what is going to happen next please update soon

Oh gosh. I know it's bene ages since you wrote this, but I would really like you to continue - at least until I can know whether or not that random guy was Spike.

~ Tuppence ~

Is that Spike? You're really skilled with the suspense thing. I'm definitely reading the next chapter. I also like the little bit of depth you gave to Faye, when she says that Julia is all she has.

~ Tuppence ~

Still interesting. I just think you should add meat to this story, as it's still fairly skeletal. Add a bit more depth to your characters and all.

~ Tuppence ~

Oh well,the story definitely has promise. I'm looking forward to reading the rest.

Again, though, the emotions feel a little superficial because you haven't really shown how they got there, but still a good read. :)

~ Tuppence ~

Ooh well I suspected Faye/Julia at the start and now it's happening. :D That last line was brilliant, because it really is a cliff-hanger. (I'm assuming it's not referring to Spike but something else that happens? That would be super cool.) That last line really make me want to carry on reading (alas, I have an essay to write).

Aside from that, it would have been nice to maybe have a couple of scenes with Faye and Julia interacting with each other, and falling in love? That would have come under as show not tell; as in, you've told us they're falling in love but you could also show us...?

But it's a good chapter all the same.

~ Tuppence ~

Ps I hope you don't mind me reviewing each chapter. I just like giving proper feedback, because it's the kind of thing I appreciate myself.

Hey interesting story. A couple of typos though - you once wrote trail as trial. Another thing, you're writing isn't very emotive yet. It's very descriptive, in the sense that you describe what happens, but you're not getting emotions in. Like in the hour that Julia was driving, you could have mentioned something like, her panic rising each minute and hope fading further - would ahve added some emotions to the action.

I really liked the promising start though. I look forward to reading your other chapters.

~ Tuppence ~

I love Faye and Julia buddy stories. Julia is okay, but I kind of like her without Spike.

It didn't suck at all...it's an interesting premise.

oh, i likes! anou, do i detect a touch of yuri tendencies hiding within? either way, i wanna see more soon!

Very nice! You have to continue, this is too much of a cliffhanger. Really the makings of an intriguing story.