This story is real good

I really want to like this story because I think the overall premise is good, but there are quite a few elements that are holding it back. While I don't mean this to be an indictment of your skills as a writer since we are all continuously improving, this work so far is sophomoric at best. In seeking to create such a grand story, the characters are left thoroughly underdeveloped, the timeline is confusing, and several plot points are plainly nonsensical. With Anakin and Obi Wan both alive and on the same side, there is no need to split the twins up as both Jedi are more than capable of shielding their presences. Anakin and Padme's reunion shows none of the passion present in the movies or TV series, and I find it difficult to believe that Anakin would have nothing to say regarding Leia being sent to serve in the Imperial Senate. The reasoning for her serving in the Senate is faulty as well since the Senators have no political power. I can respect wanting to retain many of the elements from canon, but you should be less afraid to create a truly alternate universe. Rather than focusing on moving the plot along so quickly, focus on developing the characters. As it stands, I have no connection to the characters and no emotional investment in the story.

The End was trash, the Rest was very good. Sorry hate bitter Endings.

Im dropping this sorry but splitting up a family is just wrong like this, and neither anaki nor padme would support this

Yj

*Clap Clap Clap*

*Thunderous Applause*

(For the end of Chapter 16 with Mon Mothma)

I think I know who the empire spy is...

That’s what I’m talking about Luke! WooHoo!

Luke Skywalker NOOOOOOOO

Expel him? From what? A order burnt to the ground? xD

YOu should do a sequel, this is a great story, only I wouldn't drag out the fight with the Empire out so much. Otherwise you will have to write more sequels to get in the other events that come after, the war with the Vong, the Dark Nest, Jacen's fall to the dark side and of course Abeloth.

I love this story. Keep up the wonderful work you do. I look forward to the sequel.

I really like the name Marx Karl! Hopefully the Rebellion will turn the Republic into a democratic socialist state.

This is a beautifully written piece! I love how you still decided on Anakin's death, turning to the dark side or not, it was still his destiny. After three years since updating this, I hope you still decide on posting/publishing he sequel. I want to know what happens to the galaxy now as well as the Skywalker family.

I love this story so far, hope for more great chapters.