good story! write more!

OMIGOSH! This one had me cryin! Very good start, hope to see more from it. You seem to have everyone in character and everything. YOu just need a little work on keeping in tense. Take the advise from dustytyger and write it as if you were writing in a journal: past tense. Other than that, good job! :)

Wow... I'm speechless. Well, not really, but let me just say that the beginning was really good. You should definately write some more to that and that's an order! :P

wow! i really liked that, esp the twist at the end, totally unexpected!

i've always wanted to do something with betty's replacement but i'm not sure how to write it, so kudos on being the first!

one little thing you seem to have a little trouble with the tenses, i know it's harder in first person, took me forever to get, but it should be in past tense... hint write it like you write in a journal