Aww, this was really cute without being too fluffy! w

It so cute TT
Great story Writers like you inspire me A LOT
Greetings!

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*dies from cute overload*

this was beautifully written and so adorable and sweet 3

this is SO KAWAIIII! I loved it :D

aww how cute 3

...You are much much welcome. I apologize for not leaving a comment earlier, but back then I was using my cell phone.

Lovely story, incredible amount of fluff, makes me wanna FLY! ::nosebleeds...::

I repeat, great little story here. D ::hands over cookies and a Yue plushie~::

Hathor...

Okay first of all, I have no idea what the heck Mendelevium is saying because the story was a little too short to be as judgmental as he/she/whoever was making the review out to be. It was simple and sweet and they dragged it out and overall sounded ignorant and rude. As a writer, people like that just make me delete their review. They're not helpful, they're bashing, demeaning, and over the top. No one deserves the sort of verbal garbage that was spewed by that person. Ignore them.

The narrative isn't confusing if you just read it and the sentence structure is fine. There is a repetition concerning the usage of names but little things like that betas catch if you have them. If not, mistakes like that will be made. There's not an author alive that doesn't need an editor, they're there to catch those things.

The story was meant to be simple, short, and sweet. You accomplished that.

- Catriana

I do agree - the fluff can be almost nauseating, but mostly because you cannot pull it off. Your writing style does not suit your word choice, and vice versa; thus, this entire piece has the rhythm and balance of an aardvark on a rubber bouncing ball on a horse, trying to shoot a bullet with a small bullet. Not that I would know. Aardvarks may have very good aim.

However, I must make a point. Your narrative is confusing, as is your sentence structure. The first sentence is a burgeoning arsenal of badly described actions coupled with lurid adjectives that only make it worse. The voice of the narrator does not fit with the voice of Clow, according to the Word of God (term courtesy of ), and your characterization, although adequate to some degree, may be described as atrocious. I would rather have Stephanie Meyer's purple prose; at least it is more evenly distributed, ridiculous as a Greek-God-Adonis-marble-pale-SPARKLY Edward is. Forgive me for the contradiction, of course. The Greeks were in the Mediterranean area, and had healthy amounts of sunshine and Vitamin D.

Overall, I must recommend a complete revision, a certain type of writer as a beta-reader, and some action films. Although the lack of grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors are remarkable, I cannot even commend you for that. A pity, as things go.

Awesome

That was very good! I just love stories that focus on Yue!

With Love

Lady BloodDove

THE SILENCE SPEAKS