mountain tour guide hissing saying to my chocobo head soldier idiot why are you not kissing me right now

Tifa to cloud you can take that mask off now I know that it is you

cowgirl tifa to my chocobo head idiot are there any clouds for me to lasso and brand my name to

aww.. cute fic.. :D

This was just so cute! Very sweet little story.

Hi! This was posted long ago... but still, I like to review good writing. I wanted to say I absolutely love this piece of writing. I think you have captured Cloud's shy introverted personality very well - to the point where I feel sorry for him. It's a beautiful scene. It has some fluff, but it actually ends with this underlying sadness. I wanted so much for him to say something to her, but alas it was never meant to be. One thing that I especially noticed and kudos for this, is that you never mentioned their names at all, and yet I was in his head and the scene from the first sentence. Great writing!

I am in love. Come back, come back.

If I can do it, so can you. ;)

FFF.

WHY HADN'T I READ THIS ALREADY. Well, actually, it was probably laziness. Anyway.

I kind of loved this. The whole thing was well-described, and it didn't seem overly wordy, even though the whole plot was Cloud and Tifa outside the reactor, with his run-on thoughts all over the place. But the beginning was awesome - especially starting it out with Cloud remembering shoes instead of faces. That says a lot more than just describing with 'shy' or 'self-conscious'. It's little things like that that I remember most when I read a story. So, now when I think of a little Cloud, I'll think of 'shoe-watcher'. It's totally cute, really. :)

And I think the way you portrayed all of his thoughts killed me. They went on and on, and they were hilarious and anxious and all sorts of OMG CLOUD STOP.

They should have just made out, really. :)

And so, I wanted to try to give you concrit, and I usually fail at trying. But the way the story went, I think everything fit how it was supposed to. I enjoyed it a BUNCH, and you did a great job on it.

So while I was studying last night I realized that I'd been asking you to write more, but I hadn't even gone back and read the stuff you'd already written. Now I have some more stuff to read, during study breaks of course. . . lol. This story started out quite beautifully with the simplistic viewpoint of a child. As adults we kind of see the forest instead of the individual trees, but children are often the opposite. Also, imagining Cloud as a little kid was just too cute ;) I liked the relationship you established between him and his mother. I really think that Cloud was everything to his mother, and you indicated that by mentioning that her eyes shined a little bit brighter and she seemed less sad for a moment or two. I think she might have been a sad woman. I always got the impression that both Cloud and his mother were fairly isolated in the town, so they really only had each other. This would also explain his extreme rage at Sephiroth when he killed his mother. Sorry, lol, you didn't talk that much about his mother in this, but few people really touch on his close relationship with his mother. They always focus on Tifa, Aerith, or Zack, but I think Cloud and his mother were also very close.

Aw, my heart melted when you mentioned the little white shoes. I knew exactly who you were talking about. Lol, man-eating butterflies was a nice description because it kind of reminds me of how a child would think.

Lol, Zack probably would laugh at Cloud if he knew about how scared he really was to go talk to Tifa, or at least I could see Cloud thinking that. I think in the game Zack actually knew, but Cloud was so closed up about it that Zack just kind of glossed over it all. I can still imagine Zack giving Cloud a hard time about it, but then offering to help him out. That's so sad that Cloud doesn't even realize she's thinking about him! Actually in the game I kind of chuckled when Zack introduced himself to Tifa. He said something like, "That's SOLDIER 1st Class, 1st Class!" I got the impression that he was kind of trying to impress her, but she just walked away. Lol, Zack always was a bit of a flirt. . .

I really loved the line, "Maybe about how much she wishes she could get away from him, or how much she wishes he was Zack or Sephiroth, or maybe about a knight in shining armor who would whisk her off her feet, instead of a grunt in a Shin-Ra uniform, who, for all he knows, is developing some sort of deviant foot fetish, when her skirt's up to there and he's still staring at her shoes." It's just SO Cloud! He's very self-critical, and yet he can't help but want to stare at her legs and butt. Yes, lol, her skirt was pretty short. It would be super hard for Cloud not to notice.

I can't help but laugh at poor Cloud. He's trying his best to stay calm, but random things like the way she smells interrupt his logical thought. You touch on his extremely low self-confidence again with this line, "Poetry's obviously not his strong suit-not that anything is. . . " That's just very much a part of young insecure pre-Nibelheim Cloud.

Lol, and then Cloud goes off into his little fantasy world with Tifa for a few brief seconds. I imagine Tifa was the object of many of Cloud's fantasies. . .You can't help but not like him here. He's trying to be so perfect for her, and at the same time not give himself away by acting like an idiot.

I laughed at the vagueness of this line, ". . . she'd definitely be kissing somewhere a little lower than the tip of his brow." That leaves a lot of room for the imagination :P I bet Cloud does imagine her kissing him a lot lower than the brow, lol, a lot lower. . .

I like how Cloud's inner voice sounds a lot like Zack at times. I imagine that Zack was a big influence and role model for Cloud, which also touches on the fact that Zack is so much a part of him that Cloud takes on his persona after he breaks.

I really liked the reference to gods here because you touched on the fact that fate just has it out for him. Poor Cloud doesn't ever seem to get a break. It was a very nice transition from the cute fluffy scene to the tragedy that was Nibelheim. It must have seemed like that to Cloud also. One minute he's talking to Tifa, and then in the next his world comes falling down. You referred to Tifa, as his Tifa, which I think is interesting. He's actually very possessive of her, or at least that's what I've read, and I think that shows how much he really does love her.

This was so beautiful! This is how fluff should be done! It warms your heat without making you feel like a marshmallow brain. I wouldn't mind reading Cloti fluff if it was more like this. . . Anyway, I really loved it _ The ending gave me goosebumps. The words were just so perfect, and I had to read it more than once because I liked it so much. What I liked so much about this whole piece was that it really gave you an idea to who Cloud is and what he feels. You can feel just how nervous he is, how he's madly in love with Tifa, and how hopeless he feels in the end. That feeling of never being good enough stays with him for a long time. Anyway, I shall be back for more later! Maybe tomorrow though because I have to cram for that test. . .*cries* ;_;

Kitsune13 recommended your writing to me (not just this story, but your writing in general), so I thought I’d give this story a look. Needless to say, because I’m here reviewing, I like it a lot. It’s a perfect companion story, but it’s also good as its own piece. I love the whole take on Cloud remembering everyone’s shoes instead of their faces, because it says a lot about his character without him actually having to say it. Cloud is so adorable with how nervous he is around Tifa, and how he is distracted even from his nervous train of thought by how good she smells. I also like his unintentional poetry; it had me torn between feeling sorry for him and laughing. Maybe he HAS been hanging around with Zack too much, lol. It was hard for me, while reading Kitsune13’s story, to not be able to know why Cloud was blushing or reacting the way that he was. This story completely fills those voids though, and makes me feel like I have the rest of the story, rather than just reading an add-on. Wonderful job, I thoroughly enjoyed this. :)

I loved this, loved it to pieces. While the plot itself is small, it was explored so fully and with such a great introspective look into Cloud's cute little chocobo head that that in itself makes it seem so much larger than it was. Excellent, I thoroughly enjoyed this. Well done!

AH! So perfect! :D That was the greatest Cloud-as-a-teenager-with-Tifa-in-Niblelheim story EVER! So cute, so sweet, so sad, so frustrating, so amazing! Tehehe! :D

*squeals*

Oh- hahem. Time to be serious.

NOT! XD

I think you did a super duper job with Cloud's INEVITABLE mind babbling! It is definitely like him! Oh, but it made me grr when those monsters suddenly came. It was inevitable, but I still don't like it!

Boo.

But oh well, you did a great job. And Cloud's little rhymes were hilarious and dorky, and perfect!

I don't think there is honestly anything wrong in your story to point out, so I guess I'm done here!

Thanks,

~Syzeria

D

Good story, but that was sad. A tragety. u_u

Poor Cloud.

Love it

ClOTi rules

Loved this story-it's great!