Any chance you'll finish this? I really liked it and am eager to find out how it ends :) BUt since you last updated in 2008 my hope is kinda fading... Please, please, please, pleeaaassseee *bigpuppyeyes*

Thank you for writing such a sweet fanfiction about Carmen! The plotline is just too cute and romantic to resist! I simply adore how you used his comical elemts from the musical to incorporate them into the story. Especially the long, drawn out "YESSSSSSSS?" If I could offer some constructive criticism, his characterization is a little off. It's passable sure enough, but looking further into the character, the audience knows Carmen to be girlier than most girls, more socially awkward around non-gays, and of course, peppy and spirited beyong compare. I understand as a writer myself that unraveling inner thoughts and feelings proves difficult from minor characters like Carmen, but I know you can easily perfect it! No complaints, only praise for the beginning as I can easily picture him drawing a fountain in a park like an artist craving inspiration. Keep writing and please finish this story, k? I'll be checking for updates!

Hope you update soon! This story is great! D

Hey I just read your story and I really liked it.

I hope roger and carmen talk to each other seriously and come together in the end ;) greetings!

I really like this.

This is a really cute story, and I wish I had found it sooner. I hope you update soon. I love it! I can't wait until we see what happens. :)

Hello! Okay... I was looking for Roger Bart related material (hehe, yes, I quite adore Roger, too!) and I ran into your fic. Interesting idea. Although, in my honest opinion, (if your fic is going where I think it's headed), I have to say that if Carmen started falling for Renee, it might seem out of character.

Not that I'm saying I'm against that! I'm just pointing out that, well-in regards to the show-the way Carmen's character has been lain out is pretty straight forward (bad pun, lol). In the show, Carmen even calls Max an "ungrateful breeder," which would make me think he's really set in stone, haha. But I've taken the time to read through your fic and I see you've put in (while perhaps it's not really logical with such over-the-top characters) a bit of realistic humanism, regarding the fact that (in this particular situation) orientation isn't so black-and-white. I personally believe that you can find attraction in anyone (male, female, younger, older, etc.) and fall in love with it (attraction), him, or her.

I like your story, and I'm glad you're getting some grammatical constructive criticism from people (the people on this site can be SO cruel, *shakes head*). I'm very eager to read your next installment and hope you update soon. Now... onto fangirling...

I DID notice the little hat-tip to YF in your one chapter about "joining the family business"-very cool. I wanted to see the show, but I didn't have the funds, haha. Hopefully, I'll catch it when it comes on tour, :D. I'm also very jealous you got to meet Roger, :P.

One last thing: The first thing I thought when I found your fic was this, and I must know... Are you basing Carmen's appearance from Roger's Broadway look, or his film look? I must say... his hair quite scared me in the movie. He looked MUCH better as Carmen on Broadway, :D. That's all! Keep writing, ;D. And update soon!

I just started reading this story and i want to see what your going to write next!

haha its very.. captivating

i put it on alert too :)

Aw...first chapter sad.

I'm looking forward to reading the renovated chapters. And no, I didn't notice that about the chapter names. Nice twist, I need to pay more attention to these things.

Oh! Nice cliffhanger! Can't wait to see what will happen next!

This chapter was great, especially the changing points of view. It was interesting to see Renee's perspective on the whole ordeal. And the part where you had her thinking about kissing Carmen - awesome! It really grabbed my attention, not that the rest of the story didn't. Also, the very beginning of that section where you described the park was magnificent. I loved all the description you used. XD

I love how you always put little cliffhangers at the end. They make me wish that you hadn't ended the chapter, and I always can't wait for the next. Right now, I'm supposed to be doing a theatre project, but when I saw this alert in my inbox, I just had to read the next part. :D

Here's a few things I caught:

"The memories consisting of Roger coming home at three in the morning, and always the same conversation was held."

This sounds a bit awkward. I think it would sound better as:

"The memories consisting of Roger coming home, in which the same conversation was always held."

Also:

"“He’s not here. I didn’t see him,” Carmen assured."

Put "her" after "assured." It will flow better.

And just a typo:

"After a few minutes of silent hysteria, pondering over what to do, Carmen grabbed a white turtleneck and the usual black pant."

You wrote "pant" instead of "pants." You just forgot the s.

Besides that, I didn't find any huge flaws with this chapter. I've seen a great improvement with your writing since the first chapter, actually! (God, I sound like an english teacher XP) Now you have me absolutely hooked on the story.

And I can understand that you don't update a lot. I've been swamped with school myself. Fortunately, I just finished a HUGE project, so I've got that off my chest, but I should really be doing homework now. I've got another project to do over Christmas break, and then come January I have midterms, so I understand where you're coming from! As long as you update and don't abandon this fic, I'm happy! XD

Wow, this fic keeps getting better and better! I'm really drawn in. I have so many questions and I'm dying to know the answers! Is Carmen falling in love with Renee? Is he bisexual? Is Roger gonna find out about them and possibly get mad? I want to know!

Now, for a few things you could improve on:

Sometimes in this chapter, it felt like you were using a thesaurus way too much. Although finding new words and expanding the vocabulary in a story is great, sometimes it can be over done. Simpler is better in some cases, and it sounds less awkward. For example:

"Yet now that Carmen pondered, was there really something to be caught?"

Pondered sort of sounds awkward and forced. A phrase like "thought about it" would sound better, even though it's pretty ordinary. It just flows nicer. Also:

"“You startled me!” he accused . . ."

Trying not to use said is great! Believe me, I try to avoid it as much as possible, but there are some instances where it fits just fine. An overuse is annoying, but using it every so often is okay. Or at least that's what Stephen King said in his book "On Writing" (recommended by me for any writer), and plenty of other great authors do the same. (JK Rowling, etc.) Here, accused sounds awkward, so use something like "said" or "yelled."

"Carmen resisted the urge to bite his nails. No! Those are newly manicured!"

HAHA! I loved this line!

And don't worry about sporadically updating. I've had absolutely no time to update any of my fics lately either. *tries to think about the last time she updated her Producers fic that she said she would finish. A month? Two? Three?* -_- As long as you don't abandon it and update every so often, I'm happy. :)

And your welcome for the comments. There aren't a lot of reviewers in The Producers section. I only have one review for my Producers fic that's been up since this summer, and it was from a review forum game thingy, so it barely counts. -_- As a totally obsessed fan of the movie/musical I love reading/reviewing all the fics here.

-End the extremely long review- XD

Woah! Nice twist there with Renee! Totally something you aren't expecting. :O

Also, I think I found the YF reference! I whole time I was thinking of the movie (which I've seen more times than I can count), but it was from the musical, right? Renee not wanting to "Join the Family Business"? I could be wrong, but I think that was it.

This was a great chapter, and the cliffhanger is great! :D Now I want to read more!

I think the part where Renee and Carmen are talking could have been better, though. I felt as though there wasn't enough detail between the dialogue. You got some, but I think you could have aded more, such as what the characters were thinking and their emotions, etc.

Also, a few things I picked up on:

“No, no,” Carmen laughed, “a water droplet landed on my face.”

You shouldn't used a verb such as laugh, sigh, etc. in place of a word like said or asked. Don't worry, it's a common mistake, and I do it all the time. :D But it sounds a bit awkward. Try saying something like this instead:

Carmen said as he laughed.

Carmen said, laughing.

Carmen laughed as he said this.

Besides that, I really enjoyed this chapter and your plot twist! XD I want to see where this is all going! Also, don't be too concerned with reviews. There aren't too many readers in The Producers section, and even fewer reviewers. I've had a story up for 2 months, and it only got 1 review. I'm one of the few regular reviewers here, and there are a few others too, but it doesn't compare to more popular categories. So don't feel discouraged by a lack of reviews! Your fanfic is still awesome!

This was such a bittersweet chapter! It was sad, and at the same time, there were those feel good moments. It was a nice touch the Carmen wasn't completely mad at Roger, and that he could still remember the good things about him. I rarely see that in stories, and I absolutely loved it! :D

The part where Carmen found the pen was sad, though! I really felt for him. I love how you can make the reader really feel for the characters even if they have never been in a certain situation before. I feel like I can really relate to Carmen, yet I've never gone through his experience before.

Just some things I picked up on:

"What did he for all that time, Carmen was unsure. Then again, he did not really want to know."

The first part of the first sentence is confusing. I think you wanted to say "What he did for all that time" or "What he did with all that time", but I'm not completely sure. Also, I think these two sentences would sound much better if they were combined, possibly like this:

"What he did with all that time, Carmen was unsure, but then again, he did not really want to know."

And just a small gramatical thing:

"Recall scattered pieces of their conversation, Carmen had realized how elaborately Renee's way of speaking."

It should be:

"Recalling scattered pieces of their conversation, Carmen had realized how elaborate Renee's way of speaking was."

Eagerly awaiting the next update!

Great chapter! The beginning was very emotional, and I loved how you had the thoughts rushing through Roger's head. I feel so bad for him! Renee seems like a good character, too, and that she'll help him out. And I like how you made her an artist, considering that I like to draw (even though I'm not that great). I just want to warn you to NOT make her a Mary Sue. In case you don't know what that is, it's a original character that is absolutely perfect and wins over everyone's hearts. Wikipedia has a good article about the traits of a Mary Sue if you want to check it out. I'm not saying that she is one, I'm just warning you not to head in that direction. It will turn off a lot of readers.

Just something I caught:

“I don’t think I love him, anymore, though,” Carmen in an unsure tone.

You forgot to put said in the middle of "in" and "Carmen."

Also, Renee's dialogue seemed a tad flat and therapist-ish in this chapter. Unless you're aiming for this, I suggest making her dialogue a bit more interesting and unique.

I think splittling it into two chapters was a great idea. I'm the type of person who enjoys short chapters for some odd reason. I think it adds more suspense to a story.

Personally, I'd rather read a story about Leo finding another woman just because I'd rather read a story about Leo than Ulla. And reading something from Ulla's POV would get annoying if you wrote like she talks in the movies/musical. I also think Leo breaking up with Ulla would be more intersting than just reading what we already know happened.

Whew, long review. Well, please update soon! I'm thoroughly enjoying it!