This was...really depressing. I liked that prompt, so I'm glad someone did it. Well, I hated the prompt, but it was in its own way quite fascinating...

Anyway, you pulled this off well! And it is tragic but not overdone. I'd imagine anyone who blurted out something so hurtful only to find out that they really didn't come back would be... Well, I can't even really put that into words without writing a 'fic. I'm sure you know what I mean!

The "You're not a saint. You're only a man." lines work really well, as depressing as they are.

Thanks for a good (albeit sad) read!

Cheers,

-Manna

PS. Lucius and Raven lend themselves to depressing stuff far too easily, don't you agree? WTB some happy...

But... But... RAVEN! Now how am I supposed to beat the final six! Oh yeah, sorry Lucius. But, all joking aside, excellent work!

I *like* your Lucius. Probably my favorite line in the piece was this- "...as he stared down his lord's sister (it does not make her his lady, despite the title he affords her)"- as it said a great deal about them both without the need for any dialogue.

The part where other characters welcomed back the returning soldiers was effective without being sappy. And this- "There is no dignity in wide-open, rolled back eyes"- brought things home neatly.

I also like that you don't pull your punches.

I'm not a fan of character death. Keeping that in mind, this is pretty good. You show a nice understanding of Lucius's character and do a good job of delving into his emotions, not just towards Raven but towards others in the camp (I'd especially like to see how he interacts with Serra and Priscilla after this). The great thing about Lucius is how peaceful and calm he is (despite all the killing, something I'm glad you touched on here), so it's interesting to explore what he'd be like if he lost that, even temporarily. There's a lot to like here. Good job.

*cries*

this was absolutely beautifully heart-wrenching!

it's slight slash but...it's so good I can hardly fault you for shipping slash now...

Absolutely heartbreaking-and so painfully human. Really lovely work.

;0;

That's seriously all I can say right now, dude. I mean, this was awesome.

[You're not a saint. You're only a man.] Best line ever, because really. How many stories do you see where Lucius is portrayed exactly like that: a man? Not a monk.

I love how you wrote Lucius in this. It's just so... Augh. I don't think I can really put my finger on /what/ you did, exactly. Just. So much awesome. Like, the anger and resentment and the guilt andandand.

Ho snap I should stop before I sound like even more of an idiot.

Anyway this was awesome-now. I want more.

8D

[Xirysa]