That hit me right in the feels! Its such a sad but good story!

WHY tTT-TT

Ouch. That's some serious angst, and well written to boot. I noticed your effort to be very vague about identities other than brief hints and that made the story mysterious and a nice writing exercise. Still, I enjoy identifying with the characters and it's more difficult when you don't know who's who. ;)

This was..so sad. I like it though, you did a good job with the writing. I can imagine in my head what Allen was going though.

TT3TT...i almost cried...dood, this is so sad...but so cute...i love it...;w;

*sobs* so sad... T_T

I've noticed that when you write this couple, you can definitely make the reader feel the character's pain. That's a very brilliant little talent you have there. It feels like you've buried yourself in their sorrow and pulled it out from the darkest abyss, weaving it through your words and writing like some mystical storyteller. The beginning was definitely beautiful. I could feel all of Allen's pain of wishing to see Lavi and his struggle to believe what others told him of Lavi. I could see Lenalee doing something like letting Allen see Lavi one last time in that hospital bed. But I kind of wished you pulled off a "Monster" scene where Allen sees Lavi sit up and caress his cheek and say something sweet like...well, SOMETHING (no good at thinking up corny, cheesy, fluffy scenes) and then Allen wakes up and sees that Lavi is still in bed.

The ending was a bit iffy though. For you to say that Allen suddenly felt the Black Order was a prison is saying that Allen's entire life revolved around Lavi, and I really can't see that. I don't think Allen would be that absorbed into love (I sure as hell haven't met any guy who has yet). But it was a bittersweet ending done well, and you deserve great praise for that. There were a few things you could've fixed here and there story-wise, but overall, it was a nice piece of work. I can definitely see that romance and angst is your niche. (Though I wish your other story "One for One" would slow down a bit because it seems to move on so fast~)

omg *cries* thats soo sad...*wipes away some tears* i feel soo bad for allen losing the pople he loved most (mana, and lavi)