Wow, I love this story so far! Awesome work! Update soon please! 3

Kuudere definitely

God I really love this chapter... the dialogue was sweet and beautiful. Really! Props to you. And these two are my favorite characters hehe.

Finnel is so pitiable yet adorable here. I love how you wrote Cocona-she handled the girls differently-with Finnel she's gentle, with Ar Ru she's playful-it made her seemed so mature.

I'm looking forward to next chapters! *favorites*

Ohh, finally, Finnel XD

I really how you portrayed Cocona. She seemed so mature.

I really like your writing style. And the characters are so in-chara. Ar Ru is so adorable~ Keep writing!

Through all the chapter I kept thinking Cocona was speaking through her own experience towards Croix. The last lines confirmed this for me.

Hmm... has Suzunomia awakened yet at this part? She was mentioned in one of the earlier chapter, but not on this pair of Finnel chapters. I ask because I see lots of doubt still on her, while I thought she would be a bit better after Suzunomia 'joined'

We already had Ar Ru and Finnel... are we getting Saki and Tyria?

Writing this as I read. Are the names of several characters different on your region? I notice you use Jakuri instead of Jaqli, Frelia instead of Freya and Ayane instead of Akane.

When Cocona was thinking about how she would find excuses to sleep away from Aoto while camping and instead went to Hikari Gojo, who suspected something? I guess Aoto, since Hikari already knew about her.

When Cocona said 'such misfortune' it reminded me of Touma from To Aru, heheh.

I was expecting to see more of Finnel here, but it seems it turned out to be more about Cocona and her thoughts regarding the differences with this group and the previous ones. Still a nice portrayal of Cocona.

Fun fact. Cocona was 12 on the Japanese QOGA while 16 on the American.

I like Finnel a lot too, but I also think the game practically pushes you towards Saki. I really love the three Reyvateils in this game. On the 1st game I hated Aurica, while on the 2nd while I don't dislike Cloche, I prefer Luca. I think Saki wins in the end, but I like Saki, Tyria and Finnel.

I think you characterization of Ar Ru was spot on. Her conversation with Cocona is something I can see really happening.

Have you considered writing a full lenght Ar Tonelico fic? Your writing style would work it miracles. I would love to see a story having all characters from the 3 games meeting, due to their connections with either Jakuri or the 3 Origins.

I liked the portrayal, but I felt it didn't go anywhere in the end.

why is it that this keeps happening in every other ar tonelco games

I love how this story is centered on Cocona since she's an awesome character and I totally love her

Cocona's actually 13. NISA, why you.

I also like how you told the other character's interaction (mainly Aoto-Saki-Finnel triangle thingy).

Some typos, but it's okay.

And the end really made Cocona seemed so badass XD