Oh no, why are you so mean, Hibari? Yamamoto's feelings got hurt! Not to worry, though. Hibari will open up to you easily, Yamamoto. All you need is more persistence! Besides, Reborn said you were a natural born assassin! /Hibari/'s the blind one, if anything, if he can't see that.

Yeah, basically, you just turned me into a blabbering fool that talks to 2D characters. Crossing my fingers real hard for a sequel "in a couple of years"? :D

well, can you make a continue of this story?

Hm. First off, please don't take this down. I quite like your stance. I can understand your frustration with ooc Hibari and Yamamoto. As an 8018 author, myself, I worry constantly about my portrayal of these two. Sometimes, I'd go back and read what I have written and hit myself over how out of character they are. However, I can also understand that fanfic authors aren't the ones who created these characters. We write fanfics to satisfy our wishes. We give these characters we love so much a little something of our own desires. It's difficult to always keep a character in character when we don't know half of what these characters are really like. So we keep some of their behaviors the same but add in a bit of what we perceive them to be like. If we write them the way we see them all the time, then we wouldn't be writing anything remotely fanfiction. I understand that we write about these characters because we love them. Their personality, characteristics, looks, etc. But, we also write to exaggerate these, because we love them so. I guess what I'm trying to say is, fanfics aren't perfect. That's why the review button exists. It takes a lot of guts to post a fanfic. The least a reader can do is come up with constructive criticism and advice so that the author can better understand their favorite characters, and therefore, be able to write even better.

Anyway, enough of that. I really admire you for pointing out this flaw in 8018 authors, even if you might get some flame for it. It got me thinking of my own writing and how I can improve it.

So, the fic you wrote, I liked it. Gokudera's advice was classic. Very like him. I liked the more mellow Yamamoto too. His never give up attitude and quiet determination fits. You made him simple but realistic. Less cheerful, but it works. I also liked how, at the end, Yamamoto's determination and never give up attitude came through. It showed a calm Yamamoto who represented his element well.

Hibari was harsh. I think that you might have gotten his perspective of Yamamoto wrong. He's fascinated with Yamamoto's strength. In the manga and the anime, Yamamoto has this hidden dangerous side that isn't at all herbivore and Hibari knows this. Many 8018 authors conceive it as a wolf in sheep's skin. That's why Hibari is so fascinated with Yamamoto. He wants to fight him. So, I thought Hibari's character was kind of off. He was too harsh. If he didn't want Yamamoto around, he would have beaten him up earlier. Though, I guess, I can also perceive it as Hibari studying Yamamoto the whole time he was with him and finding that Yamamoto wasn't worth his time. That's also plausible. Hibari sure is one tough character to figure out. :)

What I really like about this fic was the reality it presented. Hibari falling in love is like hell freezing over. It just doesn't happen and if it does, it'd take years.

Also, what really caught my attention in this fic was that there was no chemistry, whatsoever, between Hibari and Yamamoto. It kind of punches you in the face. Wakes you up. And I loved it because it was real.

After reading it again, I got to say I like Hibari's words about not being able to recognize a carnivore. It shows the Hibari you were trying to portray. The Hibari who's too far out of reach for Yamamoto. I can totally get the image of Hibari looking down on Yamamoto. The scoff was good too since usually Hibari would have hit Yamamoto . The face reconfiguration part was funny.

Overall, the fic was good. I thought it could have used a bit more polishing, but, overall, it was good. The characters were pretty much intact. Some things were inaccurate but that's okay. The general feel and point of the story came through. And for myself, I gleaned off quite a bit.

Thanks for writing this. I hope you get to read some better 8018 fics. If you want, I can certainly recommend some. Please don't take this down. I also look forward to seeing more 8018 fics from you. 3318 doesn't seem too bad either. On a side note, I sincerely hope that my constructive review has in no way offended you. I just don't want you to feel bad for writing this. Thanks again for your story! Hope to see more! :)

Out of curiosity, how many Yamamoto/Hibari fanfics have you read? There are a lot of amazing fics for this pairing out there, but as with anything, you're going to find stuff that's OOC or simply not very good. I have the same problem, but often I've noticed that the same writers who portray Hibari as something he isn't are just as bad with Yamamoto; they only focus on one facet of his personality - the baseball-loving, good-hearted, friendly dude - and write him as some dumbass who can't string two coherent thoughts together. And really, the same could be said of Hibari. There's more to the guy than just beating stuff up and hating everyone. These are not problems that are unique to writers of this particular pairing, though. I've seen them both wildly OOC when paired with virtually anybody else. It's just something that happens with fanfic. You get incredible stuff, and then you get some crap along with it.

The fic was interesting. It's certainly more plausible than something ultra-fluffy involving these two. At first, I was worried that you'd written this just to bash the pairing, which is not cool, so I was happy to find that it's a legit fic. I liked it, although I think Hibari's perception of Yamamoto is a bit skewed - during the future arc, he seems to be quite aware of how strong Yamamoto has become and even displays an unusual interest in him, and there's no doubt Yamamoto could hold his own against Hibari, even if he probably couldn't beat him. Other than that, it's quite good and believable. It's a little painful, but tinged with a bit of hope at the end, which made me smile. The style's good, the interactions are believable - I honestly can't believe you thought it was crappy! I do hope you decide to write more 8018 in the future, because I think you'd be quite good at it. You've got both of their characters down pretty well, and if you decided to go there, the dynamic you create between them could prove to be very interesting. Best of luck, good job on the story (don't take it down!), and I hope to see more from you!

Sour TT