Cool story. I like how you put it together. Definitely not an angst fail. However, there's this part of me who cannot cope with angst, and I keep trying to make this a story where they come back

TEARY EYED...that was just so sad... I can't believe that they died or "He" died. That just can't be true...Can it? Well I'm not sure about mistakes but Great story-line. I hardly feel anything and let alone cry, so your story impressed me. Now that I think about it I only feel anything when I have a video game, or anything else.

Honestly, I have no idea what started the joshua/rhyme parrings...

Sorry this is your fic. And I have to admit it's pretty good non-discriptive enough to leave you wondering but still had clousre at the end I will give you an 8 for a job well done.

Now all you have to do is make a fic explaing what happened to the boys.

I liked this story. It gave me a warm feeling inside. I like angsty mixed romancy ones. Thank you. :)

Aw. This makes me cry. Seriously. DX So sad...

w-woah, really nice. :D

i loved every little bit that you wrote in this fic.

thank you so much!

Was that a Twilight reference? Tsk, tsk. I pity Shiki more than Bella. That was a sad comparison. But I guess it's pretty good for being an year old.

This isn't angst fail.

-RV

Beautifully written, imo.

Hopefully fluff comes soon.

I quite like it Angel Very sad, but I still liked it. Indeed.

Okay, sorry- I need to finish my mindless gorefest, I know.

Interesting...

If I had to hazard a guess, I'd think this was from way back in the day, much earlier than now-the styles seem quite distinct, that is, the style of this piece as opposed to your current mannerisms in writing. It has a rather...halting tone, much like how William Shatner portrayed the Captain that we all...know and love...for his...eccentric voice.

I feel like this, the story's structure, is simultaneously the greatest strength and the greatest weakness of this piece. On the surface, the broken text forces the reader to stop about once every three seconds and think again about where to go, so the function for the story seems much less continuous as others you have written. On the other hand, it's one of this story's greatest strengths, as it is a metaphor for Shiki's emotional state at the time-how denial of a simple truth can cause the entire world to shatter and have her thoughts be halting, stopping and restarting in a different direction like a molecule in a crowded enclosure. It's hard to say which wins out-despite the flow of the piece being punctuated like this, I felt like you still did a good job in capturing her emotions without the need of an omniscient third-person narrator. Well done!