Its good for a first fic. A simple plot fullfiled at the end. One thing I noticied, though, is the large amount of dialogue compared to scene and actions. You might want to balance that out. Add meat to the plot's bones, so to speak

Awesome!

Ok, take part of my last review back as I did like this story. Very nice putting Rika in a Sailor Moon costume. lol. I've always thought Takato and Rika belonged together. And Henry and Jeri. Those pairings are much better tha Takari. Sorry for my last review but I'm getting so bored with reading silly Takari stories. There's too many. Plus I really do genuinely hate Takari stories that involve Davis bashing. It's those stories that totally put me off Takari. Hope you can understand. I never had a problem with Takari. It's Sorato I detest. But when I started seeing loads of Takari stories and only an odd one of Daikari I started getting bored with it. Plus there was Davish bashing and I totally hate those stories so I've started not liking Takari.

Anyways this was a great story, I liked the pairings.