Interesting...

The last sentence wow
Good job

Kallen should of beaten Ougi whan he spoke to her. Also you should write another chapter that explains what happened from when Lelouch died to the 5 years later. Like the Black Knigts learned that Schzleal tricked them, or Jeremiah went on a rampage and killed Ougi and the royals.

Pretty darn good.

I'm not sure why you chose to have several phrases in Japanese. While they are relatively easy to understand, it disturbs the flow of your story while the reader flounders with the language shift, and it's confusing. Are you trying to imply that the default language in Japan is now English, even for the Japanese?

Also, at this point in the story, I don't think the Guren Mk II is around anymore, but the Guren S.E.I.T.E.N.

Let's see, decent length. Decent punctuation. Decent grammar.

Facepalm moments:

- Asahina was dead during the betrayal

- Lelouch was 11th prince, 17th in the line of succession.

- Keeping to one's room usually involves locking the door.

- Use Ougi or Ohgi. Not Oghi.

- 'What in the name of Zero...'? I doubt somebody who was Zero would actually say that.

Lovely ending, though.

Excellent story-though it seems incomplete without a conclusion _

The story was pretty much ok. I just think that you could have developed the plot a bit more.