Pretty please make more of this!

It was really good in the beginning,for about 10-15 chapters but after that it became a bit repetitive and too annoying.I only finished this because I don't stop reading halfway.
The Harry in the beginning was portrayed well,but slowly this story just became boring.

This story had prospect, decent writing and interesting storytelling especially in the beginning, dark and broody but still captivating. But in the end Harry's endless self-wallowing and self-pitying gets really tiresome chapter after chapter, so I'm stopping at chapter 18, because nothing is really changing. Not to mention the surrounding characters borderline actions and behavior from humor and camaraderie to overt hostility, violence and suspicion, "make up your mind!" All in all disappointing the stories doesn't go anywhere except around this overbloated self deprecation. And please change it from adventure to drama or and angst instead, much more fitting and doesn't give one false expectations on said narrative.

Hihi :) Harry says the Prewett twins are rubbish instead of dead. Anyway, if Harry isn’t sober, then I’m so dragon right now because of the confinement. Funny. If it had been like that in the books, they would have been twice as successful.

Está um pouco sem lógica. Como harry estaria conectado com o voldermot do AU se não ganhou a cicatriz nesse AU? Ele não têm os poderes do Tom desse AU, mas do outro Tom, o nosso Tom.

This was so enjoyable. I'm sorry it was never finished, I'd like to have seen how this Harry won out. There were so many funny lines and I liked the way you hid things from everyone. Hugely fun story, thank you for writing it.

This chapter always gets to me. The feels are real!

Okay, first of all I ...hate it.
Yes, I hate how Harry was always miserable :'(
He didn't have an ally and everyone was throwing caution at him!

At first, I was really mad at everyone yes, even to Harry for being such a wolf (less than everyone ofc).
And what did you mean by they're not welcoming him when they joked around and start pranking him?
But then the Marauders (and Lily) wanted to keep Holly and Rose from him, tho obviously not succeding.
And I see how prejudiced they were to him, being dark and all. So I see your point. But still, there are some scene when their personalities seems to 'close' for someone who clearly wary of someone else. Like the situation in the med bay for instances. I just- for the love of my cat- can't get how they become so hostile from the humor scene a few minutes before. It's like they warmed up but then suddenly remember who it was in front of them.
Well, but I admit it was getting better now. I think maybe because I can finally see their confusing approach to 'Collins'.

Other than that, the changing pov is a bit confusing, but not overly so. It'd be nice if you can add some space or some [... ] to differentiate the start of change pov or time tho.

Lastly. Like I said, I hate how Harry is so miserable, but I just can't seem to stop reading. Your writing is a bit muddled in some scenes, but the humor sometimes made me smile. I just love them, even though they should be more mature than that, whats with war and all x,D.
Annnnd finally! After you made Sirius (sorry, was it Jack?) appeared, I'm sooo happy!
I love how Harry finally have someone for him, I really do. And how you wrote that scenes- simply beautiful ;-;

I know that this fic is one of an old ones, and I don't know if you'd be reading them, but thanks for sharing.
Hope to see more of your works someday

3
AppleLeaf

Reading

The story has plenty of potential but the writing is just so rough that I can't push on any further. But hey, you can only get better by doing it.

This is a very well written if thoroughly depressing story. I had hopes once Jim showed up that Harry would have support and some glimmer of family, however that last chapter with Dumbledore and the order doing what they did… That was truly depressing. It was nevertheless very engaging though.

he is not have much luck at these small things

That was just nice to read; I particularly liked the parts with Luna

This was a lot of fun; Harry, Snape and Minerva have an intereesting dynamic as a trio and I like the passive aggressive baiting between them

Idk why Harry is so legit selfish. Like. Wtf.