I enjoyed it, please continue

PLZ post again I know it says u updated it on August 24 2010 but I really need to know what happens it is an awesome story plz plz plz post again!️

please continue

Wow, that pretty intense. I also hope, you make more chapters ;)

love it Please keep going! _

Again, plot is awesome, but bad spelling and grammar make it confusing in some places.

Please keep writing! I can't wait to read the rest of it!

sweet can't wait for more .

I really enjoyed reading this story. I hope you get to add more soon.

Ah, yes, that third chapter's getting interesting (argh I really want to know what will be happening next, hehe! *_*).

I like the small thinkings of Todd, when we know a little what's inside his head!

I wasn't going to review this as I found it almost impossible to read, which is a shame as the idea is there.

What you have presented us with is almost complete dialogue, which is great if you're writing script for a play, but there is no depth, no emotion, and we have no idea where the characters are, or why they're doing whatever they are doing? You are also jumping POV and that is confusing...

Spelling, punctuation and grammar still need tightening up.

Anyhoo, please don't stop because I have been critical - find a really excellent beta reader who will help you get to grips with these problems so the story can be as good as it promises.

Take it easy.

Thanks for updating, the story is getting interesting, please update soon, thanks.

ooh, this IS going to be fun!

I love this story, its well writen and funny at the same time. it is very intertanting to read and is has Todd in it. please update soon.

The idea is there, and it's a great idea, but you really need to develop what's going on more fully by giving a little more description. It won't do any harm either to check your spelling as I spotted more than a few mistakes, which a couple of other reviewers also suggested.

I would also advise that you do not need to give us a running commentary regarding your scene changes e.g.

'*Hospital*Eight P.M.*' as they are unnecessary, and your readers should be able to pick up any changes for themselves.

Have fun. :D

A nice idea for a story. You might like to check your spelling eg "John throw himself into a plastic chair."

Like the little critique of the US health system - got to have someone responsible for the bill! The idea of them walking round NY as tourists is great.

Look forward to reading the next chapter.