Yasssss its good

Benny: I love me too
They all give him are u serious look
Benny:what I wanted to be in clueded

Awwwwww

This ending is the exact one to another story

That's weird u have the same lines from a kickin it fanfic

Whoa! Jesse seemed to just fly off the handle at the beginning. What happened to his cool, calm, and collected personality?

Sara sounds like she's blaming Venny for everything. Wow. What a great friend... (sarcasm) Anyways the chart doesn't say ageless. Also Benny wasn't the only one who missed that Ethan and Jesse slipped past. Sara missed it too, but she seems to be implying that she knew the whole time and shifted her blame to Benny solely.

In a lot of the dialogue you used the word "screamed" to describe how they delivered their words, but I feel like you used that a bit too much. Also I feel like the better term for what they're doing is "yelling" rather than "screaming" or at the very least use a mixture of the two that way it won't be so tiring to read the same word over and over again in a row.

wow

Lowkey, your grammar makes me wanna kms.

Me gusto mucho esta historia

Wow wow wow fantastic, amazing, wonderful, awesome, fabulous story i loved it so much i got so intreged into this story i loved it so much. are you going to do more of these types of stories because i loved this one so much i loved it

Hope you do the retake of it I really like the story.

hey, hey. it's really alright what you're doing. you really don't have to worry so much about your account being taken away. there are millions of stories on here, you know that the people of FF won't be all uptight about one little bending of the rules. just chill out a bit. i totally support what you're doing. 3

That is the best location ever! lol