It was pretty good and funny. I liked it!

My first fanfiction... Oh boy. You know, maybe because it was my young age...
That was so cute! I loved it. For a first fanfiction, you are really good! Keep it up and keep improving!

Ugh In reading this is the middle of the night and now I'm craving twix! REALLY REALLY BADLY! You see Travis girls are like animals and the chocolate is like a banana. Never take it away from us!

so cute :)

that must have been a blessed Trix bar or something. But then again, it s chocolate, cho-o-collate...yum

AWWWWW! This was so sweet and funny. I loved it.

Haha, funny. I think I've read this before...you are the same person, right? RESPECT. THE. CHOCOLATE. TRAVIS.

Sorry Travis, but you disert it.

Never, nerver, never take a girl's chocolate.

It's just... An stupid act.

Hahahaha, I loved it.

Kisses,

Jojo

I have to say, this story is so cute! And since it was you're first fan fiction it wasn't that bad. I thought it was pretty good actually!

Just try to add more description here and there, you know nothing serious. If you want your stories to become longer it's a good way to start. Keep writing!

Im not sure if your the same person but I already read this story way back except this one was a bit modified

This is an interesting story, with a different perspective. Here are some of the flaws I found, however.

P.O.V. It seemed like Travis could read Katie Stoll's mind. How is this possible?

Spelling/Grammar I am also a victim of bad grammar, but try to correct it if possible.

These were the only ones I really found, so overall, great story!

Haha. Thats how I got together with my boyfriend. He took my Herseys bar and broke a peice off and put half of it in his mouth, he wouldnt give the rest back unless I got the piece he had out of his mouth. I just kissed him, he gasped and using my tounge I got it out of his mouth and into mine. Our friends, who where trying to get us together for months, just starred at us. I just wispered "Dont you EVER take my choclate again." And kissed him again. Just for the heck of it.

OWWW! I love this!

you could re-write this story and put some chapters into this and you could have a story

LOVE IT!