Herbology shows that Neville has the making of a Hero! (Link and plants)

But why the heck did Neville want to force Canon? While he cares about keeping Canon he said that he did not remember this happening, why would he care that much for Ron and Hermione's friendship when he forgot that Hermione's friendship was won by fighting the troll? it is a serious problem when the author chooses to go with OoC and could easily ruin the story

Your Neville is supposed to be better than this, he should have ignored Ron's attempts at stalling and gone himself to comfort her, he is supposed to have an adult's mind

It is when the Troll apears that you can have Neville save Hermione before the boys show up or have him fail at being a Hero, in either case you retain 6 years to sink the ship in a proper way that won't be out of character

The main problem with an OC is that everyone wants to be an immortal sharingan wielder

Which often leads to the second problem that are the inconsistencies that come from contradictory traits like a bully victim that inspies fear and respect
(there can be Lazy Geniuses or Hardworking Geniuses but not Lazy Hardworkers)

The 3rd problem is that the author will make everyone act out of character for the sake of plots, be it to keep with Canon, to make his OC look better or to build an harem for his OC

It is the 3rd part where you had a problem

As i once read in a fanfic, if your character is supposed to be the kind that doesn't bother with banter or pulling punches then make sure that he doesn't bother wirh banter and stop pulling his punches, you made him act OoC to give a great introduction to the Heroine by saving the protagonist but it would be better if the protagonist had an easy time killing this weak antagonist by himself and introducing the Heroine at a later time in the story

After all if the story is good there will be a later

I can see Neville navigate the ship to find Ron', Hermione jumping in Ron's boat when they finally cross paths and Neville beings happy about keeping canon till he noticed that he was left alone in a sinking ship

It's sailing! This ship is definitely sailing!

Hermione proudly rushed to make it sail the moment it had her name

Neville never noticed that he was on the boat till it left the harbor

XD

Don't sink my ship so early!

We barely left port in the most awesome way and you tell me that it wasn't real?

Where is your manly romance? Every Hero in the shonen jump has a possible love interest, it might never work out but it is a fantasy of the readers

i am being playful with this, sailing a ship only to sink as soon as it left the port was funny, even if i think it was too much red herding and far too early to close Ginny's route, you barely unlocked in in the most amazing way!

Seriously, you made me hope for NevilleXGinny if only for the sake of a Neville that believed that she could drop him for Harry at any time and a confident Ginny that believed Neville (her beloved boyfriend) was being an idiot (oblivious to lov3) for believing that, leaving love aside from her point of view it would be the sarcasm of choosing between dating the Humble Ace Protagonist Neville or the Moody Teenager Harry who is friend of Ron

(she would obviously choose Neville for NOT being friends with Ron)

It is not a lie to say that you did a Great Job! XD
(DANG IT! I don't know how to write a congratulations without feeling sarcastic! This is a serious problem! )

Hey quick question does he still have Neville’s father wand? Because he shouldn’t he should have gotten his own after all “The wand chooses the wizard” not the other way around he should have gotten his own wand already after all it’s like using a faulty phone it just won’t call maybe you can force it sometimes if you hold it a special way or go high enough it catches some signal but you should just have your own one that actually works.

And what is wrong with his attitude.. does he not have any self respect? He just let's anyone walk all over him and even readily accepts their apology so soon. And any behaviour a girl may have towards him .. maybe even step over him but he accepts it with open arm... Author are you a closeted masochist? Nothing is wrong with that but if u r making stories use characters that are not like you but more in general, to a neutral character to save u the trouble of thinking so hard.. at least u will have more readers... Anyway let me rush to the WC.. I gotta puke after reading such horrible things. * Paedophile. * *Paedophile*

I wish I could review this and make the story rating drop but here there is no rating! This story is shit... Wtf is wrong with the mc? He is being a total pedo over a Ginny. Goodness sake she is not even 11 or 10 I don't remember the exact age. And u r thinking about her using her tongue on you. You insufferable paedophile. And what is

Who's trevor now? No pet mentioned

11 yr old really is rarely capable of muscles...rare.. and creepy...i mean, save it for 16

Neville seems to be a much better person than those JK spent more words on. All the truly good traits r in him. Most importantly not prejudiced towards other houses despite how he used to be picked upon

I’m not sure why he wouldn’t be able to figure out what was going on in Romania given his adult mind

It was obvious to the extreme so the idea he didn’t figure it out comes across as very forced also I don’t see why he would end up thinking that Elena girl was “alright” she came across as a bitch with no redeeming qualities at all

So overall the chapters in Romania came across as very forced

Man I like this story but the constant mention of "to-do" list is just such a turn off especially now that they are 11 years old...

this is the worst fic ever don't read

Yeah this is just awful to read... this MC is just smarter than neville in other subjects except for herbology which our MC is a complete moron in... this MC is the same amount of beta as the real Neville and that’s just pathetic. Wasted my time reading up to this point

Why is he such a beta

Your oc is retarted as hel for not getting a custom wand or meditation to even attempt find said magic.