i loved your story ! I really liked the way you wrote them, I can see them being normal teenagers !

gonna put you in my author alert coz i really liked it.

A really interesting piece. You have a good eye for detail, but you do go overboard. I still enjoyed this story and would probably read it again.

Awesome!

Not got far through this and I wanna throw up I'm afraid. Sorato sickens me as usual, but I wanted to give it a chance I suppose, plus can understand you putting it in as they happened. But Takari too? That's pushing it! That gross and dull pairing don't happen thank the gods and yet there are people out there who just don't quit. Takaris just getting old and boring now.

Also to be honest I dislike the way you've overexaggerated on Sora and Kari's looks! Mimi and Yolei were far hotter than those stupid little girls! You also failed to mention that tarty little bitch Sora broke Tai's heart. She's acting like how I'd put her though. Just with Matty boy as he's a damn rock star. Big deal! Tai's a soccer star. that's so much better than a rock star,

I'm sorry but if it does continue in this way I may have to stop reading. The only reason I read Sorato is the fact I can comfort myself in the knowledge that in the 25 years later part Takari doesn't happen and apparently, according to a reliable sourse, I found out Sora and Matty boy divorce. Spose the proof's there in the pictures. they're not close like Yolei and Ken.

They also weren't that close when they were younger. Matt was a real jerk!

Anyways sorry you had to read that. I'm sure the rest of the story is good as you are good with the writing and detail. I just hate how you've gone ott on that silly Kari and Sora. They're not pretty compared to Mimi and Yolei so I don't really understand that! Anyway I'm gonna stop now. lol. Sorry about the dislike parts and all that. Hope you can understand why I said all I did. The story itself is probably good as I said. I just hate Sora for what she did to Tai. And I hate Kari because everyone makes a fuss about how she's so special and pretty and she's not. Sora and Kari are plain!

continue please :D

ROCK ON! that was hot! one of the best stories i hve eva read 4 quite a long time! go Sorato! cant wait 4 more ficz frm ya!

You're a decent writer, but you do have a tendancy to over-describe things. Describing is good, yes, but don't overdo it. It gets too much and your writing loses power. So pull back on it a bit.

Your bias about certain characters was obvious, though. Yes, I'm talking about TK and Kari. (The story is supposed to be about Sora and Matt but somehow turned into pointing out how TK and Kari are supposedly made for each other?) You should try to write the characters as they are, and not as who you want them to be. TK and Kari are hardly shy (I have no idea where you could think that in the series), and I found them very out of character - physically, too. Kari and boobs... what boobs?

Also, um, TK's "toned" but Matt's "skinny"? I don't know any older brothers who are skinnier than their younger brothers - particularly when one is 18, and the other is a barely-hit-puberty 15 year old. Again, your TK bias at work. It's pretty obvious that Matt isn't skinny. He's buffer than Tai and TK at the end of the series (the epilogue)... and just in general. I also find it weird that all the guys who play a sport have "athletic, toned" bodies in your story. I must be going to the wrong high schools where guys who played sports looked just like all the other guys who didn't, because sports doesn't actually impact much. And I've been to five high schools. (... And the hilarious fact that all the basketball and soccer players were incredibly skinny.)

But I digress. As I said, you do show some promise in writing; you have the building blocks for it. You've just got to work on it more, and try to keep characters in character; write them as they are.

Overall, it was a decent story. I just suggest writing a TK and Kari story instead of attempting to write a Matt and Sora story where you're actively wanting to push Takari everywhere. It really seemed like it was a Takari told through the backdrop of Sora. If you've committed yourself to write a certain story, you have to go against your natural instincts to over indulge yourself with unneccessary plots. It's hard, but it makes the story tighter - and better.