boo beginning sucks

me gusta

your chapters are really hard to read. It constantly seems like the POV is changing, without notice.

This is very good. Even though there are some language barriers. To be honest i absolutely loved it! This is a very very good story. I wasn't too sure where you were going with having Vrael in love with a girl with the same name as Eragon's niece and to be honest i don't think i understand it even now that i've finished the first book. I hope it becomes clear in the second one. Or by then end of how ever many books you plan on writing about this. I want to read so much more! as for whether or not you went too far with the love scene... Honestly from my point of view you did not go that far i have scene more. However I would like to give you one thing for advice. I have to say that if you are going to write a scene that goes further than this. like as they call it on here "a Lemon" then i think you should make sure the rating on the story is M. just so that if anyone wants to filter out that kind of story it would be easier. If you have any questions about what i have said here please send me a message. I would be more than happy to try to clarify what i have said.

I gave up writing an essay just so I could read this. It was well worth it though, I adored it. I like how you didn't just stick with one main POV or two, it was fascinating getting a few views of the same time period. And the whole Eragon seeing what was happening to Amirea thing before he even knew her was good. Reminded me of when he was able to see Arya in the Shades grasp in 'Eragon'.

And considering english isn't your first language I thought you did really very well. There were a few instances where you used the wrong word or your grammar was off, but I figured they were forgivable because I still understood your intent. And your writing vastly improved as time went on. (particularly the last chapter)

Anywho, I'm off to see if you wrote the sequel now.

Thanks for writing this. :)

Pen.

Marvelous job on the adjectives describing Arya. One I question I had was why the man always revered to Arya with a capitalized You.

love this story so far. :) I just love the personification you use with Saphira. I can't wait to read your other stories.

Poor, poor Roran... walking in on the ambassador of elves and his little cousin :D Funny in an awkward kind of way

Oooooooh... don't listen to me :L I really enjoyed your story. Well done for the plot, it was thought out well.

:D Yellow Mouse :D

I'm liking the story so far but who is the not-so-uncle? I'm probably missing something knowing me...

I loved the ending! I wish Roran hadn't walked in :(

Oh... nvm.. :3

Aww! Why her? She was only a kid... *sob*

Oh, and by the way, what was that girl's name? The end of this chapter was a little confusing but I'm not one to ask questions... D :p :3 D

Wow, I liked this chapter... I love all your Arya POV chapters, they're like... epic. :3 :p

Oh my... lol... I would feel terrible if I just said that then the person I was talking to started laughing... :3 lolz!