AWESOME! I LOVE IT!

Hahahaha. It was actually cute especially when Ciel said 'shut up' and I like how laid-back Sebby is. :) My only advice is to break those huge block of texts to smaller paragraphs and put a little more details or elaborate further, add some words that are interesting, and... keep up the good work. It was short but I guess it really didn't need to be long. It's nice that Sebby don't only help Ciel through others things than 'that'.

Mwahahahahahahaha! Love it

haha! loved it! classic sebby ciel smuttiness! and i dont know if this is just me or if its other people also...but you need to put more spaces inbetween your sentences! when they are bunched up like that i makes it hard to read...for me anyway!XD!

Hmm, being objective I'd say that the biggest problem with it is your paragraphs. You need to break your work into smaller paragraphs. (I've had this problem too and now have to force myself to find where to put the breaks.)

Especially when your work is electronic, because the black and white color with light behind it is a hard strain on the reader's eyes.

There it is, my words of wisdom! Lol. I liked the story overall though, so now worries there!

ew :) That's icky you silly :D

Skilvh's here! Nice job! Well done!

Advice: you need to elaborate more of the plot of the story. Make it longer? Make a few separate paragraph so it's easier to read and to build up more tension. A few missing details here and there, but it's alright. Minor mistakes only. You've got potential considering this is your first story.

Ah yes, I like it.

with much sincerity,

Skilvh.

(p.s. Shilvh's currently out. -giggles- for more info why I wrote Skilvh only, read my profile. lol :D)

(p.s.s. current mood: quite stable -cackle-)

cute! I can some how picture that happening. Good job on it!

it was really good, but you failed to mention what sebastian did with his erection? but i really liked it though it was a bit short.

you have to have moar! there must be moar!

i think that was prety good. a bit on the short side but it was so much better than the first thing I wrote.

Good job for your first time. The only way you can go now is up.

tee hee Sebastian called Ciel a naughty boy.

It was supper small, but Hot!

you should write more! :D

So cute~ And awesome for a first story. Ahh, the first review for your first story X3 I feel special~

Ok, it was very great for a first story.

I would seperate the paragraph like when someone else starts talking

"Ciel would says something" Ciel Said "Ciel continues if he continues talking"

"New Paragraph was Sebastian starts talking" Then you can continue off in saying detail like the chair is red that he was sitting in or something

Sorry if my instructions aren't that good.