I'm not a yaoi or mpreg fan but I LOVE this fic! XD There were times where feels wash over me and make me wanna curl up into a ball and I did cry, I could almost pass for a snot monster from hell. I cried, I laughed, I grinned and I scared my mother because I was doing all the above while clutching my phone. Sounds stupid and maybe even a little terrifying but you get the picture. XD

I love Oki and she's just so adorable! The pregnancy was hilarious (on Hiei's part) I wasn't expecting him to be the "mom", and the changes his body went through. Nearly died at that. X'D Thank you so so much for writing and sharing this story! You're one of the authors that could make me cry and write a story that could pull all of my heartstrings! So thank you for the wonderful read and I really am sad about the part where Keiko died. Why must you do that?! TTATT I know the risks and all but still. Thanks once again for writing and I'm really glad I found this fic! Cheers! X3

Good ending. No ending should be entirely happy I feel, otherwise it's like nothing happened at all, but at the same time no ending should be completely sad, entirely sad endings are to cheap and expected. So having Kurama and Hieis happiness cast against the backdrop of Yusukes struggle upon losing his wife in childbirth wis a good contrast, and a looming shadow of that cold have been that keept me on my toes.

A temporary birth canal seems a bit far fetched to me, considering that for him to have conceived with Kurama to begin with he would need somthing like a Cloaca that would have been linked to his uterus all along, a Cloaca would allow him to give birth naturally, assuming his pelvic passage is wide enough.

Also it seems odd to me that Kurama wouldn't know about Hieis body considering...well sex requires some knowledge of your partners nether region. XP

Aside from that I like this chapter, it's good to hear about there progress in real estate, also mentioning Heies developing breasts is a good addition, it's botherd me that so often a means to feed the baby is never mentioned, it feels artificial you know? So i'm really glad to know his body can accommodate lactation.

And lastly the thing I appreciate most about this chapter, is Hieis fear of giving birth, as well as his desire to live to see the child it was really touching, I feel like I was in Kuramas, shoes afraid for Hiei.

I like the theme of this chapter for two reasons the first being Hiei gaining a parental, figure at the same time as he's about to become a parent himself.

And the second becoz Shiori is my favorite character outside of the focus couple, and I'm quite taken with her relationship to the boys.

RIP Rui you big damn hero.

The reunion was great, gave me a bit of heartache.

"...There was no immediate repulsion, but there was no immediate acceptance either. Looking into his eyes, however, she could tell that he needed her support now."

BEST MUM EVER! I'm really liking how you wrote her, despite her smaller role she's just as there dimensional as Kurama or Hiei, realistically finding it a bit difficult to come to terms with her sons story but fully willing to deal with it for his sake. Spot-on full-marks!

Good god it's great to read a fic wear the characters have a sense of self worth,example Hieis anger at being left without aid for so long, instead of questioning himself. Also Kuramas mothers a good addition to the cast and so far I like how she comes off.

One thing though, the spliced in Japanese is a bit odd for me, I just feel like that when writing a story, despite what language the characters in your story are speaking, it's better to be consistent than insert random bits and peaces from other languages.

I like the idea the the elders put a curse on him, like an insurance policy should he survive the fall, as if they're not evil only paranoid and lacking in empathy, shall we say cold. see what I did there? XP

Having Hiei as the story's pregnant character was a good idea. Normally I don't bother reading mpreg, just becoz my immersion when reading is important to my enjoying the story, and normally I would find it difficult to believe, but I feel that due to his heritage he could easily be Intersex. And god knowes we need as many positive examples as we can get of Intersex persons. :)

And so the plot thickens. I like the side villain and how he managed to lure Kurama in.

I like how this chapter is tied to the previous one buy the missing sword a good example of chekhov's gun, and good pacing.

Also the tension between the two is well written, and being based on money trouble was a good decision, a very real world issue for a young couple

good work.

I don't think the theme needed to be anti-abortion. couldn't Hiei keep the pregnancy simply because he wanted to? I feel like it would actually fit his character.

I realise you're not writing perfect characters, there would be no point in writing without flawed characters, but as a feminist this chapter was a particularly difficult read, despite the quality of your work, which I must say is a notch above.

Now my second gripe with the chapter is the explanation given as to why Hiei and Kurama were able to conceive, I realise thay're demons and so the same norms and such don't apply, but I couldn't help feeling like it was a discredit to gay couples and barren couples.

I hope you don't feel like I'm ripping on you, the above observations are only my opinion and intended as helpful critiquing, given because I really do like this fic.

What I did like about the fic so far, is how well you captured their interactions, it feels natural like people communicate in real life, for example Hiei needing to get away to think things over in his own space, and how he was tiered and grumpy after being sick, also kurama going to the effort to make a nice dinner for Hiei, like he was trying to make the news of the pregnancy some how more acceptable to Hiei. Witch brings me to a second point, I really do approve of your decision to emphasis Hiei as a father considering Hiei identifies as male as far as gender gos, its refreshing in a slash fiction especially a slash fiction that includes mpreg. In other fics I've read I've found it very incongruous with my experience of characters if their to OOC. So for maintaining the integrity of the characters I consider this a real gem amongst the fiction I've read.

That's all for now, I'll leave more feedback in later chapters if I find anything ells to talk about, the good and the bad positive reinforcement is just as important as constructive criticism. :)

Wow, that was amazing. Probably the best Mpreg I've ever read in the YYH fandom. I applause you for that! There were just so many emotions throughout this story.

aww this was a great fic! very well written and the emotions were nailed! Shiori kicking Kurama into gear and storming Spirit World was my favorite part - i feel like she is often overlooked, so i really loved your picture of her!

great job!

:)

WOW! I just read your story, and it was awesome! Finally, Hiei is the. . .well. . . the mom. Almost all the other stories have Kurama as the mom, and i think the're great, but Hiei seems more like it. Anyways, there's just one problem with your story. Couldn't Yukina have gotten Kurama there? She would probably know how to get there, wouldn't she? Well, signing out!

Wow,birthing is a comparable pain to the Jagan.I have new respect for mothers ,I can't help but laugh imagining Hiei in the "Birthing Pose",and Yukina screamin at him to"PUSH".(and the fact I'm lisening to the LeekSpin isn't helping much )lol,"I believe you hold that title now"Shiori 's a cute name,BTW.:3