You write beautifully. I hope to read more, update soon!

I don’t know if you’re the type of person who likes long reviews, but I can tell you that I do because it shows me that my readers are engaged in what I’m writing, but anyway…. Get ready for this long speech. xD

I have just come across your story and I must say I was instantly intrigued from the beginning of the first chapter. I found it well written and believable. Their pain is evident and I loved it – it reached somewhere deep. It touched some string in my heart to see Jake in so much pain that it actually brought tears to my eyes.

The next two were even better. I loved the insight of the Omaticaya people on Jake’s behalf and that also seemed very believable and true. The fact that they believed there was a monstrous impostor among them made it very easy to conclude that they would seek some sort of vengeance in ridding him from their lands. But of course Eytukan has to see some sort of boundary in ending his life without a fair trial, (for Eywa sees in protecting the entire balance of life and all that stuff). So I thought you interpreted that amazingly well!

As for when Neytiri comes to his aid in the cellar made this more enjoyable! I love the way they interact together – it’s beautiful. She’s always looking out for him despite her better judgments and that’s what makes them so ideal! You captivate their emotions amazingly and beautifully. Neytiri is a strong-willed character with a strong suit and I think you wrote that true to her name.

But... I thought you were doing wonderfully until the very last chapter “Fix You.” I’m sorry to say I can’t see this happening at all. It’s much too dark for this type of fandom, I think – it’s actually much too dark for the Na'vi, especially Neytiri and most of all Jake.
Jake is a warrior as well as Neytiri and to see Jake do that to himself is unbelievable. Don’t get me wrong – I’m totally for the whole “Out of Character” thing to a certain extent, but when it becomes way too far out, I turn away. I understand what they went through was traumatic and most definitely heartbreaking, but I believe Jake would try to overcome that trial rather than dwell and let himself sink into the abyss of depression. That’s just not his character. Jake is a fighter and Neytiri is always describing him as “Strong hearted with no fear.” That’s very true as Jake has shown us that countless times.

I can see where you would want to show the vulnerability and fear everyone carries (even Jake) but that’s too much. And I TOTOALLY love the whole tortured and dwelling character that’s looking for some sort of redemption, along with the love story where the two characters have to go through some grief to get to be together…. but for this fandom I think it’s too out of character. The Na'vi look to the future rather than dwell on their misfortunes as well as Jake.

Besides that I absolutely LOVED your stories so far! They are beautifully written (even “Fix You.”) I hope I can see you update soon and continue you lovely journeys. I would just try to stray away from the “dark” ideas you have. Maybe lighten them a little bit.

Even if you don’t choose to take my last advice I’ll still follow your work because I find them beautifully written!
Update as soon as you can please!

~ Lilly

Love, love, love it! I've been dying to see some darker material from this movie, thank you for delivering!

It was very, very good. I like it :) You dont need to apologize for any of the grammer mistakes you made. Your english is very good. Its much better than my second languages. :)

That was intense. While you work on another chapter,I'm going to read it again!

this chapter was beautifully written! it made me kind of sad though, but the funny thing is i keep on saying Neytiri's lines outloud! i guess i really got into it!

Ok, so in chapter three, neytiri comes to jake, right? but im a bit confused, y's jake in jail, and have he and neytiri not met yet? bt, in the first chapter they knew each other, im kinda confused...

What more can be said then, wow. I feel so badly for poor Jake and Neytiri. Jake for all the guilt he feels an Neytiri for everything she's doing trying to help. I love a story that puts you right in the characters an this is doing it big time. Looking forward to the next chapter.

very very god:D

That was scarring. Which is good, because you actually made me feel horrifyed. I rate how good stories are by the way they make me react, and you extracted quite an amount of emotion there... I love how you wrote it! Awesome beginning! _ Now, onto the next chapter...

beautiful

God leave the poor man alone already. I swear there's gonna be nothing of him left when ur done putting Jake through all that torture! More like ur gonna suck all the life outta him! Lol :D

Oh yea, GO James Cameron at the golden globes huh?

FYI: Going to see it again tonight. Possible obsession in development.

i like where this is going and really love their interaction in this chapter.

...but im a little confused... was chapter 1 just a oneshot? also this chapter seems to be set in a place different to the pandora in the films and books, with chambers, doors and bars... or it might just be me?

though im looking forward to the next installment to this piece!

Gosh I'm so glad I found your story. They're amazing! I can't wait to read what you have in store!

WOW! Very nice. I want to hear more, especially if there's character turmoil. Sorry, I'm a sucker for that sort of stuff. ;)

Inky