This was a good story.

This was uh-maze-ing! Love the detailed love making!

madameHunterr.

God I feel dirty just favouriting this...

Elika ftw :)

You nailed the 1st person thing perfectly. Great work :)

I can only describe this in one word:

Hot

awesome

i love it! great job!

that was really cool.I liked it :D

You have wonderful characterization and description; combine that with one of my favorite pairings and you have a fantastic read. Light, romantic, and wonderfully erotic, your writing is a joy to read.

Your flow might be helped by a few edits towards the beginning; not all dialogue lines need a tag. Even action tags can slow things down when really all there is is the characters talking to each other.

But thank you for the fic. The 2008 PoP needs more love.

This is quite possibly the best, most beatiful, and most romantic fanfic I have ever read! You made my heart ache! You did such a wonderful job convaying both thr Price's and Elika's emotions! You handled the sex scene so perfectly, taking care to make it romantic and not lewd! Please, if you do not do more fanfics with this pairing it will break my heart! Thank you for such a wonderful story!

Amazing, the words were beautifully written. That sounds exactly how they both talk.

I liked it a lot D good job

Well, first off, a well renown congratulations to you! For, indeed, you are the first writer to post a fanfiction of the new Prince, and Elika on this website and, for which, I am very very much obliged! Quite frankly, I have come to develop an innate liking for this particular Prince over the other one, after playing the 2008 game, if not for the aforementioned pairing overall, and their in I thank you endlessly for what you have done! (Well, posted, rather XP ...) Furthermore, I stand quite impressed! Is this truly your first attempt at a fanfiction? For if so, it is quite well done, at that! I might go as far as to also say, one of the best that I have witnessed amongst the entirety of the sight itself! Don't get me wrong, you have quite a ways to go, as does any young writer, not excluding myself, within the premise of their writing and its posterity, but, very much so, I still find you to have produced quite the exemplary work here!

Anyhow, constructive criticism-wise, so as to deliver you some various feedback and ideas to stand so that you may make this excellent piece more excellent than it already is and as well, to, later on, keep stored by way of the internal recesses of your mind for the betterment of your writing as a whole, here is what I have to say - albeit, it's not much that I have commented on, but I do so wish that you look over it and use it to your advantage as I, myself, have written avidly for a notable amount of time over the proceeding years and cannot help but meddle in the affairs of other writers by sharing what I've learned thus far XP And, well, you have just written for one of my favorite gaming couples, so ... But, anyways, here's what I have to say:

- Well, I'm just going to jump right into this. First, your piece is very good. For the most part it is very much in character and I highly commend you for ngratulations! You have succeeded in what over half the people on this site have failed at doing! Actually, all sarcasm aside, you really do write these two's personalities to a tee, and quite well! As well as with the Prince's voice shown throughout the narration of the piece, constantly making sure to make stay the continuity of his voice and the "in character" factor for his personality throughout, yet I find times where this almost conflicts with the detail that he describes his thoughts on particular matters at hand with. In these places, the way the Prince talks almost conflicts with what you as the writer could be describing a million times better. Take here, for example, where Elika turns back to the Prince and stares at him with longing after he pleads her to wait. Here he comments on her staring at him, saying that she stared back at him as he stopped her and so that meant she really did care for him and so it was enough to brighten up his day exponentially. And that's all well and done, but, all the while, the sentence comes off as somewhat confusing in its logic. How does her staring at him tie-in to him reaching his second conclusion that she cares for him? Obviously it is actually the look that she has given him here. But don't just imply it as you have done in your sentence already, by her "staring" at him;say it. Actually say that it was that "look in her eyes", for instance, and then expand upon how did she look at him? Was it with ardour, angst, longing, yearning? By expanding upon it, you , by this, will not only expand the moment in which this occurs and in that the Prince catches this imperative signal that she emits, but the emotion throughout the piece as well. For it is not just here, but there are similar places in your work throughout, just as this, where you could expand upon simply the nature of a singular action, portray it in further description and, by that, strengthen your piece as a whole by strengthening the bare yet pure angst and longing between the two. This, I find to be your largest flaw as a whole, and if you were to revise this piece with this point in mind, and perhaps my other points below, as well, I would love to see the end result of what you could do with this.

- Next is dialogue, though this work of prose possesses many diverse and strong points. I find that at times, to be quite frank, during the point where Elika and the Prince make love, the dialogue is sorrily lacking. Gah, I wanted to cry! I sat there thinking to myself, "Oh, she could make this so much better if she just added a little more!" For during these particular sorts of scenes, feeling and emotion remain so insanely crucial and in this case the lack of dialogue between the two is what inevitably off-sets it. As cliche as it sounds, moderate sweet nothings, just light conversing sprinkled throughout from one to the other would make such a large impact on this piece. Something, perhaps, along the lines of:

-"You're beautiful"(this could be said as he looks down and stares at her naked body or as he come in to kiss her)

-"I want you"

-"I need you"(said by either of them, though preferably the prince. Actually, the "I love you" he speaks to her has a similar affect to this)

But something along these lines. Believe it or not it's stuff like this that can completely pull off, and depending on the situation, sometimes even make or break a piece!...Furthermore, I found it odd that as circumstances become quite heated, the Prince cries out Elika's name, yet Elika does not cry out his. And it comes off as, well, not awkward, to say, but it was as if I was waiting for it throughout the piece but then it never came and that almost served as somewhat of a let down. Now maybe you didn't do this because the Prince truly has no definitive name, perhaps you just forgot? I don't know. However, her calling out his name, even if it just is "Prince" that she calls out, would almost bring together that one moment you portray throughout in which Elika really does let go for a single time in her life; no walls, no barriers, no self-duties or duties to others - just them, them and the obsidian night and the primal emotions which they would otherwise, never address. Even above those of my aforementioned points, this I would adore seeing you act on so much, as it infinitesimally peeved me the first time I read through your story and I would love to see how it would turn out if you changed the fact.

Other than that, that's really about it! Besides the incessant game of cat and mouse that occurs between Elika and the Prince which goes on amongst fornication which I, at times, find can be somewhat distracting to the emotion of the piece as a whole, other than that it's all I have to say. Now, you don't have to listen and go straight out acting word for word on all the advise I have given, but I would love you to consider all I have commented on and maybe even that you would withhold it in your mind for future reference. I thank you for this fanfic, for it is SO WELL WRITTEN and then again for reading the ludicrous length of my review! Hope to see more work from you soon!(Perhaps, even more for THIS pairing *pouts with puppy-dog face*)Cheers!

-Sakura Kisuke

O.O This is seriously your first fanfiction? This very well written.

Wonderful, wonderful, exquistite writing style. Wow :D

And I am happy i found a story about the new prince and elike...in my opinion the better prince xP

A. Yes, that's a shout of joy and wishing that I had finished the game before seeking out fanfiction... Haha, wonderfully done darling!