It's cute, so far, but I think Florina would take longer to be so calm alone with Wil.

Man Your story combines the love tragedy and humour together keep on writing

Wow, I feel so appreciated now. Thanks, man, that really made my day.

So, chapter 14 was a good deal huge-er than I remembered it. Either I simply didn't read a significantly ginormous section of it earlier, or you changed it while I wasn't looking. I'll go with the latter explanation, since it allows me to call you a jerk. You jerk. But seriously, it was all really good. I'm a big fan of action scenes, and yours are handled particularly well. I also like some of the comedy you have, such as the one would-be-rapist bandit and the others saying "why did we bring him along?" Or the "I know I'm forgetting something" in chapter 15 (although that got a little hard to follow, since Canas and Bartre were with Haru and co., and then they weren't...). I also like the ongoing tension between Elfaiya and Guy, and I'm glad Fire-Edge seems to be OK with it. I may have to steal your characters for name-drops or cameos in one of my fics someday.

I went back and read the entire story over again. I'm not sure what you changed, but a few general comments. There are a few grammatical errors scattered throughout, things that are easy to miss while writing but easy to spot reading. You actually introduce both Lyn and Elfaiya twice, making me think you added new intros in without remembering that you had done it later in the story. And while the comedy is nice, I think you rely a little too heavily on it. But the more recent chapters had a better balance; I especially liked Sain finally breaking down and cursing the world for his bad luck, which brought a running gag of the story to a nice head.

Finally, I like the new direction the story is going in because of Florina running off, and I like how you used this chapter to continue that direction; keeping them apart while not really keeping them isolated.

It's great to see you writing again. I loved chapters 14.5 and 15, and look forward to more. I'm sorry for writing such a long review, but I hope you enjoyed reading it. Good luck, man, and I hope to see you soon.

-Wyrmseeker

Oh...I just noticed this story and it looks so promising. You are taking your time on it and it is original. I like it. The pairing is indeed cute and I like it, but I also like that you don't just make it like "the simply they fall in love and always stay in live with no problems, the end" kind of thing. You put a lot of work into it and I like it. Anyway, keep up the good work.

Oh, if you are interested than you can look at my FE story. It probably isn't as good as yours...but if your interested...than I'd appreciate criticism. But you really don't need too...

Anyway best of luck and hope for a fast update (it it is convenient)

O OMG, it's been SO long! I've missed you! I'm very pleased that you've decided to start writing again!

Anyway, onward to the review! I definitely had to reread this entire story to remember what happened. XD I forgot that I made Elfaiya so violent and haughty (reminds me of Clarine). Either way, your writing has definitely changed (and improved) since your previous chapters, which isn't surprising since it's been... how long? Either way, I'm glad that you deviated from the canon plotline since it makes everything so much more interesting. I'm also happy to see that your sense of humour hasn't died either. I LOVED the Canas and Bartre parts.

Well, I'd love to chat more, but that's best left to PMs and such, rather than in a review. So, I wish you the BEST of luck for your next update!

Guess who. You wouldn't believe how long it took me to find a chapter I hadn't reviewed already.

This story has always been high on my list of favorites, but the last chapter you put up pushed it far above what I've come to expect from anyone on I imagine you are troubled by thousands of other things; maybe school is giving you problems, maybe your social life needs attention. But I wanted to give you a reminder of how great you were, and still are.

DO NOT view this as an ultimatum or mandate to write. DO NOT write until you have the will and inspiration needed to write well. DO NOT write if you can't spare the time or energy for it.

When all these conditions are avoided, and you feel ready, willing, and able to put something up, please do so. I'll be waiting, and so will everyone else.

what are you doing to poor Sain? my eyes they burn! great story

wow! Chapter 15 plz

o-o

Wow. You finally updated. o-0

After...*counts* about six and a half months.

o-o

Oh, and good thing you got my email. Felix kept reminding me and I had too much freetime. Stupid Felix. .

NO...

This story has become evil! Off of storyline is very, very bad! Fiora is acting like a female Sain, Wil has become a pervert of sorts, and Florina is acting even wierder then before!NO!

...Hold up, hold up. Did I say LynKent? I... didn't mean that! Kent is so...so wierd! A bloody hypocrite, too! KentFiora is so much more fun! They're both hypocrites. But then they'd have hypocritical kids... wait...

TaticianLyn is usually fun. I'm writing one of my own now. One of the funnest is HectorFarina. HAH! But I still can't make heads or tails of their support A. I still can't tell whether he's helping her with her homework or raping her. My friend tells me that he's helping her off her pegasus, but... whatever.

Wil you never stop torturing poor will? Wait... other way around, other way around. The poor guy's probably dying on the inside. As for WillFiora, it just don't add up. I was thinking more MeFiora...(Relax, I'm kidding. Sort of...)

Also, what the flux is a budgie?

Now, where was I? Ah yes...

NO...!

HEY! Long time no see! I'm glad that you seem to be over your writer's block! Since I'm not! Hahaha! -_-;;Yeahh, that's not funny, I know. But you know, after reading this, I'm starting to get my inspiration back! _~

Anyway... Good chapter! I adored the beginning, I thought it was really cute how Wil and Florina were acting around each other! WOW! That scene between Wil and Fiora was SO classic, but poor Florina. They were so close to admitting their feelings for each other too! I can just imagine what's going to happen between them once Wil catches up to her!

Ah yes, and my favourite part: When everyone ditches you to go after Florina. :) Hah, that line: "Where are all my units going!" Hilarious! Wow, it's going to be VERY interesting when Canas and Bartre (I just love these two! So much fun!) catch up to Elfaiya and Guy!

Well, I can't wait until your next update! So best of luck with that, and hopefully you'll be seeing updates from me too sometime soon!

Hey, I haven't read this story for so long so I've forgotten most of whose already in and whose not. Still that was an interesting twist with Will and Fiora. I like the random humour like Bartre eating Canas's dark runes lol. If Erk is around it would be pretty cool if he joined in (my favourite character you know). Anyways keep it up and update soon!

Green Paladin: All right, it's a good thing you uploaded a new chapter, or I would have never discovered this! Wow, a realistic Florina based pairing! Wow.

And there's no-one else I can think of who I want to join the hunt... I mean, you've already got Matthew, Canas (with Bartre - MEGA hilarity!), Guy... who else? Ah, I know! Wait... he's not there yet. Damn. Oh well, I can't think of anyone.

Green Blackguard: No critisisms today.

Green Paladin: Thank you, my morally-challenged companion. There is a lot about this story to like. And reading this has inspired me to have a go at characters I've been neglecting in my own story. (Time to break out the Canas Bartre interplay!) Oh, and I always appreciate a bit of random comedic violence. I would say 'poor Sain' but... it's very funny. Now I would normally add some shameless advertising at the end here... but that woudl sour the review. Good luck to you, in all that you do. Especially this.

Huzzah! He's back! ...and better than ever!

Great twist there, with Fiora falling on Wil. I certaintly never saw it coming. It's moving the story in a great new direction! Although it's a little strange how so many troops instantly started running after Wil, Florina, Fiora, and Elfaiya immediately. But don't listen to me about that; it's a great chapter of a great story.

Your writing style has definitely improved since your last update. I noticed your well-described battle scene with Wil. That was excellent! I hope we can see more of the same.

Incidentally, I've been working on the latest chapter of Plummet. I'm having a few issues with my social life right now, so it's coming slowly; but it should be up soon.

I'm sorry for the long review, but I'm ecstatic to learn that you've returned to your writing with renewed vigor. I hope that I will soon be able to do the same!

Good story! I'm just a reader (I write, but nothing submitted yet), but the story is one of the best (I nearly cried when I found out they can't have support). By the way, I think Lyn-Kent is somewhat boring. I swear, he has zero hormones (gets clouted on the back of head) Bugger! By the way, why not try GuyPricilla? It can be interesting (but it's always so GALLANT, no humor). Oh well. Thanks for writing this out, and please try to update soon!

(P.S. Keep Sain on the torture rack. It adds some slapstick humor [Who doesn't laugh? I'll tear em limb from limb!])

(P.P.S. What the... why does Kirby always show up in your reviews? Kirby abuse!:-) )