Reviews for Elective Affinities
SplitPersonaliti chapter 9 . 12/20/2019
I absolutely love this story so far, hope it picks up again.
OctavCat chapter 1 . 11/27/2019
I love this. I really love this story. I wished you continued of course... it’s really the kind of story I searched for. (Future fanfiction readers, if you see this comment, please read it, that’s so good...)

Already in the beginning you know there’s something special: never do we share Khun’s point of view. I actually hesitated at first. We already guess what’s up with him, and Snape’s reactions are so realistic.
I love the material you put into this. The scientific matter, the extracts, the German culture, the principles of Elective Affinities... it’s full of knowledge/mystery, it’s full of something at least.
I really laughed when (spoiler) Snape tells Khun that his Potions Professor must have been abominable.

I also like the relation you put between Khun and Snape. Snape is paranoid, he doesn’t care much about Khun yet the eyes and the electric feelings are evidence of his trust blossoming towards this new « friend ». Khun can be angered by Snape, who’s really annoying, but after all, when you know Snape, what he’s worth, you let it all pass. It’s so good so see that Khun has matured and tries to make up for his mistakes. To see him smile (and Snape wanting to tear his hair out for this) and to see him trying to control his anger remembering what’s at stake.

I also loved the experiment in chapter 3 or 6 or something, with the... cuprite? I got the meaning and metaphors behind it. It’s so fr**king beautiful. Red curpitd, black flux, green lion, Acide of Adrean or something, although I don’t quite get the white kaolin nor the gas. I guess it’s supposed to be a foreshadowing, so at least we can know where the story was going.

By the way, I feel sorry for B too...

I was quite surprised with how you portrayed Lily, not that I complain. It gives me more material for Gryffindor bashing I guess, heh heh... (sorry Gryffindors). I had read people describing how Lily was a hypocrite, but you’ve put it at another level. It’s easy to see the parallel between her behaviour (spying, anti-Slytherin) and Harry’s when he was little, although she seems even more unfair. The fact she first tries to « save innocent Khun » yet despises him at the first contacts, because he’s a Slytherin friend with Snape, while he didn’t do anything and keeps trying to calm her down, apologizing for nothing... while she keeps blaming everything on Khun and Snape... That’s very cruel.

I always prefered to think Lily had a strong character and was genuinly a good-hearted person but she was a) too innocent to understand and read between lines, b) kept ignorant about the Marauders’ awful, hypocrite and cruel behaviour (they did used illegal spells, mind you, and not only on Snape), c) too naive when thinking Dark Magic is always worse. Otherwise how to explain the doe, symbol of innocence and caring? After all, I do like Snily, and I can’t ship Snape with a dirty Lily.
But I guess depicting Lily as a hypocrite works too. I see very well how she would use Snape for intellectual benefits then let him out, make HIM feel guilty then go seek the rich and the famous. That’s why I like the... well, future relationship that’s going to take place between Khun and Snape. He’s Lily but matured and more caring and good-hearted, quite pure, and overall somebody who trusts Snape and really likes him. I bet Snape would find it disturbing to see Lily’s eyes on him, if he starts liking him that way, but I believe he’ll begin to associate the eyes to Khun, and not to Lily anymore.
Now that Lily is proven to be a b*tch in this story, I’m so happy to see her fail and get frustrated.

I’m quite surprised the Marauders didn’t try to break Khun and Snape’s relationship yet. Also, wow, I didn’t expect James to blackmail Lupin. In this case, I’m more willing to forgive Lupin, only to hate James and Sirius more. That’s why I wonder if Khun will do something about it. Maybe try to get Lupin’s friendship, support him in his transformations. If it saves an innocent, then all the better.
And it is very curious, how Lupin is absent for several days...
I really wonder if Khun, and even Snape, will try to become Animagi. Or if Khun will try to convince Snape to brew Wolfsbane if it exists, or even invent it.

Good to see that Khun’s trying to destroy the Horcruxes too. I wonder what will Dumbledore have to do about it, how’s Khun’s point of view before the Headmaster.

Again, you have such a way to write this story, to fill it with interesting events, it’s so good. I read it in one go, damn it. There’s such talent, and I’m happy to see the dialogues are not simplistic at all. Also the style, like when there’s suddenly an extract about the misuses of Occlumency when Snape kind of blacks out because he tries so hard to Occlude.

I’m so happy to have found this fanfic, I wish I knew how to recomend it (sorry for the spelling). I’m quite surprised I’ve found such a good fanfic.
Thanks for sharing it, even if it’s not complete. It helps the imagination and analysing of the characters
OctavCat chapter 9 . 11/27/2019
I love this. I really love this story. I wished you continued of course... it’s really the kind of story I searched for. (Future fanfiction readers, if you see this comment, please read it, that’s so good...)

Already in the beginning you know there’s something special: never do we share Khun’s point of view. I actually hesitated at first. We already guess what’s up with him, and Snape’s reactions are so realistic.
I love the material you put into this. The scientific matter, the extracts, the German culture, the principles of Elective Affinities... it’s full of knowledge/mystery, it’s full of something at least.

I really laughed when (spoiler) Snape tells Khun that his Potions Professor must have been abominable.

I also like the relation you put between Khun and Snape. Snape is paranoid, he doesn’t care much about Khun yet the eyes and the electric feelings are evidence of his trust blossoming towards this newfriend ». Khun can be angered by Snape, who’s really annoying, but after all, when you know Snape, what he’s worth, you let it all pass. It’s so good so see that Khun has matured and tries to make up for his mistakes. To see him smile (and Snape wanting to tear his hair out for this) and to see him trying to control his anger remembering what’s at stake.

I also loved the experiment in chapter 3 or 6 or something, with the... cuprite? I got the meaning and metaphors behind it. It’s so fr**king beautiful. Red curpitd, black flux, green lion, Acide of Adrean or something, although I don’t quite get the white kaolin nor the gas. I guess it’s supposed to be a foreshadowing, so at least we can know where the story was going.

By the way, I feel sorry for B too...

I was quite surprised with how you portrayed Lily, not that I complain. It gives me more material for Gryffindor bashing I guess, heh heh... (sorry Gryffindors). I had read people describing how Lily was a hypocrite, but you’ve put it at another level. It’s easy to see the parallel between her behaviour (spying, anti-Slytherin) and Harry’s when he was little, although she seems even more unfair. The fact she first tries tosave innocent Khunyet despises him at the first contacts, because he’s a Slytherin friend with Snape, while he didn’t do anything and keeps trying to calm her down, apologizing for nothing... while she keeps blaming everything on Khun and Snape... That’s very cruel.

I always prefered to think Lily had a strong character and was genuinly a good-hearted person but she was a) too innocent to understand and read between lines, b) kept ignorant about the Marauders’ awful, hypocrite and cruel behaviour (they did used illegal spells, mind you, and not only on Snape), c) too naive when thinking Dark Magic is always worse. Otherwise how to explain the doe, symbol of innocence and caring? After all, I do like Snily, and I can’t ship Snape with a dirty Lily.
But I guess depicting Lily as a hypocrite works too. I see very well how she would use Snape for intellectual benefits then let him out, make HIM feel guilty then go seek the rich and the famous. That’s why I like the... well, future relationship that’s going to take place between Khun and Snape. He’s Lily but matured and more caring and good-hearted, quite pure, and overall somebody who trusts Snape and really likes him. I bet Snape would find it disturbing to see Lily’s eyes on him, if he starts liking him that way, but I believe he’ll begin to associate the eyes to Khun, and not to Lily anymore.
Now that Lily is proven to be a b*tch in this story, I’m so happy to see her fail and get frustrated.

I’m quite surprised the Marauders didn’t try to break Khun and Snape’s relationship yet. Also, wow, I didn’t expect James to blackmail Lupin. In this case, I’m more willing to forgive Lupin, only to hate James and Sirius more. That’s why I wonder if Khun will do something about it. Maybe try to get Lupin’s friendship, support him in his transformations. If it saves an innocent, then all the better.
And it is very curious, how Lupin is absent for several days...
I really wonder if Khun, and even Snape, will try to become Animagi. Or if Khun will try to convince Snape to brew Wolfsbane if it exists, or even invent it.

Good to see that Khun’s trying to destroy the Horcruxes too. I wonder what will Dumbledore have to do about it, how’s Khun’s point of view before the Headmaster.

Again, you have such a way to write this story, to fill it with interesting events, it’s so good. I read it in one go, damn it. There’s such talent, and I’m happy to see the dialogues are not simplistic at all. Also the style, like when there’s suddenly an extract about the misuses of Occlumency when Snape kind of blacks out because he tries so hard to Occlude.

I’m so happy to have found this fanfic, I wish I knew how to recomend it (sorry for the spelling). I’m quite surprised I’ve found such a good fanfic.
Thanks for sharing it, even if it’s not complete. It helps the imagination and analysing of the characters.
moedango chapter 1 . 2/6/2019
please update. You can do it
SilentSnowLeopardNinja chapter 1 . 12/28/2018
Not sure I can finish this, it feels tragic already. Can Harry even pass as a native speaking German? Also how can Snape fall for such a piss poor deal? The guy already failed to withhold his end of an agreement, he renigged on a promise rendering his word if not useless than at least untrustworthy and does not even offer compensation. No, instead he demands that Snape take up a long term "mission" for him to appease his undeserved paranoia about a new kid that is sure to be fairly demanding/tiring with a promise of something vague in return at an indeterminate time as a deal. He's full of shit and I'm sad Snape doesn't see it.
LadyReilaofTeal chapter 9 . 7/22/2018
I love the way that you've written the characters. They seem so realistic and fit with the rest of the story. The way each personality reacts to the events that occur is well worded. I like the dynamic between Snape and Kuhn, as well as the other people that appear.
blaqfiniks chapter 9 . 7/5/2018
I loved Dius Corvus works... but I actually think YOUR story has more potential, simply for the fact that your characters feel more alive for me, and Khun has more canon-like air then Frost (Johnatan was kinda creepy and all too poweful at times but Adrian is more aproachible and doesn't stand out except briefly when loosing temper).
Therefore, it's really a pity it has not been updated for 7 years already. It's marvelous and I really enjoyed it so far...
Please come back..?
Lila Dunmare chapter 9 . 1/12/2018
Quite a shame that this is not updated anymore...
ZazzyLele chapter 9 . 1/7/2018
This story is so great! I love how you kept Severus so in-character (rare and difficoult thing to do) and I wish you'll come back to write more!
CrimsonMyriad chapter 9 . 11/18/2017
The only Harry/Snape fanfic I've been able to stomach thus far, even though it's unfinished and hardly got romantic yet. But actually, what I most love about this fic is the subtle political undertones and also the in depth exploration of Severus's genius. I just wished this fic had been finished and also gave a blinking explanation for what Harry was doing in the past! One of my favourite fanfics read thus far.
baobabB612 chapter 9 . 10/13/2017
Very interesting, I like your characters. They seem mostly canon except for Lily (but that could be because second-hand info on Lily is biaised), I appreciate that. I hope the story is not abandoned.
Guest chapter 2 . 9/15/2017
Loving it do far, but a minor piqué: "Yet this is child's play, he thinks with a pang. Annotating the school curriculum is amusing, certainly, but hardly a real challenge, hardly what Snape would call cutting-edge science"

Should be technology if not magi-technology or potions technology, certainly NOT science.
DirtyPuzzle chapter 6 . 9/6/2017
I like HOW you write, but I don't really like what it's about. I don't like the characterization of Kuhn that much because it feels very... I don't know, naive. I mean, I understand Harry is somewhat like that in canon, but I'm getting the feeling this is post-DH. Remembering taking a Killing Curse? That's post-DH or an AU of it. He shouldn't be that naive to Slytherins at this point, nor should he not have learned other spells. Only stunning and disarming? I don't know, it's just... underwhelming, I guess.

Also, the potions theory. It's kind of grating on my nerves. So they know about atoms, element density, atomic mass and atomic number, but they treat a simple replacement reaction like it's actual magic? AB C AC B is simple sophomore chemistry. For that matter, even by the 1990s scientists knew why these reactions happened. It wouldn't take long to find a reactivity series for anions and cations and figure out why aqueous solutions always replace with pure elements to form a different aqueous solution and pure element.

That and the whole battery thing from the last chapter. Um... why does Snape need to make a battery? It would just be easier to buy one? If he can make one that works in Hogwarts, a regular one should also work? There are easier ways to electrocute yourself? And how stupid do you need to be to purposefully ELECTROCUTE yourself?! Does he know anything of voltage or amperage or hertz? Not to mention common sense dictates not to EXPERIMENT ON YOURSELF WITH UNTESTED POTIONS. I don't know, it just seems really OOC for Snape to do this without full knowledge of what he's doing. And he obviously has no problems with using Muggle discoveries, so why not go full out?

And the fire, water, air, earth thing? I'm not sure if this is what you meant, but it felt like you were referring to the four forces of the universe: strong nuclear force, weak nuclear force, electromagnetism, and gravity. I can't be sure, but that's what it sounds like. Oh, and if you're implying that potions and transfiguration adheres to at least some accepted laws of physics then you've opened up such a can of worms. So many plot holes.

I'm sorry for the harsh criticism, but I don't like being dishonest. I will look into your other works because, like I previously stated, I like your style of writing even if I don't care for this particular content.
nikolasowa chapter 9 . 8/16/2017
Please update! ! ! !
Euill chapter 9 . 6/11/2017
This is so wonderful and I am extremely sad it's been six years since it's been updated. Your portrayal of Severus is absolutely magnificent and it's been a pleasure to read this. If you ever get around to read this review - thank you so much for writing this. And I'm genuinely sad to see it not completed.
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