What?

That’s... terrifying. It feels like dancing on a knife’s edge, knowing you could fall any minute, but you need to keep dancing or you’ll fall for sure. Then someone falls, the game is over, and the players start wondering why they ever started playing in the first place.

Creepy, and chilling, and yet it fits oh-so-very-well to such lovable characters. First time I've seen this take, and it's very VERY memorable.

I love your Rusty and Danny. Itracked you down on fanfic from avague memory of your name from LJ 'cause I needed a reccomendation for someone. Since then I've just been reading your stories. They have so reminded me of how much I love O11 and Rusty and Danny. I like them all but oh I love this one - thank you for writing it.

Wow. That was quite dark.

I loved this so much! I've been reading through a number of your Ocean's 11 stories this weekend after having rewatched the movie and found this take incredibly compelling. Angsty, to be sure, but...there was something extremely compelling about the twistiness of the story. I wanted it to go on and on.

WAAH. I am so close to crying right now. I hate you, I hate you! Why did Danny have to die after so much unhappiness? GAH.

But seriously, that was incredible. The way you wove the movie scenes into your AU. I really loved the part when Danny was saying "You think we need another one? You think we need another one" because I could remember that clearly from the movie, but I could see it now in an entirely different light. AMAZING. I'm going to go read it again.

Oh. Wow. I guess I never really thought of it...in that way. That he made himself that person, and that... Um. Kinda hard to react to this story. I mean, I did react (teary eyes at the end and all) but...still. It's just a bit overwhelming, the hurricane, the storm and a boy. -Silver

My heart aches...

You did this to me, with your wonderfully disturbing and creepily beautiful interpretation of Danny and Rusty's relationship! Curse you! I love it!

At first I was seriously thrown for a loop. I was like, "Who the fuck is Brian Bell? And how does Rusty just pop up out of thin air? ...Oh." So kudos for making me feel like an idiot. X3

The idea of Rusty as... what's the word... psychologically impaired?... and Danny as his acting guide was incredibly sad, but so quirkily beautiful. I mean, I've read fics where the two are very dependent on each other, but this was a whole new level of dependency altogether.

And the ending made me wanna rip my own heart out and eat it. So kudos for making me feel like a psychopath, as well. X3

(Just kidding...I'm not that far gone.)

I think it's safe to say, I'll never look at Rusty Ryan the same way again. Especially in the notorious "you think we need one more" scene. What was once just cute to me has taken on dark new connotations. But that's a good thing... I think?

Keep up the good work!

(And I loved the Fight Club reference! So brilliantly intertwined! And ironic... 0_o)

It was so disturbing and strange and sad and i loved it. your writing amazes me.

I loved so many bits and pieces of this, a really fantastic take on things.

I think my favourite lines was: 'Why not dream a little further than they should? They danced in the stars and had further to fall.'

Rusty forgetting Isabel because Danny doesn’t want him to remember her, because “He'd never wanted Isabel in Rusty's life” and the embedding of her and the relationship because Danny knows he’s been selfish and he wouldn’t abuse that knowingly (the O11 plan to steal Tess) or unknowingly as here.

What he does let himself do though is let Rusty betray Isabel in a way that Isabel would never understand and Danny could have stopped it. Could have but didn’t not least because the white noise is threatening to overwhelm Rusty and before anything Danny is protective of Rusty in times of fragility and release means the glass does not shatter. It still sounds a hollow excuse in Danny’s ears. It still doesn’t stop Danny feeling the guilt.

Guilt again for manipulative!Danny with the Abigail Sponder route they didn’t go down.

Oh, and now thinking about Rusty watching Oprah and sniffing because he’s reflecting emotion. Thanks for that.

The protesting too much of opportunity cost and whether the wonder of the starshine outweighs living with the constant storm and really, Danny’s decision was made a lifetime ago, a lifetime of loneliness and magic.

The ending. Oh, the ending. Incoherence on my part will follow. The echoes back and the *pain* of it. I’m crying again, damn you. And am so glad that Linus was there to carry the message back to Tess.

Not talking about stealing convertibles in parking lots. You’re getting a look.

“There wasn't any time.” Howling.

“Rusty was there and the rest of the world died away.” Still howling.

All the things that Rusty wants to say, all the words they never say and Danny *knowing* what’s going to happen. Oh, I hate his bloody vision so much sometimes. Knowing that everything Rusty is, everything they are is going to disappear overnight as good as damn it. There will be no one to keep the flame burning because when Danny dies, *they* are truly at an end. Such agony. Such absolute agony. Screen’s gone blurry. :)

“In a month, week, day's time, and then for all eternity, the man who would walk in Rusty's skin would not know Danny's name.” AARGH! Hate it, hate it, hate it.

And if that wasn’t bad enough. If the darkness coming and the separation wasn’t bad enough, the continuation. The chameleon let loose and Caleb Callaghan wiping Danny’s blood away and not knowing the significance. Not having a clue. Hurts beyond belief.

Oh, this is work of genius. You do know that. I have told you that. Such powerful, dark writing. Distorting and twisting and awful. And brilliant, brilliant writing. Amazing writing. Makes me want to go up to strangers at bus stops and make them read it. Truly memorable actually in a way that “VK” is because I will be thinking about this story for such a long time to come. Thank you for writing it. Honoured by the dedication. Humbled by the talent.

I seem to remember that the only thing I was able to say when I read the first few paragraphs was that yes, it was disturbing and that it was dark, very, very dark. Nothing much has changed really. I also happen to think it’s an amazing piece of writing – as distressing as it is – and it is - it’s fantastic.

And with the image of a slightly alarmed Rusty from “I have never” in my mind, is it obligatory to warn for strangeness? Because I may need to get T-shirts printed.

The concept of this…it just makes me shiver. They are colder people in this. More distant. And the threaded through wondering of what might have been is so very howlworthy because that shouldn’t be an option. And thank you for making it clear that it plays no part of the timey wimey because the otherness is so other. And no, I doubt I’m going to get much clearer but still. The idea of the magic that is Rusty being only a facet, a side of the “almost-soul” (OUCH!)…well, it hurts.

Because what you have done, you talentedbeyondallthings writer, is take the them, the amazing and the brilliance and the starshine, and twist it round and back on itself. And the them should never be able to be Louised. Congratulations.

Their meeting “amidst death and danger and darkness” and I love the poetry in this fic, the “They were children, or as good as, and there were old dreams in their eyes”. Am going to be quoting so much back at you unhelpfully in this.

Mr Moresby and his barman and the cellar and the little lessons that need to be taught. Gritting teeth. And the unspoken plan that is hatched in desperation and the situation brings them closer immediately and of course, the need to find out more.

Sighing for the alliterative names theme, the trait of the chameleon that is constant. And Chris Calhoun who is – of course – everything that Mr Moresby wants. Shudder.

The little encounters that build and the relationship that grows and even though there’s no Rusty pov (obviously), we understand that he wants to see Danny, that part of him on a level that he could never understand, could never articulate, feels the special, feels how Danny makes him feel, feels how Danny makes him.

The aliases that they inhabit and hide behind and never show their true selves and to Danny, that’s because they’re meeting professionally: he’s yet to find out that he will never meet truth.

Danny asking for help. Asking and knowing the answer and you see? I want to say it’s because of the unspoken. Because it should be. But it isn’t necessarily, is it? The answer’s there, the connection is there because Danny wants it to be, needs it to be. The chameleon at work.

The Carstairs job and Danny caring as only Danny can and wanting to balance things up with satisfying irony. “But it was a job for two. Two, and he was only one.” And not thinking about other verses where two become one. Oh, that sounds very Spice Girls.

The stabbing and Danny’s thoughts of death and “his only hope was that the blond got away clean” and OW for the forward echo. Because at the end of this, the blond will get away and will be wiped clean.

Danny waking up and being taken care of. His hand being held. And throughout this story, the wonder about where the lines of love and caring start and finish. Sigh for the introductions and the “Rusty Ryan” that doesn’t exist before that moment. Howling for the need in Danny not to be alone. Because wants and needs and shaping.

The beginning of understanding in Danny via incomprehension and fear. The chameleon locked into place and the person Danny knows buried and unable to surface. And can see the fear in Danny when he experiences “the wrong facial expressions, the wrong body language…the wrong speech patterns”. Shivers for the “It wasn't friendly. It wasn't understanding. It wasn't Rusty”.

The little edges of the spiral that you show. The way the chameleon works. Danny likes movies so Rusty does too. Sigh.

Jace Jackson. Can see him. Lighthearted and smiling and not a care in the world and no substance and no depth and agonisingly empty. The long loneliness and not for the last time and OW for the talking and the pleading until Danny can see “familiar blue eyes”. And Rusty being self-aware. Oh, that hurts. So very much. To know that he is other. Sounding very Lovecraftian. Think that’s what this feels like, actually.

Sigh for Danny watching not-Rusty – and that’s how he would think of him always when he was apart from him. Sigh just for the not-Rusty if it comes to that.

“Rusty could be whatever anyone wanted (needed) him to be. Anyone in the world. Anything in the world. And he always knew.”

Screaming for this. Screaming for the chameleon. Screaming for the fluidity, the nebulousness, the slip-sliding, the amorphous, the lack of identity. And for the losing of self. The anchor that is Danny “in the centre of a hurricane of shifting, ephemeral chaos”. The one person that he can come back to and the identity that he wants to inhabit because Danny is the one person who can stand up to the chameleon, the one person that is stronger than the chameleon because being with Danny makes him Rusty and “Rusty was who Danny loved. (Wanted. Needed.)”.

The developing relationship and the trust extended and the fact that whatever the demands of the chameleon, “they were unchangeable”. The little them conversation that could sit in any verse (and still love the “Dumbo” reference). And the glib/sincere and the surface/depth conflicts that never disappear.

Love protective!Danny. Driven to protect at any cost. And protected in return because “Rusty was rarely that far away”.

“Maybe Rusty really did have an existence beyond Danny's reflection.” AARGH!

Oh, you’re right. I hate the Saul. Absolutely hate the lie and hate that Danny sees and knows and hates and can’t stop it and takes the least painful option. “He stayed. They stayed. He hurt.”

Sighing for the lines of self-fulfilling logic. The movies earlier and here:

“Danny liked people.

Rusty wanted Danny happy.

Rusty could make people happy.”

And all the ways Rusty adjusts to whomever he meets and the agony and the strain of the spotted and striped wallpaper and the asynchronous reflections. And the proactivity of Rusty to the problem. All the little things that define him. The “character in shorthand” that both he and Danny can use to keep Rusty in place.

“A shiny enough surface could hide a sin of multitudes.” – Love this line.

The pace they live at. The red shoes. Dancing from one thing to the next because they can’t stop, they can’t stay too long because the chameleon never rests, the chameleon demands expression and the hurricane is only ever a breath away.

“They played the game. They had nothing to lose.” OW. OW. OW.

The lightness of what Livingston wants – technical fascination – contrasted with the dark side – the horror of the four day one-night stand, the aftermath of violence at the hands of Faulks.

Tess entering their lives and the “Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want a bit of normal”. And Rusty knows because the chameleon knows.

Screaming silently for the kiss and the “beautiful, perfect stranger”, the “everything he could want”. Such a tiny slip and it shows how fragile they are. Because without Danny’s (impressive) self-restraint, their relationship would have moved to a different place, Rusty would have shifted. And the disappearance, the break that is needed and the “I’ll find you” which is not just about Danny tracking Rusty down physically, it’s about Danny tracking down the personality. And hate the “Rusty vanished”. Because that’s even before he’s left the room.

Sigh for the discordant Rusty that Tess wants. Empty and surface and shine and hate that Danny has to witness, has to understand even if Rusty doesn’t.

The pain of the four years for Danny. The separation and the not knowing and he’s seen some of the worst and his imagination is excellent at making the worst even more vivid than it is. The loneliness. The ache. And the certainty that his conviction has led to a different kind of sentence for Rusty.

Getting out and impossibly finding Rusty more or less intact. The commitment to Danny, to the consistency that Danny represents and possibly the bravest thing Rusty has ever attempted even if he can’t be certain he’s maintained the persona. Because he’s stood up to the demands of the chameleon alone and unsupported. And as hateful as the idea that it’s necessary is, love the idea that the tattoo is the visible link to Danny. The visual that keeps him focused when he’s slipping because he wants to be there for Danny when he’s released.

Howling for the bar scene, the “Ten ought to do it”. The ache and the emptiness and the fact that “Rusty wasn't there”.

“Rusty could have whatever he liked. If he'd just come back.” OW.

Sighing for the double reading of Danny. His instincts and his judgment of people and the “something deeper and older and colder” of picking up on their needs and wants from what he reads in Rusty. And here thinking that the chameleon helps Rusty interpret Yen in Babelfish fashion.

Linus/Rusty. Shakes head. I prefer my version. :) And shivering for the chameleon at work, picking up nuances and hints and unspoken and intentions and moulding itself to fit. Creepy in the extreme.

Ow for the “it wasn't exactly Rusty who greeted him” and even more ow of GP for the “There was time”.

O12 and Isabel and “Who does she know?” and the knowledge that Rusty is lying, that Isabel has met Robert who is everything she ever wanted and needed and that there is simply no reality buried in Rusty except what other people put there. And so very painful, Rusty’s protestation that he can love because he doesn’t even truly believe it himself.

It was confusing it was powerful and it hurt. I think it's one of the best things you've written, I loved it.

Oh god. That was painful. In the best of ways, of course!

I love the parallelism of Danny getting stabbed in the side. Brought them together the first time, split them apart the second.

And I love how you worked that canon conversation about how many guys into it.

And... Rusty! I both love and hate how you did that to him.

I am so glad that you let InSilva talk you into writing this! And, of course, that you're so awesome and pulled it off. _