Lol. Man, what the hell was that XD

BIZZAAR! HILARIOUS! So far AU that its barely worth calling a Ranma fic! Not bad though!

Ok yeah I agree with ya on the spelling and grammer. BUT the story itself is fast and furious. Just the way I like'em. And I have to say awesome story. And I hope one day it's finished cause well DON"T LEAVE IT THERE! come on I mean oi don't do that to me. Not sure if I could take it.

But anyhow damn good story. thanks.

I just stumbled onto your page here and I'm glad I did. I read this version of biker 1/2 a long time ago and still re-read it from time to time. I enjoy it every time. The story is so like and at the same time unlike the original canon, you've managed to capture the feel of all the characters while taking them on wildly different tangents.

I noticed in your bio that you believe that this fic can only be found in the RAAC archive and here. That's not true, the site that I originally read it at is still up, it hasn't been updated in like 4 years but it's still there. Has a lot of other really good works that can't be found anywhere else either. If you're curious the address is asynjor dot com. Looking forward to more of the rewrite, keep up the good work.

Kuro_Neko

good to see another chapter clocked in. fast and formatted in an easy to read format? you rock. i'm pretty sure that battle scenes are hard to write what with the lack of helpful butt whooping visuals but i'm happy to say that yours kept me engaged. particularly curious to see if the other Tendo sisters turn out to be wolves. keep up the good work. (i apologize belatedly for my lack of capitalization).

i'm surprised there aren't more reviews actually. i find the story really interesting (have always been big on the alternate universes) and even though cussing i don't care for, i understand it comes with the territory of the culture and i'm cool with that. the only problem i do have is the punctuation problems of the layout, mostly referring to scene breaks. the only way i can tell that the scene has changed is that all of a sudden a person that i don't think was there before is talking with another new person. hopefully you can fix that up somehow in upcoming chapters? i of course really hope there will be upcoming chapters.

Oh, it will be very interesting what you do with the old story! To think, I read it not... two months ago or something like that. :)

For staters I wrote Review #1, for some reason logged me out before I submitted my review. *shrugs*

First, I've noticed the lack of fight scenes in this grouping of chapters. I thought the whole Ratvespa thing would have a little more depth than, shoot shoot run, maybe it might be of importance later but as of now it's a disappointment.

Second, You needn't have Ranma explain his bike over and over agian. While the Bike talk is cool I find rereading the same lines over and over a tad tedius.

Third, it's probably FFnetscrewing with you but I have to point out that the lack of punctuation makes my eyes bleed.

Well there's my piece.

Catch you later.

Thanks, fellas.

This isn't a re-write - it's the original. I've got up to halfway through book 2 on the PC and I'll be gradually posting it over the next month or so. I also have a pile of other stuff on my iMac, which is currently ill. The files are on a perfectly healthy external hard-drive, but I basically need to jack up the external hard drive and run a new Mac underneath.

I intend to post the old book 1 here, then start re-writing. And this is going to remain a Ranma Akane Shampoo bisexual triangle relationship fic, partially because I regard other people's negative opinions of me to not be my problem.

_ Glad to see this again i haven't read this in forever not since people stopped using really actively using the NEWS servers. ah well. _-

You're bringing this back? Sweet. Can't wait to read the wrewrite, i read the original so much its engraved on my brain.

Nice to see an update. I remember the story pretty well from when I read it some seven odd years ago on the TASS archive, though I'll probably re-notice a few things since I haven't reread the thing in over a year. Oh you won't remember me because I just don't like to write mail E or otherwise, now it you have a fequented forum I could give you better feedback.

If you've noticed screws with your formating, much like most archives, that's normal (they prefer it to be done in, blah, open office) so if you want it to look extra nice try, try agian. I hope Stacy's proposed "Fanfic Press" starts up soon to be the Linux to ff{dot]net's Windows ME.

Now you've been gone for a bit so let me clue you in on the "scene". The current set of jokers who parade, the most, around are strict anti-Akane and being the narrow minded a-holes they are will bash you for putting Akane and Ranma together or just outright ignore your fic. On the other side of the fence is the stricter pro-Akanes who are just as bad if not worse. *Shrugs* Everyone has an opinion, you just have to ignore them. Your fic may take off with the current crowd of sit in obscurity lauded by diehards (like me) do to the fact that outside of a few damn good authors (Jeffrey Vasquez user id #: 72474, obsidian-fox user id #: 618405, Sunshine Temple user id #: 90308, Beer-monster user id #: 64230, ect.) they don't get alot of epic level stories around here (most probably coun't handle The Shadow Chronicles).

The thing I noticed immediately about your story, now that I've reread it, is that the story moves too quickly, in about two maybe three days Ranma is already in love, planning a wedding and had a few dozen revelations reguarding love and sex. Now while I can see one or two of these things happening in such a length of time it simply is not believable to have all of them happen at once. I know that your stories' writting and pacing has very noticable improvements in the next few chapters but the first few chapters of your fic could use a minor rewrite to draw out the story and work on discriptions (not on the bikes they are spot on but on the scenary nad the like).

Second, you never really elaborated on Gary's part in the story before I'd like to see how he impacts the story more. Like the fact that because of Gary, Kuno knows when he's defeated? When did this happen? Why? Gives us some details so Gary looks less like a Mary Sue and instead a more rounded character.

Third, you should watch out for hanging quotes.

EX:

"A fuckin' panda"

"Wh-wh-h-HOW"

"Magic. Shit, huh? It's alright fer some - like Ryoga - but it's shit"

They are poor taste and it lends more impact to your story to be without them.

Now that I've pointed that out I might as well also mention Ozzallos's - Rules To Writting Fanfics, which can be found on his profile (user id #: 891127). It is worth a read to find if you're doing something wrong before it becomes a problem.

PS You almost did "Metroanime's" name correctly it's Gregg (with two Gs) Sharp, oh and his user ID # is 5209.