This so pretty and beautiful thanks

Wow, so sad.
Seriously though this was very well written. I'll admit that i was a bit surpsied at how guresome you made the beginning yet how the second half was a bit more light hearted yet very tragic.
And i'd say that as hard of a character Lelouch is to capture, with his cold calculating character and a number of other things that are in his persona, I'd say you got him down quite well. While Lelouch isn't usually the type to show his emotions save for situations that really call for it you nailed it.
Lelouch, whether or not he returned Shirley's feelings did love her and cherished her as a close friend. And when she died he closed himself off from people in order to keep from getting close to others.

All in all this is a really good short story, it was very well written you did a very fantastic job with the descriptions while not making the story very long, and you also nailed the ending just right, while trying to convey some hope that Shirley will wake up, and then being told that she doesn't awaken after Lelouch kisses her. Well done.

my heart breaks. the descriptions are lovely and I can't even. you really have a hand at LelouchShirley :)

it's really saad ;-;

Can I just say? This is honestly, truly heartbreaking. I personally feel that Lelouch is a hard character to write, but the way you've described him here is just amazing. The wording itself works amazingly too - the gruesome description of Shirley versus the almost-fairytale of the second half.

In short, this is incredible beyond words.

It's a very good and believable story from Lelouch's perspective. Very nice imagery, and I love the quote you used at the end, because it is so true for Lelouch.

Very nice writing, hope to read more ).

This story really impressed me. The imagery is fantastic, for one: I found the contrast between the somewhat gruesome wording nature of the first half and the opposite nature of the second to be very engaging.

I had planned to comment on which lines I liked best, but I'm finding it really tricky to decide now, lol. "Maybe she needs the sun, not the rain" I found to be very appropriate.

My favourite line, of course, would have to be the last one (No, not Oscar Wilde, although I commend you for the reference P). Your unorthodox use of brackets instead of regular prose put a lot more emphasis on the line, so I thought that was a really good choice (even though I generally despise brackets - lol, irony). )

...You're THIRTEEN? *Jawdrop* I was thinking Year 12 Literature student, lol. No jokes, either. O

Anyway, keep up the good work! XD

Cheers,

Lord Bear

this was very deep, shows lelouch's feelings of disbelief that even though he has geass, the black knights, and great power, he stll forgot what was really important to him. Nice quote at the end, can really apply to a lot of characters. The personalities are difficult to work with, but I think you did a good job.