Man, if only you remade this story without those stupid OC’s, especially Natsu’s “Master” with his fake relationship with Zeref, if you ever remake this story, please get rid of him, he literally adds nothing to the story, and Natsu could definitely get much stronger by himself without an OC to drag him down.

Before you read this pau attention to the last update so you don’t waste your time, the author is not coming back.

... I could NEVER GUESS where the last scene's inspiration came from... Naruto and his hatred much? still, very good fanfic, like it a lot. Especially how well integrated the enemy power scaling is. most of the time, they add in some new and unrelated villain or not even bother explaining how the enemies got their power boosts. thanks for a good power-boost lore.

How is this any different from cannon your just copying with the mention of time travel and natsu being stronger. Dialogue is the same and natsu still acts his idiotic self someone who has been through war and seen his friends and family die around him should be more mature and level headed and take advantage of the fact he is back in time.

Ur

Ugh, you’re even using the canon gags. Should probably just change the description to ‘Essentially canon with several mentions of time travel and allusions to Natsu’s new strength which changes nothing because he’s just as stupid, only without the right to claim naïveté.’

... this is already a pain. I’ll go into why.

First problem.. forgetting the fact he should be much more mature seeing as he’s been through more and was technically older than he was when he met Lucy for the first time in his original timeline, he’s had two years to make plans. But he has no plans, can’t think on his feet for the life of him and acts almost exactly the same as he did in canon, only difference being the odd slip up in regards to his time travel.

Second problem either stems from the first, or more likely is the cause of the first. You’re trying too hard to keep events canon. It’s only the first chapter, so I can deal with it but if you keep making him act like an absolute retard just so things progress similarly or identical to canon, the story will get unbearable fast.

Third problem is again related to the first, and to the second, but his idiocy results in weirdly forced moments. He was just saying he needed to get Lucy to join Fairy Tail and that he had to protect her.. so his solution to that is to stop talking to her so that she can get kidnapped by potential rapists all so he can ‘save’ her. Ignoring the fact he allowed it.

It's a great story, mate, but I would heavily suggest working on your descriptions. I'd like to know what the man who Makarov is talking to looks like. At least give me that. And describe the magic attacks. Like Elfman's metal bull arm? I didn't know the Japanese name until I googled it. If you had described it, it would've made things alot easier for the reader. I've been googling things too much. So, just a suggestion, but description would be a great thing to work on.

The guy below me: The only thing stale is yo wack ass breath dude

Your story is getting stale as shit bud.

All you haters shut up cause you’re no better than anyone else especially you clumsy and you oi teme

look a tsundere gray

Geez giving so many hints that he time traveled is he DUMB lol “let’s go on a training ! So I can save everyone” *sad smile* in the letter he left he says he can’t leave due to reasons he can’t say like that’s so suspicious, he could’ve just said he left on a training trip to get stronger

This was fucking awful. A cringe fest without compare. How many times have you had mira gasp in this one chapter? I've lost count because it's too fucking much, you have a in awe ficsation? The worst was mira feeling bad for a fucking stranger and agreeing to marry. Absolutely no reason, the kidnappers history with mira is faaaaaar too weak to justify anything in this filler. You were much better in the earlier chapters i applaud them, now in early later chapters you're starting to lose your mind.

Its becoming annoying.