Excellent work. I like how you cast a significant shade of gray upon the conflict between the pirates and Beckett's men in the film with this. Your OC was well-done too, in the fact that he actually feels like a person. He's vulnerable, of the correct age for his profession, and he has others he greatly cares about.

Beautifully done. I'll never look at Rule Britannia the same way ever. Loved how you captured the essence of the moment so vividly. The initial indignation the poor chap feels at the EIC defeat, regret about leaving his loved ones back home and finally the very conscious and defiant decision to go out with a dignified an exit as possible.

Hey! This is beautifully done! I am delighted I finally got round to having a look at what you have written. You have combined a seldom used point of view, a vivid vocabulary and a well paced progression of events to make a truly compelling impressive:)

Mrs P:)

Such thought seems to have been put into this. This was your first fic? Incredible, I'd never have guessed without the author's note.

"He stumbled onto the plank, more aware of each pounding heartbeat than the last." You really created that feeling of iminent death, of the end coming. His being more aware of his heartbeat as it drew to its last beat just seems so tragic.

The thought of this girl Abigail, whom we've never even met makes the ending of his life even sadder. Someone is waiting for him back home. Especially his little brother Lewis. The way you described him as his brother's hero and friend was something beautiful.

I'm impressed, really and truly. You've got this.

~Fleet~

This was a very creative and original idea! What an interesting thought to turn that situation around, and look at it from the perspective of a marine, and an anonymous one at that.

It served to illustrate the plight that so many nameless men faced in those battles nicely. This was not some decorated officer or notorious pirate, but just an 'everyman' who could be us.

Very nicely written. Your prose is detailed, bold and mature. The entire piece read very smoothly.

'All the virtues that his years of disciplined military service had cultivated in him were dead here, foreign coins that could not be used for barter.'

I especially loved that comparison!

The echo of the hanging scene from AWE is very powerful here, with the splashes of his doomed companions substituted for the dropping of the trap doors below the nooses, and the song was perfect for this story.

Nicely done!

Cheers!

Nytd

that was sad, but i liked it. in a sad sort of way. i liked the veiw from the redcoat about the pirates, which was probably the same way the pirates feel about the redcoats. it was good.

Wow! I would have never come up with that! This was very interesting! Great work! :D

This was a very interesting piece, and very well written for a first fanfiction :)

Like I've said to you before, I really like the point of view you've decided to take in this. We don't get to see many fics that explore the mind of a nameless red coat, who is going through the motions because it was his duty, while our main characters are fighting it out for the main cause.

"Heavy chains clinked as he raised bound hands and ran one finger down his cheek. Chilled and soaking wet, it was, like the rest of him, stuck in that uncomfortable place between adolescence and adulthood, the childish softness giving way to sparse stubble. He searched his mind for an age, yet in his state of numbness none came. Eighteen? Nineteen? Younger? And how young had he been when he had first seen the Dauntless’ rippling flags and majestic sails come soaring into harbor, and had with glistening eyes announced to his mother that he would give anything, anything, to serve on a ship like that?"

The detail and emotion you written in this particular passage was very real and I felt very physically connected to this character at this point, and I love it when a piece can make me feel that way about anyone.

"Rage twisted his expression; teeth clamped down on his lip in an effort to keep his eyes from reddening with bitter tears."

More thunderous emotion and I love it, this line works so well, I can almost picture him in my head.

The song at the end was a very nice touch. I like that you were able to parallel 'Hoist the Colors' and ‘Rule Britannia’ together to show how, even though the pirates and the Company were rivals and different in so many ways, there's one moment that ultimately brings them together, and everything is twofold.

I like that you stretched out your neck on this one and given us something interesting to sink our teeth into.

Great start! I'm looking forward to more of your fics in the future!

Hello sis! :)

Wow, I didn't know you could write this well... You already know my opion of this, so I won't go into too much detail.

Beautiful! It was really... really moving. So sad to see this, and I love the way he thinks. Man, I wish my ideas were as original as yours. :)

Usually, something like this would turn me away. But this time (and no, it's not just because your my sister) I really *wanted* to keep reading. It didn't bog the reader down with useless information - you kept it swift, yet powerful!

Really great job!

I can't wait for your next story! ;)

Regards,

-RiverOtter1 ;)