I do like this AU you've conjured...it's very well done.

Fantastic story! I loved how you wrote Ianto a family background. He always seemed like a family man to me, and you were able to bring him to life.

I hope you don't mind, but there were a few phrases I picked up on that sounded odd to me. Sorry I only wrote down the ones in chapter 5 and 6, but I don't think there were many before that. _ That's always a good thing.

chapter 5:

'he couldn't bear to think how long Ianto had been stood there ' - had been standing there' Or 'had stood there'

'They were just sat there' - 'they were just there' Or 'They just sat there'.

chapter 6:

'startled and more than a little worried to find Gwen stood in the doorway' - 'to find Gwen standing in the doorway'

'when I need them most them seem to be failing me."' - 'they seem to be...'

'and Jack dreads to think how long he's been stood out here,' - 'he's been out here' Or 'he's been standing out here' Or 'he's stood out here'

'Jack was lain awake' - 'Jack lay awake'

'Owen was however keen to point out the word failed.' - Owen was, however, keen to point out the word 'failed'. (commas and other punctuation)

'Gwen left reluctantly after her and Jack argued over...' - 'after she and Jack...'

Overall, a brilliant story. Thank you for writing it. )

Aww, great story! The characterization and writing is excellent, and I love the other side of Ianto that you show here. Good job!

TheNotedMusician

This is just brilliant. I can almost taste Ianto's pain over the loss of his mam, you've made it so real, so palpable. When he saw Jack die down in the sewers, I think I actually heard his heart break!

You have such a gift for turning the emotions of your characters into living beings of their own. It's just amazing. And this is one of your best works involving anguish, loss, as well as past and future happiness.

Don't know who's shedding more tears here, me or Ianto. The last bit just killed me - the innocence of children, before the world destroys them.

I read this story like 2 years ago had it bookmarked on my computer then it died on me and finally found it again tottaly worth reading )

Good conclusion.

The last few scenes could have used a little more transition text, but good stuff overall. Thanks for sharing.

This is sweet and fairly realistic.

Ah, and here I thought it might be some kind of memorial for Lisa. The mam thing was a surprise. Nicely dramatized so far.

Very nicely written! And well constructed. Jack and Ianto were well written and the development of their relationship and friendship grew naturally and slowly. I also liked his sister and nephew and the cultural bits you added, even though I didn't understand all of them.

I especially liked "Jack watched as ash was picked up by the wind, tumbling and turning like a kite free from it’s tether." Very evocative and the whole scene left me crying.

Keep writing!

a very moving and sweet story. _

I am so late for work, but this was the sweetest, warmest story that I've read in a long time. I LOVED the Jones fmily dynamic and Jack realizing that there is more to life - even an eternal one. Great writing, byt eh way. Now I REALLY need to get going.

Darque

Great story! I love domestic Jack and have very weird images of him in different types of aprons now. I'm glad that they are finally getting together! Keep up the great work!

I enjoyed reading this! Good work!