Hello,

I think so far I really like your story. There is just one thing which is bothering me the whole time. Where on earth did you pick these German words or sentences?

It is quite hilarious to read as a native speaker. Let me tell you most of these sentences don't make sense because grammatically it is just funnily awkward.

I would love to correct these sentences and words cause most of the time words can't be translated 1:1. For example goodbye does mean "Abschied". The thing is that you never say "Abschied". We only use Abschied as a noun to say what we are doing. Here is an example: Wir nehmen Abschied. This means we are going to say goodbye and leave. Abschied is definitely the wrong word in this context. The right word would have been Tschüss. In English it could be referred to bye. Let us say we want the exact translation then it must be "Auf wiedersehen".

Honestly I am curious which translator you used because google translate can translate (nowadays) properly.

Just to be less mean which I hope I was not because it was not my intention at all. I just want to add that in 2011 google translate was not that good as nowadays. So I forgive you and your obliviousness because German is a very difficult language and not easy to translate because of many reasons.

Props to you for your courage to write some parts in German. And although the grammar is not mostly incorrect one can understand what you meant and still mean.

So I really enjoyed your story. Just one more thing, nobody I have ever met in my entire life has been called Ludwig or Beilschmidt. Schmidt is very common but Ludwig naaah. Ludwig the sun king of France?

To add some shiny sprinkles to my dark review I just want to say that your writing style is gorgeous!

But now enough of me!

Please do not take this the wrong way! I simply wanted to help!

Lots of luuuve!

This sounds like 2P characters... but probably this is just very Alternative Universe... interesting, dark and somewhat twisted AU... I don't know what to think about this yet. Oh, but I liked how detailed you write. I wish I could write that way too.

This fic was so different from anything else I’ve read so far, and that was definitely for the better. Do I regret pushing aside overdue homework in lieu of reading this masterpiece? Absolutely not. The USUK worked so well as a both a side plot and comic relief, and seeing the two stories converge in some parts was a treat. I love this version of Lud and Feli, and until I recover from this roller coaster, this’ll be how I imagine then for quite a while. The descriptions you gave really add to the moments, and I love your writing style. Thank you for this, it was a pleasure to read!

OKAY THIS IS MY LIKE 5TH TIME READING THIS AND I LOVE THIS FANFIC SO SO SO DAMN MUCH I SWEAR TO GOD-

Ya gotta love Artie.

I believe they are Ivan’s sisters? Ah welp, way to get in the Family.

That was easily one of the best stories I have read on this site. Thank you for writing this.

*is still shrieking*

This. Was. So. Good. My mouth is still gaping because I cannot believe that I am only just now reading this masterpiece. The pacing—! The development—! The characters—! The everything! I loved absolutely every second of this fic. Your mafia!Feliciano was definitely a nice change too since you showed him to be quite capable of being a little sadistic and violent, but still the childish, soft-hearted person we love.

And can I talk about your Ludwig? It was so nice to see him transition from "shut the fuck up Feliciano" to "I love you, don't leave me". I also have never read a fic where he was already married! That was a pleasant surprise. I had been looking for a fic where perhaps Feli wasn't his first love.

On a side note, I enjoyed the humor Arthur and Alfred brought to the story. I'm sure they weren't there for comedic relief entirely, but the side USUK did liven things up :)

As anyone can tell from this long review, I REALLY liked this fic. I'm not sure if you will even read this, but I just had to spill this out because I truly admire how well-written this was. Great work!

[Written on mobile, sorry for glaring mistakes]

I LOVED IT!

Love!

Damn, Kiku is a bad ass!

Dark, fascinating, and well-written. An interesting read.

It's nearly 2:00am and my mind feels molested. I loved this story and how you wrote the characters. Just... wow. Favourite.

That was a very good story and believe me I have read a lot ! You just keep writing and story telling because you are very very good at it !

YOU SICK LITTLE...! WHY DID YOU MAKE ME THINK...! Errrrrgh...*favs story because words aren't awesome enough*

He died but not and...ugh, I'm done.