Wow, what an excellent piece of fanfiction you have here! The ending was sad, but obviously necessary (and we know the canon story it ties into ends on a happier note, so that helps make the ending more acceptable for a reader like me lol). I think you did a great job of portraying how things might have gone down to lead up to Cloud taking off on Tifa and the kids. You did a wonderful job with the characterization of the characters too. I loved the way you wrote Cloud and Tifa's interactions. They were very sweet and cute but not sugar coated and cavity inducing, which is great b/c I can't see those two ever being like that. You did both of their characters and their relationship/feelings for each other justice :)

For the most part, your writing was very good too as the story flowed nicely and there wasn't an abundance of grammar mistakes or typos. There were two rules to writing in English that you did not follow properly though, and those two rules had to do with writing story dialogue. First, anytime you are going to have a character speak and then putting something after it, like he said, or she cried etc. you have a to put a comma at the end of the sentence, not a period (of course, if it's a question you'd use a question mark and not a comma, or you could use an exclamation point as well. The comma really only applies to a statement). For example, "You're back early," Tifa said. I noticed you always used a period. Though it didn't make the story unreadable by any means, it was a little distracting since it's not correct.

Second, when addressing someone by their name, you need to put a comma after the name if it's at the beginning, after the word right before the name if it's at the end, and both before and after the name if it's in the middle of the sentence. For example: "Cloud, your dinner is ready." or "You're home early today, Cloud." or finally, "Oh, Cloud, I'd love to go for a walk."

Those were the only serious mistakes I saw repeatedly. Sorry if someone else already pointed that all out to you, I just wanted you to know in case you didn't. Anyway, thanks for writing this nice "filler" story. You did a wonderful job overall :)

I screamed "ARRGGH!" at the end. I knew it was coming, but the way you delivered it was awesome!

This is so sad, and so close (spot on) to the reasons why Cloud left that are clarified in Advent Children Complete I'm quite impressed (unless a lot more information was available than I thought in 2005).

The interactions between Cloud and Tifa are sweet a lot of the time and felt shy, like it should for them. The pain at the end made it worse. You made me sigh. (I love the angst!)

you're good. better than good. you're going to make me beg for a sequel. -_-

SERIOUSLY I NEED A SEQUEL OF THIS ARGHH

whoa. i like how you wrote Cloud not being able to feel Tifa's hands anymore :O

an geostigma interruption RIGHT in an aww-worthy moment makes the statement more powerful than it should be if it's put in another line. x)

love it ( Y)

I love this! but this chap is my favorite. The pie moment is so sweet!

I love overprotective Cloud.

I love sweet Cloud

But most of all...

I love in-love-with-Tifa Cloud!

spectacular.

you're just too great

O_O

the last sentence was heart wrenching for me, but luckily we all know how the movie ended right? if not i would have demanded for the sequelXD

GREAT JOB!

SEIROUSLY!

okay - you got tears out of me on this one. Cripes. Again so sweet and beautiful and sad I can't even complain. You're really winding Cloud and Tifa so deeply into my heart on this one. I love that he was there for her, I love the gut punch impact of 'Denzel saw, he knows', I loved the whispered confession no one heard, I love the three in the bed with Cloud - protector, strength and lost one - kneeling by it. I love it all. Break my heart and I'm thanking you for it. Why aren't you writing books?

you really are good at the heart wringing, aren't you? And this was so sweet and beautiful and sad I can't even complain. It was a pleasure to read. The kids, the laughter - the nightmare, the comfort she gave and he accepted/needed from her - the not ready to let go... nobody handles this section of the FFVII story as delicately and perfectly as you do. Amazing job - you're just blowing me away.

and... bang! it hits. But I love the way you handled it - Cloud's reactions were all so spot on. any sick persons reactions really but for cloud even more so. And yet, at this point, there's still an innocence to his reactions and reasoning. He doesn't get it yet and that's normal and I'm glad you included it. He's still padded by the good 'happily ever after' and not realizing yet that there's no 'ever after' to the happily. Wow - you're an awesome writer.

knew it - you're really working on that breaking my heart bit with that second to last line, aren't you? Wonderful chapter all the same. 'traitors'. That was great - he's adored and yet not feared in his own house. Which, I never got to thank you for in the first chapter - love the way you had them have Cloud stay. Anyway, back to present chapter - fun, light heartedness, family togetherness and mischief, and the adults getting to play like the kids they never got to be.

ah, Denzel's arrival. And I loved the way you 'bonded' the kids. Marlene having to impress Denzel so he'd understand just how cool Tifa and Cloud are. She's a smart little cookie, Marlene is and I love the way she circumvents the adults attempts at keeping the dangerous stuff safe from her but knows better then to touch anything. The 'mushy stuff' well - I'm glad its apparently takes a while. Cloud and Tifa deserve snuggle time.

his new best friend is a five year old! I can't tell you how much I ADORE this chapter - a stand alone best all by itself! How many? its sweet and silly and protective and possessive while trying not to be and - and just about wonderful. I love how Cloud is worrying over Tifa and how Marlene's in cohoots. This is just about the Best Chapter Ever and I almost want to stop reading right now just because I know things won't stay this perfect for cloud for long. Marlene is such a jewel. 'that's my girl'

I'm OCD about my family not locking their doors at night too. and - ah good, I love the 'sleeping (actually sleeping) in the same bed together' fics. The snow and mentioned their home town and the kids huddling in the shelter of the bar all just seemed to make it that much warmer and more intimate and safe feeling.

chapter 1 - dang it - you're going to break my heart, aren't you?