Nice little one shot. I loved it. You should really change the "awoken" thing to, "she looked more awake." It sounds wrong, as it is now.

Thanks for sharing.

Wow! Great story, as a one-shot artist, I really envy your work! I hope that you keep writing,and I hope I can get as good as this!

Write more!

Awesome. So cute!

That was very good, if a bit short. I like.

SOOOO KAWAII!...it's feels weird for me saying this but...shoutout plz

I think it could have used more...fluff? Ya fluff the basis of a story is exposition, intiating event, rising action, CLIMAX, falling action, and resolution right? But your kind of lacking in some of those departments. I think what I am trying to say is slow down and add some details, some imagery, paint the picture in the readers eyes. Other than that okay job for your first time!:) Keep on writing!