Dark Tumnus? As cool as that is, I still like sweet Tumnus more. I wonder what a fic would be like if it showed this, then showed Tumnus going toward the light, being influenced by Lucy. Maybe you could write it as an add on.

The Lucy-Tumnus scenes in LWW are some of my favourites in the entire series and I LOVE the different perspective you've put on them. I've always wanted to know what happened in that gap where Tumnus is captured by the White Witch too- don't you just love how many missing pieces Lewis left behind for fic authors to take advantage of? :P

Anyways, well done!

I had to read this twice to fully comprehend this. It was so, so subtle, if you don't pay attention you'll miss it all. It really helps capture the portrayal of Tumnus as being sly and conniving, quietly planning.

I like how you twist most people's perceptions of canon characters. Despite the usual sympathetic treatment of Mr. Tumnus, I could totally see him with a secret ulterior motive now after this. Good job!

!darkTumnus An excellent, conniving take on a cannon character. I have always thought that one of the excellent things about the film was the way that Tumnus was aligned with Nazi collaborators. I don't know if that's what Lewis intended, but you do see that very strongly here. Also, the irony of being a double agent is that no one really trusts you.

You do a great job of conveying that very economically and powerfully. Super job.

Wow, what a different Tumnus you've painted here! And actually, I find him a lot more believable than canon Tumnus. He's so greedy and conniving-I feel terrible saying that I like this version better than Lewis'...but I think I do!

I love how you capitalize all the pronouns referring to Jadis. I do that as well-I think that's really the only way ::to:: do it (though I suppose it depends on which character is interacting with her).

And I love the last line...how terrible, to be encased in a stone shell with only your thoughts! Do you suppose he's aware of the passage of time?

GREAT job...I was excited to see another Narnia story from you! :)

This is awesome, Winged; I'm really glad you put it up! The short form is really well done here - bam, action, bam, thoughts, no words wasted and we're left with so much! This is a much slimier, slier, and in my opinion smarter (canon Tumnus to me has much life experience and practical wisdom and is a great friend and even advisor, but I've never seen him, especially in LWW, as the smartest of chaps - maybe it's those books he reads) than the norm. And I love how you've woven it into canon so that it's still all the same action - just, now we're left wondering what on earth is going to happen when Tumnus gets de-petrified! Will the Pevensies ever know? Will he be on their side? This is a much more cling-to-those-with-power Tumnus than the great friend we have in the canon, and I loooove it!

And oh! On the reread here I saw that line about why give the hankie to Beaver! I'd missed that before but it's so awesome - a hint of desperate hope, that he can't even really understand, that despite his duplicity his friendship will mean enough to Lucy that she'll help him! Love love love!

Ooh, dark! Very alternative look at Tumnus. I don't think that ever occurred to me before. Good job!

Lion keep you,

Eavis