Chapter one: I like this
Chapter two: Ooh dreams
Chapter three: Oh you cheeky bugger. Lily's mother discreetly telling Lily exactly what's going to happen in her future. Well played and written
Chapter four: Oh god. She didn't... Oh god...
Chapter five: Oh my holy fuck.

Seriously Dude... This made me cry, smile, and just... wow. You have the characters so right and everything about it I love Wow. I can't say anything else. When I stumbled on this piece I thought it might be another boring story about Bella and Lily getting off but... Jeez... This is a masterpiece. The plot line is brilliant and I bet you're glad you have that awesome fiancée (Or are you married now hm?) to give you more ideas and stuff because you made me cry. Not easy to do I'll be honest (Though this may have something to do with my strong feelings of empathy and sympathy towards fictional characters). Again: Awesome story, really... wow... and I love this. And I will not click the favourite story box and the favourite and follow author boxes because this... This was wonderful.

Most people, when telling the back story of Lily Evans and James Potter, make a happy, light tale.

You took the story and made it begin before, with Lily breaking, and you changed it all.

It will never be THE version for me, but you certainly did make me feel sad for these people that I do not recognize.

Oh my God. This is... Just... Wow. Wow. WOW.

Your portrayal of Bellatrix is chilling. (My heart is still thumping fast.) She's scary, unstable, but in that subtle manner that is her trademark. Gives me goosebumps. And it makes a lot of sense, somehow... And your take on the reason Lily finally accepted James is very original, scary, and creepy. But brilliant. And the fact that you managed to make this story canon-compliant is just... Wow. Wow.

Gods, I am at a loss for words.

Perfect grammar, spelling etc, too. Every word seems to knot my guts further. You don't waste a word, do you? It's almost poetic. And the last line was a killer, brilliant. I love how you contrasted your beginning and ending. Your portrayal of Lily doesn't really appeal to me, but I find it interesting, something new. And the way Lily thinks, denying and sort of self-destructing, is so incredibly human so she's more... Three dimensional? Something like that.

This is chillingly beautiful, raw and organ-wrenching (seriously, my heart stuttered, and my guts clenched several times). Wow. Bloody brilliant.

How interesting. :)

This is the hottest chapter of any story I've ever read ever and it is amaaaaaazing. I love how your writing gets a little foggy and confusing when Lily's mind gets lost and overwhelmed. It's soooooooo hot and perfect... I love it...it's the best thing I've ever read so far haha

I liked this and I agree that it can be seen as canon compliant. Admittedly it does make me reconsider canon to a degree but I think that's a sign of strong characterisation rather than the writing being out of character. We know so little about Lily in canon, I think it's realistic to expect that there is so much more than the fiery redhead who died for her son. This conceivably fits and is different from the approach normally seen.

Well done, I really liked it.

This is one of the most amazing stories I have ever read. I never review either I just thought you should know that this is truly a work of art, I really think it captures every character perfectly. And it was enthralling! Truly... Truly bravo to you x

Well written review? Impossible, as my mind is so close to /speechless/. This whole thing is just so wrong and right at the same time, which probably sounds dumb, but I can hardly ever find well written yuri and this is so beyond it and me and poor Lily, mm? She didn't realise who Bellatrix was until she was in too deep.

You have a nice style in that it's very snarky and human and hauntingly intense. It works very well here, makes the whole story that much more powerful.

Nice work. You're inspirational.

Ok, I have to admit that at first I didn't really like this very much- I've never been a fan of Lily and all the parenthesis were throwing me off a bit, but then I started to get into it and I really liked the way you used them.

I liked this version of a young Bellatrix- already sadistic and dark and cruel and how Lily doesn't really realize this until it's too late and she's broken. The scene with her and James really made me feel for them both.

As for my favourite part, I think it's definitely the whole Snape scene, especially:

"Lily - "

She glares at him, suddenly furious. "Don't," she hisses. What goes unsaid is: You cut your ties and chose your side and - and you chose, and what you chose was not me.

Thanks for sharing D

dang. That is really sad but really cool at the same time...i just dont know what to make of this...i know its good but...there is just something about it...

beautifully written, every detail of lily's thoughts was great. it was a bit dark and bleak for me, and the whole "i'm dumping you because you don't put up a fight anymore" thing was predictable, but i still really liked this. :]

"It's all a game, lovely."

My favourite line. Snape and James make quite lovely supporting characters in this, more so because of the background that you give in "gesellschaft." Gaah, I hate how I can't underline/italicize. It seems almost sinful. : (

Thank you for sharing.

~Kat

"Bellatrix sees what she wants and takes it, and if what she wants isn't perfect yet, she'll make it. She is too good at mind games, and the psyche is so easily manipulated."

Totally forgot about this line. I was thinking about it last night after I read it. It's very powerful.

I think this is one of my favorite stories of yours. (Don't get me wrong, I haven't found one yet that I haven't adored.)

The writing style you use, particularly poignant in this piece, is so raw and intense. Your words are almost like a poem that's completely true and honest to the feelings and emotions brought on in humans. The very darkest parts are the very best, with the words eating away at your heart like acid, compelling the story to have a drive that takes away your breath.

I especially liked the use of parenthesis and repetition in this piece, and how it brought to the point certain feelings and themes. They gave the reader an idea as to what you were getting at.

Apart from the structure, you have beautiful characterization. You give these characters that have practically no background information in the first place a life and a persona. In the shortness of your story compared to many books, you went more in depth into the way the characters were built than a lot of novels do.

As for my favorite line... hmm... there are so many lusciously lovely lines. Especially spoken by the twisted lips of Bellatrix. "It's all a game, lovely." For some reason, that short, little line sticks in my head because I can so CLEARLY visualize the lips moving into those words and burning Lily through the core.

I hope to one day aspire to write as eloquently as you do. I commend you once again for a stunning piece of literature.

amazing! very good how did you come up with that?