So I stumbled over this story of yours and was totally drawn to it until I realized it has already ended... I liked it a lot. wished for you to continue but I guess I have to deal with the open end as it is. thanks for sharing.

oh man, that's such a downer. but i love how raw it is. great writing.

cheers!

Very cute and sweet! thank you!

So unfortunate it's longer, like ten chapters longer. I like everything about it, especially Lauren's observation of how naturally and easily Bo flirts and touches.

Please write more!

This is beautifully written, Loved it!

Really enjoyed it, all the nuances to their interaction and the fragile hope in Lauren's heart. I only wish there was more story.

I love it. I really like that we get to hear from Lauren.

-Kate

Nice.. really nice.. i too didn't like epi 8 that much but then i stopped to think and i now find it was necessary.. Lauren will have to have her own battle now.. her loyalty to Ash against the true feelings she has for Bo.. i hope she finds her way.. but anyway.. i liked your fic and i hope you write more about them soon..

I liked this and wished it were longer, but I noticed something:

In the future, the second paragraph could be improved if you solely concentrated on Lauren's desire for Bo's touch. Currently, the second sentence is jarring to read, because it is about Lauren's desire to touch Bo, and it is surrounded by sentences that talk about Bo touching Lauren(or at least Lauren's desire for it). In effect, the sentence doesn't fit in the context where it was placed. The paragraph would be strengthened if you were to take that sentence out of the story entirely, or took it out and discussed it in a new paragraph.

Also, if you add more details, it will help flesh out your writing and make it better. Not that it's bad now, but everyone can improve!

For example, take the sentence "At half-past-eleven Lauren is bent over her baby, her custom microscope, stubbornly concentrating, even though all she wants to do is go home and fall into bed –"

So, what is she concentrating on? And of lesser importance, what is the deal with the custom microscope? Also, is she just wanting to go home because of a slow morning(as stated a sentence before) or is it something else? Just addressing one of those questions will make make your writing better and more realistic for the reader.

You did a really good job with the overall mood of the whole piece, and the last two sentences were killer, in the best way possible. It would be cool if you continued this.

I liked how you captured Lauren's slight awkwardness she gets around Bo and knowing she can see her aura. After watching "vexed" i do hope that wasn't the end of things. We certainly got to see how much Lauren really cares. As for Dyson his lies about not knowing anything about who Bo is hasn't caught up to him yet. Thxs again for sharing.