Brilliant. That was the first word that came to my mind, while reading this story. Beautiful and really sad, painful. But in the end also heartwarming. Thank you!

I really liked this. I like how you had John silently there, always looking out for the brothers even when they didn't know it. And the bit that he gave the lead on Roy...totally plausible. i can't imagine him or believe him completely ignoring Dean's plight in that episode.
I was really disappointed how the show didn't really expand enough on his love for Sam and Dean, he obviously loved them dearly. Or worse, how the recent seasons increasingly portray him negatively.
He wasn't the best parent, yeah he wasn't always there for them and yeah they didn't grow up normal and or very healthy. But I've never liked when fans disregard that John loved them, in his own broken way.
So thanks for this. Its nice to read a story where someone portrays John as being there in the background of their troubles, even if they couldn't see him. Its kinda like God. We don't always see God.

You are really good. I am enjoying your stories!

Wow, this one is especially touching. Love the way you showed them here, very believable, and also their Dad's journal showing up. It shocked them, but will give them both comfort, I think. Great storytelling.

Yeah, I keep thinking of "getting caffeine" too..

Awesome! John's last journal, from his last year's hunting! At last the boys know he was there, in Kansas .. and YES! when Dean almost died, and when Sam went missing ... YES, YES, and YES! I love their dad ... miss him a lot, but he was watching over them. He loved them, even if he couldn't say it.

I love this story you did - it really helps with John's missing from the boys' lives. Thank you!

He loved Sam, he really did, and his little brother was all he frickin' had left, but if he tried to coax Dean one more time into opening up about his grief—as if that would do anything besides drown him in the flood—he swore, he was gonna engage in some fraternal violence. Sam was his best distraction, but he could also be his most painful reminder.

But this time, with Dad, Sam's…loss seemed to send him searching for connections rather than shunning them. Figured he'd finally absorb Dean's lessons now, when all Dean wanted to do sometimes was lock himself in the room and never come out.

He really should have come after Sam sooner, but… He sighed. Wasn't like he had all the answers, big brother or not. Sometimes he pushed when Sam just needed quiet, and sometimes he was quiet when Sam needed to talk. Dean had gotten rusty in Sammy while his brother had been away, and then Sam came back different, grown up. Dean had learned again, had finally started getting it right more often than not, when Dad…

Oh goodness. This is beautiful. I loved this one so much. Every sentence fit in perfectly and was just dripping with emotion or pent-up feelings and delayed or denied catharsis. Everything about it was so perfect. Just... everything. Loved this one. Bravo.

This was especially wonderful, from the trail of grateful people Sam left even on his way to find a quiet place to grieve to the opening of their dad's last journal and the comforting knowledge it contained. Beautiful depiction of both brothers' sorrow and attempts to support one another.

Great story. I do believe John was proud of his sons. I think John would have kicked Dean's a** for making that deal. But I think he would understand too. He did love his boys.

It would have been awesome to have had something like this in the show.

I love how they find their strength in each other. Beautifully written.

This was beautiful. I loved the first part, seeing the trail of kindness and touched lives that Sam left in his wake (that's just so Sam isn't it?), and I loved the second part with the boys getting John's journal and reading what were essentially his last words to them. I loved how they discovered his love and concern for him through that and the fact that he WAS there for them even when they didn't know it, always watching over them from a distance. John having a second journal which the boys could then read was a very good idea on your part. Just wondering about the wedding ring hanging around Dean's neck - is that in canon or was that just your idea?

Really liked the way you did this one...part from each brother's POV.

Of course Sam would get a kitten out of a tree and shovel an old man's driveway! It might seem a little trite to some, but we all know that's what he would do; partly because it's SAM, but also in the mood he was in, it helped him forget a bit and do something 'normal'.

Once or twice, when watching the brothers use John's journal in S 1, a brief thought of "what's John using for a journal?" flitted through my head, but never hung around long. Kind of good to know someone else thought of it and came up with something for it. :D

The shock of seeing that would have had the exact effect that you described here.

Very nicely done, my friend. :)

And HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I loved Sam's little trail of happiness he left behind him, and Dean tracking through, wondering if he'd met the whole town. And your little aside about Dean walking in Sam's footsteps and finding that his feet fell short of Sam's-almost bittersweet, especially when coupled with this line: **There’d been days when he’d snuggled up in Dean’s lap, freshly bathed and sleepy, ready for a story, and he’d fit just right. Dad hadn’t read to him; Dean had.** You make me love Dean even more than I already do; the way he takes care of Sam, like trading out coffee cups without even asking.

I love Sam & Dean moments. xD

This was absolutely wonderful. You had the boys reading over something of John's from the time he was missing without having to delve into the mysteries of the knowledge that he hasn't imparted on his sons (and I'm wondering if we're ever going to find out...grr...) and it was just right between the balance of descriptive and ambigious to be believable. And I also loved the fact that you had both boys in different situations, dealing with his loss, and they were there for each other at the end, and were slightly sappy and right on the verge of chick-flick but didn't make it there.

Good job!

Woa. Very tearjerking. Yet very beievable, I can see John having another journl like this writing his thoughts about his sons. Especially after the episode Bad Day at Black Rock.