Daaaaaaaaamn you go Yugi!

Perfect last line bro! Beautifully written!

~Kairi

I have no words

Well that escalated quickly

I’m 8 years late but had to come to say this story was INCREDIBLE! Going into my favorite stories bookmarks, I’m so glad I found it! I hope you still read your reviews just so you know someone is still appreciating your story to this day :)

WHAT THE SHIT JUST HAPPENED

Good story in geNeral, but i flinched at the rape parts. No having to go to the afterlife, cool as well.

Well, as a first thought, Atemu's opinion about Yuugi thinking of Kaiba as an optimist was eerily similar to what I thought, which was amusing.
This was definitely a very nice ending. I loved that you made that little time jump to show a bit of their current life after everyone adjusted to the situation. I also liked the light ending in general, it was not too detailed and not too short, a well balanced middle and a welcome change after the partly very dark events during their journey through that magical world.

But let’s turn back a little with where I left off with my other review. The aftermath after what happened to Atemu was heartbreaking, but it felt realistic as is the sad case with such events. At the beginning I was surprised by Atemu's strength and he seemed mostly hateful and nearly not affected at all. I even waited for the moment he would lash out at his tormentor and try to get away. But that changed and it became clear that it was a coping mechanism that quickly broke when he was confronted with too much triggers. That really was a heartbreaking moment and I honestly wanted to kick and kill everyone who molested him at that point. Which is why I loved Yuugi's entrance, how he shoved everyone away who dared to touch his lover. I got it that he was even ready to kill for what had been done to his dark half or at least injure that man heavily, but it was a surprising but lucid decision from Atemu to hold Yuugi back, especially considering the state he himself was in. I think it was his right decision to hold Yuugi back though, because at one point, when everything would have caught up with him, Yuugi might have had a hard time to cope with his actions. I cannot help but wonder, though, if Yuugi had known at that point that this man had violated Atemu, would he have been able to listen to him still? How far might his anger have gone? It’s an interesting idea, but I guess we never found out. Still I couldn’t help but wonder.
Then of course there was the aftermath of what had been done to Atemu. I was glad to see he could allow himself to be slightly touched by Yuugi still, but it was hard to read how he shied away from nearly everyone, even his own partner now and then and how Yuugi realised what must have happened. It was just a small comfort that those two had the connection they had, because I think if that had not been the case Atemu would have had a harder time to even allow Yuugi to touch him.

I was also very surprised with that scene with Damien's lighter half. I have to say though, the way this man acted fitted more my idea of how the lighter halves would be. He seemed soft and saddened, not understanding that his state was not right, thanks to the brainwashing he had received. After Sugoroku departed it made me wonder if he would not one day turn his back to the town and return to his darker half especially if the supervision lessened, with the destruction of the entry to that world. There seemed to be some longing left and who knows how many more lighter halves felt that way and would one day reconsider what to believe.

Now about their escape. I have to admit, this is the only part where it all felt a bit rushed. Just as the others I expected a bit more difficulties for them to escape. That Moira had only acted in the shadows so far and I thought she would confront them as well at one point, especially when it turned out that her wish about Yuugi's fate and that of Jerolin differed. Admittedly okay she was unaware that Jerolin had left his post to inform Ismene, but with how strong Yuugi turned out to be and the high alert they had been in, it made not a lot of sense to me that only one man would have been sent to interfere with Yuugi’s and Atemu’s escape, especially when Jerolin failed before. Ah well, I think this is simply a matter of opinion and expectations, so don't worry too much about me pointing this out.

Besides, that final confrontation in the museum made more than up for that. I loved how shocked and confused Ismene and Jerolin were when Atemu took control of Yuugi's body and that they never even realised who he was. They never understood till the very end that Atemu had never been a dark half in that sense but simply a soul that shared a body with another person. In my eyes this means they have even wronged him, but I also think they would have never understood. And I liked the little twist that Ismene turned out to be a bit stronger than expected and that both Yuugi and Atemu had to struggle before they were able to finally overtake her. I'm not really sorry when it turned out she and Jerolin died, I was certainly not sorry for him and I guess it was unavoidable that she had to die as well, otherwise this sick ritual might have continued at a later point once more.

Your closure was also very interesting. Just like Yuugi at first we did not exactly know what happened and what was going on. I suspected quickly that Atemu and his parents must have ended up with their own bodies, but there were indeed a lot of questions. Some were answered when Yuugi's mother confronted jii-chan with the events of the day during her little breakdown, but it felt more fitting that answers had to be given from different sources, like Atemu, his father and that some things had even to be answer by someone totally different like the Ishtars. I am a little bit sorry that they have not shown up at one point, it would have been interesting to see their reaction to Atemu's body and his parents suddenly being there. But at least you included hints of how Seto dealt with the situation - not surprising to me, even though it might be a bit of a cliché that he now constantly wants to duel Atemu. I do have to wonder however if it ever occurred to him to also challenge Yuugi and get his ass kicked, because I still consider Yuugi Atemu's equal. Not to mention it would have been funny to see poor Seto reduced from second place to third place. Okay, back to the facts, this was just a bit of a mind game in my head.

Oh and what I really want to thank you for is your version of how Atemu now functions just fine with all the knowledge of the modern world he gained from Yuugi. I was really happy about that one because there are a lot of stories out there that have Atemu with his own body and struggling with everyday machinery and such. I always thought of that a bit wrong, because Atemu should have Yuugi's memories of the world to rely on and he never had a problem to use anything, including computers and other things before when he was in control of Yuugi's body. So that never made sense to me and I like that you approached this just in the way I myself imagined Atemu would live if he gained his own body.

Also, it was a nice lighter scene when Yuugi's friends showed up during the tense discussion with Yuugi's mother. Jonouchi's entrance especially was hilarious, even though there was the sad moment when Atemu had to force himself to stay calm with Jonouchi having him in a playful headlock because he was still suffering from the aftermath of his trauma. It was however funny how his father reacted, not used to the customs of the modern world, so thinking there was an attack and then Yuugi's entrance confusing and shocking his friends.

All in all the final conclusion was thankfully light and promising. Life will continue and maybe magic will be involved again, but for now there is simply the mundane everyday life and people who start to adjust to that. It was nice to see that everything worked out fine and even Anzu was supportive while naturally having to go through her heartbreak, now that she lost her chance with both Atemu and Yuugi. I think that you wrote this in a realistic way. Both teens are still her friends, so she would not abandon them, but of course she has to struggle with her heartbreak and it will take some time for her to return to her old self.

Oh and an afterthought. With their mind link still in place, I can just imagine the safety of exchanging secret messages with each other in a way no teacher will ever find out, how comfortable that must be to communicate in school.

Well, as I've mentioned before, this story was definitely worth the reading. It had been a joyride no matter what I might have pointed out before. The only last thing I'd like to mention is, that I did notice the one or other spelling mistake, but while they could not be ignored, they were not so bad that it destroyed the reading flow. Your writing style itself is nice, it's good to understand, easy to follow and just good to read.

Thank you very much for sharing this story with us, it has been a pleasure to read.

Sincerely

Atemue

Well, I fear I have to do a feedback in between. Originally I wanted to wait till I was done with the whole story, but for me, this turn of events decided for a little response on a reader’s point of view.

First of all, so far this story has been amazing and very interesting. I have to admit, when you wrote at the beginning that you were partly inspired by Capsule Monsters (CM), I had been expecting that all of Yuugi's friends would have been with him, just as it had been in the anime. I was also amused to read that you liked the general idea behind CM, because after I watched it I felt the same. In my case I guess I had difficulties with the series because I had a hard time dealing with the US approach to YGO. I watched the original in Japanese, where the content differs greatly from the so called "translation" of the American or in my case the German. Sadly the CM is not a Japanese production, and it showed. Still, as you've written, the general idea was very interesting and I've been playing around with my own ideas as well for some years now in my head. I’m glad someone took the time to sit down and write down what came to mind.

Anyway, back to your story. No matter if I like Jonouchi and the others a lot as Yuugi's support, I found it soon very interesting that there were only Yuugi's Jii-chan and Atemu's parents. That had a nice twist and after they all came together it developed more and more into a family situation in my opinion, with Yuugi and Atemu struggling with their relationship, Atemu with his missing memories while Sugoroku and Atemu's parents tried to understand what's going on and coming to terms with the situation and trying to support their children. Then there is Atemu's past of course and the looming future aspect that when he regains his memories he's supposed to leave for the afterworld, which especially Yuugi fears greatly. All in all, you've been able to build up some really strong, emotional moments.

I also liked the surprise of a character from Season 0 turning up. That game was interesting, especially since it was designed in a way that Yuugi could not have won, otherwise he would have, I'm sure of that. I loved that moment when Yuugi however decided to stay strong and not give up. In fact I loved all moments when Yuugi for once showed his powerful side. I'm glad that he is not constantly the "damsel in distress", because I've never seen him that way, he had been growing so much as the original story developed and he became such a strong fighter, just like Atemu, only that he is more the silent type, as had been said later in the manga: the silent duellist. I love that aspect of Yuugi because people continued to underestimate him, to see only the vessel and yet he beat up one after the other like Marik (when he broke his control over Jonouchi) and Bakura. With that in mind I was at first a bit disappointed when he started to become so unsure in your story and seemed to relapse a bit into how he had been at the very beginning of the manga. But when I read further I could understand where you came from. The goal of their enemies seems to be to fuel insecurities in the light sides to lure them away from their dark halves. Like that it makes of course sense that Yuugi one last time is confronted by everything he feared in the past and might not have fully overcome yet. And then there is prove of strength again, because even with the relapse and with his disagreements with Atemu, they have found their base again and again and have not been broken yet. So far Yuugi still refuses to be separated from his dark side and he is ready to fight.

As I've said, that's why I love the story so far. It's a good plot, well written and it has amazing twists.
Now though, I have to come to this chapter. Admittedly, I have to say that this is partly influenced by personal opinion, since I have a strong dislike for fanfics that include rape. Usually when I see a warning that a story contains rape, I tend to avoid them or think it over very, very carefully if it's worth the reading. If I read it, however I tend to view it very critical, but I really try to keep this constructive criticism and nothing more. While I had no headstart in this one, since you didn't include that warning in the first chapter, by the time I reached this chapter with its warning, I was too hooked with the events and your writing to ever consider abandoning this, as it had been such a joyride till now. However, I already found myself frowning in the last chapter when it was hinted that the dark halves were captured as slaves and used for labour, pleasure and such. I can see the aspect of them being held as slaves in general, because the light halves think of the dark ones as tainted, evil and beneath them. So the idea to force them to do labour like some punishment for committed crime makes sense from their twisted point of view. However, using them for sex somehow disagrees with my understanding of this world you created here. As I've understood so far, it seemed the light halves wanted to be as far away from the darkness as they could for fear of being tainted. But keeping them as slaves, worse, using them for pleasure, in my personal opinion that contradicts the whole mindset of those light fanatics.

Then there is your character Jerolin himself. In a past chapter he said that he was interested in women only and now all of the sudden I find him fascinated and captivated by Atemu, when he even resisted that magic pull at the beginning to sleep with his own dark side as had happened to others, just like Yuugi and Atemu. Of course there was his mentioned preference of wanting a slave that has not been broken yet, but again, he refused an unbroken male before because of his gender. As I've said before, it might be a matter of personal opinion, but for me this turn of events came over a bit too shallow and not really thought through. It seemed more like, "oh let's heighten the drama by adding a rape scene with Atemu". Try as I might, and the suspense of these sudden turn of events aside (which would have been high enough already with Yuugi and Atemu separated and the captures beating our poor Pharaoh to keep his strength down), I cannot find myself to agree with what happened here, not with the way Jerolin had been introduced before, it makes no sense at all. It would have made more sense if he had been at least bisexual, then this would have fitted, seeing as other enemies had also voiced their interest and attraction in Atemu before, but as it stands, this scene feels like a disruption of a till now excellent flow in your writing. I also got the feeling since the last chapter, that lately most of the light halves are really evil in character. They ruthlessly use helpless people for sexual pleasure, enjoying torment and causing pain. It disagrees so much with the understanding I had at the beginning when Damien explained that the darker halves are those parts with the violent tendencies and those not strictly attributed as saints. I also remember that he said that without their dark halves the lights halves become obsessive with something and I could see that with the first opponents Atemu and Yuugi faced, those who were so very obsessed in separating them, in trapping Atemu alone in this world while sending Yuugi back, convinced they would be saving Yuugi this way. Blinded by that obsession I can see and understand that they would not even consider taking spirits forcefully from their afterlife or going against the light halves will as something bad, they would only see their belief of doing good to the world. But with Jerolin’s introduction, I had for the first time the impression of someone being truly sadistic and evil, not someone who was obsessed with something and that threw me off the loop.

I do hope I have not offended you with my critique for this chapter, especially since the story itself is some years old already. I really tried not to see this from my "I don't feel comfortable with rape fanfics"-point of view but from how I understand the world you created and how I interpreted the characters you introduced. Of course, especially with an OC, it's always the decision of the creator, how the character acts and changes, but that doesn't mean that readers can't see contradictions, which I did see with your approach on the slaves and on Jerolin.
For the record, I have to add though that I am at least thankful that for once it’s not Yuugi who turned out to be the victim. When I noticed the warning at the beginning of the chapter I had been fearful for a moment, because I noticed that YGO seems to be one of those fandoms with an overuse of Yuugi being seen as weak, girlish, abused and raped. Of course I still would have preferred that there had been no rape at all, but at least you did not follow a cliché here and for that I’m thankful. Atemu’s treatment did fit into your introduction of how the slaves are treated in earlier chapters and you also did not go into great detail, that’s also a good thing.

In all honesty right now I'm very much hoping that for once Yuugi will be the one lashing out in one of the next chapters. Maybe not killing Jerolin, but at least make him suffer and make him suffer good for what he did to Atemu. If Jerolin is the example of the way a light persona should act, I would never want to be around light persons ever and certainly not be labelled one myself, honestly, most of those that had been introduced as “light” are just disgusting and awful. If they think dark halves are evil, then they are supposed to be dark in my opinion and those they have been declared dark are the light, because so far they had been the nicer and saner people. Not to mention Atemu, even though he is declared dark, has always been a good person with a strong sense of justice. He is of course a person with faults, just like Yuugi, just like everyone, but he has a good honest character and I've always seen him just as lig

I really enjoyed this entire story. Poor Yami :(
But glad Yugi was able to free and rescue him.

OH MY GOD! This was an amazing story. You have no idea how awesome this is. I have never seen a story like this one in this fandom. I was up until the sun rose reading this story. Then my internet decided it was going to crash, so i slept eight hours and read the last chapter. I absolutely love this story. Thank you for writing it.

Could you possibly write a one shot of Atem's parents returning to the afterlife and explaining everything that happened in their 'new lives.' Perhaps have Atem and Yugi appear at the end of the story, having passed away, and Atem making a sarcastic comment?

Great story!

Such an incredibly unique story! I'm a little beyond words! Thanks so much for writing this

When I read this story it had me on my seat from start to finish. You built a grey and vivid setting and culture but didn't let it consume the fic which is great. Everyone is in character and written in a way that makes them seem like real people. You handled Yami and Yuugi's relationship wonderfully! Not enough people delve into the confusion such a thing would cause for them and their actual dynamics.

The plot was interesting and kept me reeled in all the way to the end, and the ending was great. Open ended enough not to feel forced, but with a clear resolution. Loved this story from start to finish.

that was excellent I really like this story great job excellent work

I love this story! It was one of my favourites the only thing I would say but you can just tell me to beat it if you want lol is that Yami's rape was never really concluded, but then i suppose it could be left to the imagination of how he got over it, but I would have liked to have seen it written! But still a fantastic story, you should be proud of yourself!