The only 2 things sam has ever been good at is putting dean down, and making shitty excuses to his own fuck ups.

EVERYTHING I'd thought about Sam up until the time Castiel visited Dean in the hospital I'd been thinking. You TOTALLY nailed it, and I'm very, VERY impressed. Great job!

Like the idea of Sam overhearing Cas talking with Dean. Like the responses Sam had, including the time he went back in and faced Dean himself. How ... broken Dean is. And how Sam is going to take care of everything. Yes, perfect.

Can't find the video you mentioned - no such URL found.

This was perfectly wonderful! Thank you so much for writing it!

This was such a fabulous tag to this episode! I made a post over at LJ spnstoryinders looking for exactly this type of story and am so glad someone recced it to me! This was amazing!

This was just terrific. I had to go back and watch the episode, which is one I almost avoid generally. (It's just too painful to see the look in Dean's eyes as he takes up those implements of torture... and wrecks any remnant that was left of his faith in himself as a good person. And the freakin' angels make him do it - shudder.) I thought you did a great job depicting what might have been going through Sam's mind, and I think you do a better job than they did in the show, really, of showing how Ruby plays into all Sam's vulnerabilities and flaws to USE this terrible situation to ensnare him further. Speaking of vulnerability - jeez, the look in Sam's eyes when he's asking for the blood, and her petting him and calling him 'Sammy'? Poor guy is starving for all of it - affection, sex, and demon blood. And... poor Sam wanting so much to use his power (and who wouldn't?) to save his brother, to fix things...

Anyway - wonderful fic. Thank you so much.

Wow! I am speechless! That story is... WOW! I loved everything about it!

That episode was just crying out for a tag & this fit the bill perfectly. If only the writers could put it all in properly! Thank you for an excellent read. I liked the fact that you included the scripted conversations, too, as it really melded the tag beautifully with what we saw on screen. I shall look forward to more stories from you.

Great reinterpretation of the episode :). U managed to hold onto that brotherly bond, yet keep them in character with that season. I hated Sam when he got all power hungry but twas a good season

Another fantastic story (and did u get my message? Just curious)

I really like the way you wrote Sam, and especially the part when he confessed his true feelings about Dean's return. That was a very touching and true-to-character moment. And if the director of SPN by any chance decided to make an episode or even a season for the missing scenes of SPN, I would love to see your story come to life.

Great work!

~KWF~

Thank you for the LZ "Stairway To Heaven" reference.

I miss him with everything inside of me.

Yes, this is how it is to miss a loved one.

"Just go, Sammy," he says tiredly.

Pain, it hurts me hard. Oh G, you're fighting below the belt today.

"No," I shake my head. "I'm not leaving you, Dean."

Pain, I fight it back. Body check back to ya G.

:P

"Fine," he says, closing his eyes. "Have it your way."

I will, I silently vow.

HB for the Win!

I will get us through this. No matter what it takes.

HB wants that. Willing to make a deal with CRD.

;D

Thanks GS for this story. I would love to have seen Sam's reaction to the conversation between Dean and Cas there. It showed how broken Dean was by Ali's revelation.

I think you gave that scene to me here with this story.

*smishes you close and smiles*

Hi Gaelic,

I loved your tag (even though anyone else would have called it a story and not just a tag). Anyway, I think Sam's actions throughout S4 become much clearer and much more understandable with this tag. I won't start with what lines I liked most since there were so many, but this little paragraph where Sam feels like Sammy for a short time - this will stay with me for a looong time:

My stomach clenches and I place my hand over my belly. He hasn't called me Sammy in a long time. Hearing it now, in a voice destroyed at the hands of our enemy, balls up fury, fear, and frustration into a fist that punches me from the inside out.

I think it's good to know that even though Sam doesn't want to need anyone, he still misses his brother, his strength, protection and leadership, and that he feels furious and frustrated at hearing his nickname from this beaten and broken version of his brother without being able to help him.

Oh, and I loved this paragraph, too:

There is a new Sam, now. And no matter what some psychic says about me, or what some angel says about Dean, I'm not losing my brother again. Not like that. Not to them. I am strong enough now to keep him safe. Even if I can't give him back the piece of himself he lost, I'm gonna show him that what's left over is good enough. He doesn't have to be my hero anymore. He can just… be.

and this:

And when I'm sure he's asleep, I slip my hand into his, holding on loosely.

"I'm gonna take care of this," I say to his closed eyes. "It doesn't have to be you."

Thanks for this beautiful and well-thought through tag.

Best wishes and take good care! D.

You know, I like this - because I just watched the episode (ah, netflix!) and there's so much left out (but to be fair, they only had an hour) and since I already know how the whole thing ends and I've been wondering the whole time, just what in the heck is Sammy thinking? And now, here it is. I think this probably is pretty close to his mental state. So good job and thanks for sharing! Difficult to read but important for the whole arc of season 4.

Loved it;) Great Job!

I can't believe I didn't review-ed this yet!Because - I read it a while ago and just re-read it and MAN this was amazing! You captured the characters so so well! You completly got Dean and especially Sam right! *drops*

For me, season 4 was pretty hard to watch, with the brother bind breaking a little and so on. And just like Dean I couldn't deal with a somehow changed Sam at first. I was always waiting for Sam to be more...Sammy-ish and dude, my heart broke so many times in the 4th season (and I don't want to talk about eason 5 *lol*). But jeez, I can understand Sam so much, concerning the most things , again: You captured him perfectly well!

I loved it and really enjoyed reading it - although it made my heart hurt and it was real I loved it )

Feel hugged and be safe!

Kritty

I seem to be in the mood for a Gaelicscript revival - lol. What a pleasent way to kill my time waiting - you add depth to this episode, you fill in for Sam and make the road he eventually chose to walk down solid and as reasonable and "noble" as it must have appeared to Sam. The traces of old Sammy, heart breaking over his brother's pain and new Sam's cold "Save him if it kills... him?" side coming through giving him imense depth. Fantastic job Gaelic! Thank you