Well written

Sherlock was way out of character in this fic. He could have deduced much more by looking at Ciel. Hmmm, you should read Sherlock, it's really interesting and besides will help you to write his character more appropriately if you plan on writing him again.

I hope by now you have read the Cannon of Sherlock Holmes and if not then you should. They are great. If you do not like to read you can always download the audio books from books should be free site. They are free to download. I love reading but I like to listen to them when I am busy working on my plushies. Surprisingly there is a lot of Sherlock/John in the original for us fans who ships them to be happy.
Any ways. Sherlock is way out of character. He has guides with biographies of all the important people in England and the royal families. Ciel being an Earls would be very well known to him and also by his very extensive web of underground informants; he would know that Ciel is also ...well what he is and what he does for the Queen.
He would also deduce much more by just looking at him without having to ask questions. Besides the only thing wrong with it is that it is too short. You left me wondering what happened with Ciel; because knowing Holmes he would not just stop a case like that...especially a case like that and with someone as interesting as Ciel.
I would like to read more :).

You have a lot of potential as a writer, I believe - but it would be a very good idea to wait to write more Sherlock Holmes after you've read the actual stories, because whatever you must have read in your library is very far from the original characters.

Even if you don't intend to write more Sherlock Holmes, do yourself a favor and read Sir Arthur Conan Doyle anyway, because his stories are wonderful and will inspire you.

I could not finish this. Unfortunately, I'm a huge fan of Sherlock Holmes, and he did turn out terribly out of character for me. I'm not sure what the condensed version of Sherlock Holmes is like, but I suggest reading the whole thing, for one.

Now, I'm sure he does have some emotion, but he's just a little bit twisted, you know? A realistic Holmes would have a more 'higher than thou' attitude, probably.

Actually, I stopped reading around where Holmes and Watson met up with Ciel and Sebastian. I might also suggest allowing Holmes to observe, rather than ask so many questions. In my opinion, he's too proud to inquire for such simple answers as that. It's embarrassing that he couldn't figure that out himself. This is the game he plays. He would not allow himself to lose so easily, to give in and ask. Again, he's too proud for that.

((And another loose note that truly is my own preference, but let me throw it out there! :P Watson isn't such a skinny man!))

Great story, and makes me curious what the lyrics were. Nice to see Holmes as anything other than an emotionless person.