This is really good.

To knower of random facts, Vivian is actually a girl. She was NEVER a boy. My friend SleepingBeautyRocks had looked it up, and it said that all of the shadow sirens: Vivian, Beldam and Marilyn are ALL girls.

Well, well, well. This was quite good. I liked how you put the Shadow Queen's dialogue in bold. Nice job!

I really like this! This was a good fanfic!

Awesome! I could picture everything in my head so perfectly, and I haven't played the final battle in a long time! You oughta think about writing with me, we'd make awesome stuff that's for sure.

As I read Shadow queen-chapter:1 i could see everything in my mind. i saw the shadow queen i can see her hands i can hear her screaming. I also could feel the love Vivan had for mario. I could feel hoe peach didn't know. I once saw this walkthrough on Youtube, everthing was the same only mario wasn't sabose to talk:)

and i liked it that he did. he said the things he would say if he could talk. You are a great athour and mabe next you could do the Ligi's mansion? it be funny if you did the last battle and saving mario. :-)

YOu do realize vivian was a boy but got censored in certain places into seeming like he was a girl and changed all hes into shes and hers.

Man, I totally remember this from the game. She was very hard to beat, but Bonetail was even harder than her! I'm not a fan of Mario x Vivian but they are two of my favourite characters. What was the title of the video you watched on Youtube? I wanna watch it for myself. I'll be doing something like that one day, but it is a songfic. It is also a bit of a oneshot as well. I'm listening to "I'll Stand By You" by Girls Aloud right now as I'm typing this review, it is one of my most favourite songs in the list and the song of the songfic. The fic stars the main females of the game: Peach, Goombella, Flurrie, Vivian and Ms. Mowz. They will sing in the songfic, singing their own parts. Sometimes, they will sing together. "I'll Stand By You" reminds me of the final battle with the Shadow Queen 'cause of the lyric, "Take me in, into your darkest hour". In a way, it reminds me of how the demon takes the whole world into its darkest hour. Read the summary of the songfic on my profile to know information about it. There are some grammar mistakes in there as well as you spelt the villain's name wrong. It's "Grodus" not "Grodius".

Your story looks like something straight from the game script! It's very accurate, despite all those mistakes. The story is great but not awesome, no offense. But hey, everyone makes mistakes and nobody's perfect. So we gotta learn things from our mistakes. Everyone is in character and everything seemed to be accurate. You should give "I'll Stand By You" a listen when you watch the music video. Just search for it on Youtube. When I have time, I'm gonna watch the latest music videos from my favourite bands, Girls Aloud and Sugababes, which were "Denial" and "Can't Speak French" which were the singles from the newest albums, "Change" and "Tangled Up".

I hope you'll do more of this and hopefully your grammar will improve and your spelling. I'm going to use this as inspiration for my upcoming songfic, "I'll Stand By You". For now, I'm gonna go to play either Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door or Super Paper Mario.

It was okay, I guess. Truthfully, I only read it because it had Vivian in it, which is rich enough for my blood. Only complaints were some characters and typos. They aren't flurries, they're punies. And Grodus is spelled Grodus. Typos and that carp aside, it was good.

*applaud*

Well, I must say - I enjoyed this, it was very well written, and I can't think of much to say... Coz it was THAT good! )

Hoping to hear more from you.

- LuigiGirl-22