saw ginny potter and yup thats it for me goodbye

good story

Yeah! Ginny died. I always like it when that happens, especially if she's married or dating Harry. I don't like them as a couple, so it's nice to see her gone.

Chris's battle was great. I hope he makes it since he's so young.

You are missing a scene between Lily and Chris. They needed to have a conversation. What Jennifer did was stupid, and way too much time in advance.

Don't like the Jennifer/Wyatt/Hope/Chris/Emma bit at all. I do like the idea of Chris having a child with Bianca and raising that child. Or even a child he raises as his own, but too many OC's being too important, just kills it and complicates the situation.

I'm a little sad that Hope isn't his and Bianca's together, but I can see him loving any child from Bianca.

I'm sorry they couldn't save Bianca. Not very Harry Potterish to not try to save an innocent in some way even against all odds.

I really enjoyed your story, I couldn't put it down,I hope you will make a part 2. Pierce July 25,2015

thanks for the captivating story! it was very well enjoyed!

Um, actually Harry was born in 1980, not just the 1980's, while Chris was born in November of 2004, not the year 2005.
November 16, 2004, to be exact!

WHAT is Leo's problem?
Why is he such a jerk to poor Chris?

(frowns)
Why is Leo an abusive jackass?

This is absolutely excellent.

I like your story, but I think that you should have expanded it because there are some things that don't make sense (because they weren't explored enough) and some things just seem rushed. For instance, I really have a hard time understanding Leo's reaction to Chris after he killed Wyatt. I understand that Leo favored Wyatt above Chris, but I just cannot believe that he would blatantly treat Chris as if he doesn't care about him at all. Because, while he may have always favored Wyatt, I do believe that Leo did, on some level, love Chris. Wyatt has glad to be rid of the evil when he died, but Leo had absolutely no way of knowing this, and even if he did, Wyatt had tortured and murdered every other member of their family. How was Leo able to overlook that but absolutely unable to overlook that Chris killed Wyatt? Chris did what he did to save innocents while Wyatt had murdered his family under the influence of evil. I really wish I could understand that a little better because I understand that Leo would be upset with the loss of his firstborn child, but... didn't he see that Wyatt was there anymore?

I also think that some things were very rushed. For example, you added an epilogue, which is good because it did tie up some loose ends. But it also added a sense of trying to tie the story up way too neatly and in doing so made the ending seem extremely rushed. The biggest issue I had was with Lily and Chris. While I don't mind the pairing, it came absolutely out of nowhere. There was only one instance in the story (before epilogue pt 2) that he told the readers that Lily had a crush on Chris. Half of the story was told from Chris' perspective. The epilogue tells us that Chris had known about Lily's feelings. We never saw that. At all. All of the talk about the awkwardness that they had wasn't shared with the readers because it told of previous encounters that we had never gotten to experience for ourselves.

Overall, I think you are a fantastic writer. I think your biggest area of improvement would be to make sure that the length of the story doesn't hinder the story. This story could have been ten times better if it had been at least twice as long, and the story was good to begin with.

just wondering... is there a particular reason why none of chris' family was in any of the safe houses? i find it slightly odd that wyatt was able to capture and torture his entire family so quickly but didn't break into any of the safe houses to do it. overall, i really like your story. you are a wonderful writer... one of the best i've read on .