Powerful.

Aw Neal. You have Peter and El. I know hey aren't your friends like Kate and Mozzie was. BUt you still have people in your life.

Awwwwww, can't he ever get a break? (Goes off and continues writing WC fic) Excellent job!

Oh my poor baby! I enjoyed this very much because I live and breathe angst! Thanks for posting this.

You write angst so well. Oh my gosh. This is just too perfect :o

perfect!

Awesome! Loved the Neal whumpage. I really find it amusing and touching when he breaks.

Great fic, it felt believable and you showed Neal's pain really well! :)

Oh, where do I begin with this?

First of all, your grasp of the English language is excellent. The way that the piece flows is superb; everything falls into place so neatly. The only way I can describe it is akin to stacking books: you've piled on the deep emotions, but you've done so in a way that doesn't make the story topple into saccharine territory. It's believable and heart-wrenching. If this had been a real scene in the show, I'm not sure that I would have been able to watch. As it stands, it should have been written in-not that I wanted Mozzie to die, of course!-but the way you handled the "what-if" aspect of it is stunning. It's worthy of being put in a script, and I'm being honest.

I've heard of having your heartstrings tugged, but in this case it's fair to say that you've ripped them to shreds quite efficiently! Please don't take that as a criticism; I mean it in every way possible as a compliment. I'm blown away by the smoothness of this work, as well-not once was I confused, unsatisfied, or left wondering what you were trying to convey. It was all so very clear, and I'm awed by how brilliantly you handled such a despair-filled, heartbreaking subject-fanfiction as it may be.

I could picture every scene in my head as if I was watching the show. I could actually "hear" Peter's voice as he talked to Neal.

For me, the line that broke me was this:

"He was now officially alone."

I was finally and completely shattered as you described Neal's anguish. I've gone through periods in my life like that, and I can tell you from experience that you captured the pain and sorrow beautifully.

You truly have a gift for writing! Don't ever lose it!

Blessings,

muses_pet22

OK...I read this earlier today but couldn't see to review. I just had my friend (who is reviewing this as I type) to read. I reread and we both are sharing a box of tissues. You cut my heart but Peter being there for Neal was awesome. A tearjerker (obviously) but with the bit of hope and comfort at the end that makes me know that Peter will get Neal through it. I love the relationship/bond they have...sometimes as brother...sometimes almost father/son...but always there as a 'literal' shoulder to cry on. I big time wow and a crumpled tissue (just tear-soaked) are thrown your way. 10/10

That and there is something tragically beautiful about a controlled person breaking down. This is written so well, I love it!

I enjoyed this story because I think it could have been this way. But I don't agree Neal is easy to break. He doesn't show his emotions as much as some of these stories seem to depict. It took a huge happening, Kate's death in front of him, to cause the break down in Out of the Box. The confrontation with Fowler was also because of Kate's death and that was another break down, though he worked through it. Peter is making Neal stronger through this life changing disaster because of his friendship.

AWWWWHHH! this was soo cute! the ending is wat makes it reallly sad! good job keep up the good work! :)

i love your fic ! i love all deathfic ! i'm a specialist of deathfic. Congratulations, it's very very very good. I cried and it's rare.

WOW... That was powerful. The way you capture Neal's pain at the first. Absolutely brilliant, and that's all I can say.

~Kanae~