You need to do the 6th chapter I wanna know what's to come between the two brothers and Bakura.

how could you just stop right there?

You know what things like that are called? cruelty. a fantastic story that just HAS to stop when its about to switch POV. I could cry. Really,I could.

Awesome! That was great I love gow mariks always making malik uncomfortable! Lol anyway terrific job and you should definitely add a lemon!

Oh my god, this is so good. I can't wait until you start working on it again. 3

can you update please~?

I am deeply saddened this story is discontinued! I have a habit of taking up my old interests after they're no longer popular..I should be used to this by now I'd think.

Anyway, I have to commend you. Brilliant! So often fanfiction is either stupid and horribly written or it's overdone with 5 adjectives and adverbs per sentence..you're not like that. You embody what I think fanfiction SHOULD be and you CONNECT with the reader while displaying your ability to write with good word choice, not letting dialogue lead the story, well-developed and kept personalities, everything.

Above all that that you mix pairings in such a way that we get a taste of everything without the characters being whores is fantastic. You also keep Malik from being a pansy-ass. Often I see authors dumb down Malik's character trying so hard to make the Marik/Malik relationship identical to the stereotyped Bakura/Ryou..you don't do that and that alone makes this story a million times better than most. I am at a loss of words..I can't even compose a well thought out review because..I'm just in awe. Never have I seen an AU written in such brilliance.

I need to comment in my disjointed thoughts my absolute favorite piece of your story: Marik. Often times he's not made insane CORRECTLY. You make him insane in such a way that implies the past you've set up (him having been hospitalized and gotten better). You can tell he's waiting to resurface and I was dying for the moment he would. You explain his past, he's incestuous (an utter disregard for societal norms is VERY common in this archetype), you've hinted at murder, how he talks so freely about the customer spilling coffee on himself, the twisting of Bakura's hand in the first intimate scene in chapter 2, the comment in this chapter about chopping Malik up and eating him himself...just..EVERYTHING. It's deliberate and wonderful. You write with a certain grace that is not over thought and seems to come quite naturally to you. A lot of authors here in ANY genre have a lot to learn.

Fanfiction is meant to have a distinct style. We're not writing award-winning novels and no one should try to mimic Clive Barker's excessive need for descriptive words..fanfiction is SUPPOSED to be amateur..and you do it perfectly. That is not an insult, it is a true skill to master and you've gone above and beyond. i hope there's more I can read even if this story is discontinued. Who knows maybe one day you'll come back to this?

yep, needs a little MalikxMarik fondling..lol

so far we have RyxMal are at least attracted in a one way, BakuxMal..yumm, YMxMal.. I like it :P, and YMxBaku.. yumm.. lol

I'm just excited to be a part of it. squeal*

Ugh! You have to put a new chapter up soon! You've completely sucked me into the story! I beg you, and...if you do...there may be a cookie in it for you.

Your diligent reader,

Alec S. Hoffman

Oh NO! tell me you're not intending on leaving it here? I really got interested in those cases, and the suspense is getting to me! the aura is awesome and I don't have a clue on what's going to happen or why Marik accompanied Malik home, or even what's gonna happen since they are alone XD

You have to keep this up! I love it!

Oh my gosh! Marik is so VIOLENT! I understand his brother: how could anyone right in their mind want to ahem with him? seriousely!

and interesting story really!

I enjoyed reading this chapter! now, I feel more familiar with the characters, and they are really interesting! even Marik.

I hope that Ryou will have a bigger role to lay in the future chapters XD

mind games! aha! I like that!

and the last comment was funny: Don't trip on your way out LOL

cool

Hey! I like this story and everything in it! it's just gonna be awesome XD!

Awesome story! Please update soon! :D