story so far; I love the idea that Harry is good at both Defence and Potions, and that he was able to save Professor Snape from the shadow-creature, and I especially like that you kept Severus a strong character — he wasn’t crying or begging for his life even when his throat was being slit, and he has trouble ‘lowering himself’ to ask for help even when he knows Harry/Jason can help him, but he’s man enough to do it anyway. I really like your Severus, and I like that you’ve written Harry as smart, observant, competent, and good at understanding that good people can (and sometimes have to) do bad things to do good in the long run. You even managed to make Ron, Hermione, and Draco likeable, and I normally hate them, no matter who writes them, haha.

So, all in all, this is great, and I’m really looking forward to reading the rest; I just had to stop and say all this. I don’t think you asked for massive reviews OR critiques (sorry), and I don’t even know if you still write . . . but if you do, I hope you come back to this story, because despite how my nit-pickiness might make it sound, it’s a truly enjoyable story that I’ve been glued to for hours! :)

this is so good! I really hope you finish it one day! please come back!

Had to come back and re-read this. It is a very good story despite being unfinished.

Amazing story! Wish there was more!

Sad to see this never be finished.

How did I miss this all these years? So very bummed it isn't complete but what a good ride so far!

I knew I started on an abandoned story, so the abrupt ending should have been anticipated. Still, I liked the story so far, am happy to have read it and if the muses ever strike again, would love to read on.

Update please :)

This has been such an interesting story. I'm really sorry that it ended up abandoned. I rather like the idea that someone knows some of the price Harry paid.

NO YOU HAVE TO START UPDATING AGAIN PLZ

Damn it, I've only just noticed this has been updated last time a decade ago and it isn't finished...that's not fair.

Mmm. This is getting really good, hope it stays that way.

Ah, yes, the writing is much much better now. I'm glad I stuck to this.