Why did you delete the other chapters? I wanna know what happens next

You did it! You actually did it! You pulled the soap opera "hero hospitalised by the bad guys" shtick. But you just weren't satisfied with that alone, were you? So we also had every single damn cliche that goes along with it! 1) girlfriend sobbing at his side 2) brother going out imediately for revenge 3) villian acts all triumphant and hitlery and shit. ONLY good parts are when the people leave the barn, but grandpa staying in character is very funny. Where was I...

Oh yeah, HOW COME NOBODY CAN JUST FUCK IN THESE?! It's never just a lemon with these pretentious assholes, is it? No, there's gotta be a WAR and crying girls and brave, chivalric men, and ELEVEN DAMN CHAPTERS! Just. Get. To. The Fucking! It's just, who asked for this? Who said "hmmm, not enough fanfictions with everything exactly the same. Hey, why not disguise a Boondocks version of one of these as a sex story but really only rarely bring up sex! Because, I know it's lemon, but too much sex will distract from the obvious ending. Let me be keen to guess. (ACHEM). Riley heals and he and/or Huey beat up Brandon as his eeeevil empire collapses before him. If only one girl is captured, the other one is like a Rambo badass because fuck it. And they all impliedly fucked happily ever after. Is it anything removely like that? Let's see.

Oh, Jesus Christ, just get to the fucking FUCKING already! I can't believe this! You've successfully had wet dreams, why in the fuck is all this "Plot" shit? My rule of thumb is have a maximum of 5 chapters for smut. Because see what happens when it gets longer? The fucking it was supposed to be getting to is now deluded in an actual story. Tell ya what. Why not just make two separate fanfictions: one just fucking with little emphasis on story, and the other where their actually involved in events with little fucking. Can't you at least have like a disclaimer that says one which chapters erotic shit happens? Because this is ridiculous.

Ah, yes. The boy in the love story taking on the persona of "detective" (then again, realising the attackers are racists is fucking obvious) this characteristic, common aside this afore mentioned one dimensional villain, is also usually seen near the "girl in romance is tough, strong but needs the boy in romance who is strong, and grow to become less the character their supposed to be into a bland serious one. Now, I get that characters evolve and need to change to fit accordingly. Otherwise they become a character trapped in stasis. However, after reading many a fanfiction, the character, usually a boy who is a lively NOT BORING TYPE, must now become serious and protective because that's what you do when you're in wuv. Just read any Invader Zim Fanfiction that goes on for too long (most fanfictions that go on too long become hokey).

Or shit, just look at that Calvin and Hobbes M rated Fanfiction that's on it's third different story, each of which goes on too long, has the fun and lively Calvin become dark, and brooding, and surious, has a bland, evil just for the heck of it villain resulting in hilarious endings, but worse of all almost no Hobbes plus the characters can basically be anyone due to how out of character they act. It's only got Calvin and Hobbes names on it so they can use the transmorgrafier or as I like to call it, the Deus Ex Machina Gun. That's the main sticking point for me, though. Why make a fanfiction and change the characters identity? If your going to make up a new character, make up a damn new character! It'd be like me making a Teen Titans fanfiction except Robin is now flamboyant and sassy, Beast Boy is Rastafarian, Ravens a Jewish stereotype, Cyborg is just the name of their car, and Starfire is a street whore, oh, and no one in this story has powers or fights crimes. Get it? Just using the names doesn't mean you're using the character.

Well, sorry I just went on a tantrum about my least favorite fanfiction that became remotely popular. Anywho, I hope this doesn't become that. Just fuck already. Bye.

Ah, yes. Every smut fanfiction (or fanfiction in general) needs the one dimensional villain who just kinda appears just to make an over the top and unnecessary climax for what essentially should have just been a romance that, in the end, has fucking. Seriously, he's like a southern Sith Lord or James Bond villain. "I see, so the infidels/rebels have staged an invasion through fornicating with our superior women. It is of no concern to US, however. For soon our death ray/evil plan will be fully operational. First, Woodcrest, then the WORLD! MRWAAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHAAHA!" Except, ya know, stupid. And a hick. "SheeeeOOt, Billy-Bob-Ray-Dan, I's shure like them ladie persons!" "Hyuck, they sure are perty, huh Clem Jedediah Bojangles!"

Update?;)

wut

Make the rest

UPDATE!

I like this Damien dude. His comment in his conversation with Huey made me chuckled lol;

"Uhh, Huey. Would you have told me that you had a cousin in the Black Guerilla Family?"

"…Touché."

lol x)

Damn, look at Huey getting that nigga K.O. for flirting with Jazmine behind his back! He deserved it!

Ouuuuh, looks like Cindy got a makeover. Riley was like " DAAAAAMMMNN!" I thought the same thing too when I read the description of her makeover lol! Anyway, nice chapter :)!

Daaaamn Huey and Jazmine are freaks :D...wow! I didn't expected that form those two but they make a great couple! You go you two lol!

Aww..Riley defended Riley and couldn't stop thinking about her...aww too cute! He even drew a painting of her and the outfit that she wore at the supermarket. Ok it's official, your story is too cute !

I'm gonna continue reading and reviewing it :D! Now on to chapter 2-

Dude. When I got to the end of this chapter, I was hoping to press the "next" button...awesome quasi-cliffhanger, btw. Why do I have the feeling that either Brandon or Jazmine is gonna get whipped. If Jazmine gets whipped, Huey'll snap...which will definitely be interesting.

Wtf? Why is that dude so racist? He's father is right the world isn't just about color some people need to realize that.

Huey and jazmine dang! Do y'all ever rest? Lmao. Awww what Cindy wrote. So did she want Riley to see that? Hmm the beat up truck is that racist guy? Ahhhh! He said he loves her! Can't believe Riley caught her naked lol thats a bit strange.

Well Riley that was an interesting dream or vision I guess. Omg she was pregnant lol awww! Smh Riley and Cindy should seriously admit they like each other now. Ooooo Cindy! Sitting in Riley's lap. Yeah girl! Hm strawberries and chocolate well thats cool. No but seriously strawberries dipped in chocolate is really good.

Ahhhh they said they loved each other! That kiss man now that was intense Lol. So does this mean they're together? Hopefully so. I can't believe she gave them a condom Lol thats crazy!
UPDATE SOON!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHH! Riley didn't dream that! That was so...intense?Lol in search for a bettter word. HE HAD A WET DREAM ABOUT HER?! Lol that is wow. Cindy know she dreaming the same thing though! Ok ew he stayed in it. Wait been in worse? Gross! When Huey said he was gonna cut his throat open I swear I felt the same thing about my friend. He was over my house and feel alseep and had a wet dream. I swear after that I let him keep those sheets (oh p.s we didn't sleep together he was just visiting and fell asleep in my bed). Just if you were wondering ;). Lol she lying! Cindy wanted to where that for you Riley. Too funny I swear.
UPDATE! :)

LMao! Riley Riley Riley smh. This was hilarious. Hm I wonder if that really works because if so I'm so trying that! ;) lmao Damien seems really cool so yea I guess I won't get TOO suspicious. The way Huey kicked that one boy ass though. Lmao! I love that. Cindy and Riley though I can't wait until they get together when they do I'm going to fall out my seat laughing. Idk why I know its just gonna be funny .