Just so amazing as usual. I really loved this story since you forst began the original version of it. Love it more and more.

I've never seen this pairing before and I cant help but wonder WHY NOT! Ehem... You should write more, I'm excited to know what's ging to happen

I like it! I spent a long time looking for a DW fic of my taste today and this was the first one I found, so I'm very happy I checked it out. (No offence meant to the other writers, this is just my preferred type of story.)

I think my favourite part of this so far is Zhang He. I haven't yet read "The Romance of the Three Kingdoms", but your portrayal of him is very similar to how I imagine him outside of the battlefield: considerate to his servants, and not at all forceful, except when it is completely necessary. How he is treating Lu Xun is wonderful, too; Xun is being received as a captured enemy General would be rather than a slave, and that's exactly what he is.

I do have a little bit of criticism of Lu Xun, however, and it lies with his attitude to being enslaved. From the very little I know of Ancient China, in this situation Xun would more likely be wanting the honourable way out rather than struggling and asking to be left alone. Grim as it is, he would be looking for ways to join his fellow Wu soldiers and people in the afterlife, rather than living on and becoming a slave to his enemies. To live on would be a disservice to the people he fought beside and what they fought for. Or at least, that's the impression I have of those times, please ignore me if you know better. :) I noticed that his attitude became more geared towards acceptance by the end, but at the start I felt he wasn't as in character as he could have been.

Furthermore, there are numerous grammatical errors scattered throughout these chapters; since this is a rewrite, I could go through and tell you what they are if you like, as I have a sharp eye for these things. It was nothing too bad, just common spelling mistakes, missing apostrophes, that sort of thing, but I still picked up on them as I was reading.

I really have no other criticism than that. You have a great writing style, and there are several parts in this that I really enjoyed. I liked how Zhang He left it to his servants to buy Lu Xun, because it seemed a lot more likely that he would do that rather than buy Lu Xun himself, especially as he does not wish the purchase to be known. I also liked Fa Ziyi: she was bold when she knew more about Xun's situation but distant and respectful at first. Although I think that He is more likely to be bi (he appreciates beauty of all kinds), I think you write him very naturally; it doesn't seem forced at all.

All in all, this is a fantastic opening, and I really hope you continue! *Alerts*